


Only You [Sebastian Stan]

by Rogerthatbarnes



Series: Finding Forever [1]
Category: Marvel, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Celebrities, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Loss, Romance, Slow Build, Tearjerker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 86,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogerthatbarnes/pseuds/Rogerthatbarnes
Summary: "Is this seat taken?"Who knew four little words  would change my life forever?I certainly didn't.I'd also never believed in love at first sight - until I met her.





	1. 1

Sadie's POV

"Is this seat taken?" a deep voice close to me said as someone touched my shoulder, startling me out of my book.

"Ah!" One hand flew to my neck as I looked up with wide eyes to see an extremely attractive man with a five o'clock shadow, messy dark brown hair and beautiful blueish gray eyes gesturing at the seat beside me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, smiling slightly. "My apologies." 

"No, I'm sorry; I was a little too into my book," I replied. "I wasn't expecting anyone. No one else has said anything to me, so it's all yours." I took my backpack from the seat next to me and set it on the floor before glancing at my watch. "I wasn't sure it was going to be taken, actually." I watched him stow his bag, his t-shirt riding up enough to show incredibly drool worthy abs. 

"Why's that?" he asked when he finally sat down. 

I was the only one of my group in first class, and I had to say it was a lot nicer than I thought it would be. There were only a couple other people up here with us, but now that I looked around, all the seats in first class were now filled. 

"The rest of the seats up here have been taken for a while already. Don't we take off really soon?" I asked, putting my finger in my book to mark my place. "I must've been more absorbed than I thought if I missed the announcements."

He gave me a grin, his New York accent more noticeable. "You didn't miss them yet. I just don't like to have to sit on the plane any longer than I absolutely have to."

"I don't blame you," I said with a smile. "We had a large group that needed to board together for head count, so we've been on here for almost an hour already. Our connection came in ahead of schedule."

"Lucky you," he said, giving me a leisurely once over - in a good way, making me flush slightly under his intense gaze.

"I'm Sadie, by the way." I held out my hand and he shook it firmly, his hand warm and his long fingers wrapping all the way around my much smaller hand.

"Sebastian," he said with a crooked grin, those lovely eyes holding mine. Cerulean, I determined, finally finding a name for that color of blue. "A pleasure to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Sebastian," I said, taking my hand back as my brain reminded me of another Sebastian I'd known a long time ago. "Random fact: Sebastian was the name of my Junior prom date. He was a foreign exchange student."

"Junior prom?"

I looked at him for a moment. "Did your high school have prom or was Homecoming your dress-up kind of formal dance you asked a date to?"

"Oh, umm. Homecoming was a suit and tie kind of thing – date optional."

"So you never had the whole '90's prom experience – cheap paper mache and cardboard decorations that involve a theme? Ironically enough for that prom the theme was 'Under the Sea' which was fitting for a Sebastian. It included teal and pink balloons and a grand march."

He only laughed, rubbing his hand over his stubbled cheeks. "Can't say I have," he finally said when he regained his composure. He seemed really familiar, but I knew I'd never met him before. 

"Oh, you then you've missed out," I said with a laugh. I opened my book and tucked one foot under me, ready to go back to my story. I was just getting to the good part. 

"Where are you headed?" He asked as I flipped a page.

Considering this was a transatlantic flight directly to Germany, the answer was pretty obvious, but I replied anyway. "Munich," I said, glancing over at him before looking back down. "My son's high school arranged a two week long seven country trip through Europe. My son has a severe food allergy, so for him to be allowed to go on this trip, one of us had to go with him."

"So you're chaperoning high school kids?" he scoffed, a smile hovering on his lips. "No offense, Sadie - but you don't look old enough to have a teenage son."

I laughed lightly and raised an eyebrow. "Considering I've been up since 3:30 this morning so we could catch our flight into La Guardia, I'm going to take that as a compliment. And we've got 28 fifteen to seventeen year old kids all together - doesn't that sound awesome?" 

"I don't know about awesome, but it doesn't sound boring," he chuckled.

"How about you? Where are you headed?"

"Munich as well – for work. I travel a lot."

"Is the flight still 14 hours? It's been a while since I've been to Europe."

"Between 9 and 10 hours from New York – which is plenty long enough – at least there's enough room to stretch my legs out up here. So where's the rest of your group?"

"Back there somewhere," I said, gesturing to the rear of the plane. "They upgraded my ticket, I guess."

"Hmm. Lucky for me," he said, flashing a crooked grin I'd seen once already today – but not in person - on the movie my son and I had watched together on the first flight today. Suddenly it hit me just who I was sitting next to and I'd never been happier for an interruption than right then.

"Mom?"

I turned at the sound of my name to see my 15 year old son standing next to Sebastian. "Yeah, Liam? Is everything all right?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Can I have my iPad? The iPod's dead already," he said, handing it to me. "Will you charge it for me?"

"Yup and yup. Give me a minute to find it, okay?" 

I pulled my backpack up from the floor and started to dig through it for the flash charger and the iPad, taking a moment to tell myself to play it cool.

"Sure. Wow – you sure have a lot of room up here, Mom," Liam said, sounding impressed.

"First time on a plane?" Sebastian asked him.

"Second time today - and ever. I'm Liam," he said, holding out his hand to Sebastian, who shook it. "You look really familiar."

"I get that a lot, actually. I'm Sebastian."

I knew he'd figure it out, too. He looked a little closer at the man next to me and lowered his voice. "Sebastian – as in the Sebastian Stan?"

"You got it."

"Mom, did you know you're sitting next to the Sebastian Stan?" he asked in a semi-quiet whisper. I chuckled quietly at his excitement.

"Yeah, hon, I put two and two together already," I said, giving him a grin. "Hard to miss it when we just watched one of his movies earlier today. No freaking out and bugging Mr Stan, okay?"

"Mooommmm, I'm not five."

I gave Liam a look that said knock it off, but I also knew how excited he was. Sebastian had been one of his favorite actors since he'd seen the first Captain America in theater. (Marvel being the extent of his knowledge mostly because he was too young to watch a good deal of Sebastian's other work.)

"Are you sure you're not? Because I can show Sebastian all kinds of embarrassing pics of you. We've still got a long flight ahead of us."

"Mom!" he hissed through his teeth, already embarrassed.

"Kidding...maybe...here you go, kid," I said, handing him the iPad. He took it from me and almost turned to go before turning back to Sebastian.

"Sebastian, do you think I can get a photo with you?"

"Sure, Liam," he said, looking over at me. I nodded and pulled out my phone, snapping a couple before the warning to take our seats came on.

"Thanks!" he chirped, smiling happily.

"Get going – and be good," I told my son, watching him head back through the doorway to his seat. I turned to the handsome man beside me and smiled. "Thank you, Sebastian. I didn't have a chance to warn you."

"Any time, Sadie," he said with that heart-stopping smile. "So you already knew who I was and you were going to play dumb?"

In answer, I handed him a gossip magazine I'd bought for reading on the plane that had gotten pulled out to find the electronics. "Considering this is today's issue, I'd say it'd be wishful thinking for you to not be recognized. Publicity for Civil War is everywhere, you know."

"Don't remind me," he groaned, leaning his head back against the seat.

"I won't then," I quipped, putting the stuff I'd pulled out while searching for the iPad back in my backpack. "Besides, I totally ship you with Scarlett...and I'm definitely more of a Steve Rogers kinda girl." I opened my book back up, finding where I'd left off.


	2. 2

Sebastian's POV 

"You did not just say that!" I stared at the woman next to me with astonishment. I couldn't believe she'd literally just told me to my face that she thought Chris Evans was hotter than me. 

"I did," Sadie said, glancing up at me, her lips quirked slightly. "Blond hair, blue eyes – he's the original American dreamboat." 

I didn't miss her flush at the admission – and I was almost certain she was just giving me a hard time. Almost.

The takeoff instructions came on over the speakers, and we buckled in and I made sure I had everything tucked away securely before looking back over at her, watching her looking out the window during takeoff. 

Sadie was gorgeous in that naturally beautiful kind of way that most of the women I knew strived to imitate. Her long, curly dark brown hair was loose and she wore a touch of makeup, just enough to let me know she cared about how she looked. Her hair framed a heart shaped face and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing skinny jeans and a light green long sleeved shirt, her jacket rolled up between her and the wall. 

I'd stood back and watched Sadie before approaching her when I first noticed she had the seat next to mine. The book and the jump hadn't been an act, she'd actually been startled by me. She was still holding her book, one finger tucked between the pages so she wouldn't lose her place. 

It had been a while since I'd met someone who didn't have an agenda when it came to me. Usually, the moment they knew who I was, they were more like the teenage boy had been – another fan. There was always something they wanted from me.

I glanced down at the tabloid she'd handed me, looking at the picture of me with my arm around Scarlett Johansson and my lips to her ear at last weekend's premiere of her new movie. There wasn't anything between us, but that's not the way it looked in the photo. The photo made it look like I was saying something risqué in her ear, my arms around her familiarly and her lips parted in laughter and her hand on my chest. We looked like a couple from that angle and they printed it because speculation sold magazines.

"So blue eyed blonds are your thing?" I asked once we leveled out after take off. She'd already opened her book again and was twirling a long strand of hair around her finger as she read, pretending to ignore me, but I didn't feel like being ignored today - not by her. 

"I married one, so sure," she replied absently, not looking up. "His hair's more brown than blond anymore – with a fair amount of gray – but he was blonder then."

"You're not wearing your ring," I pointed out. She turned a page, eyes moving over the print.

"Never do," Sadie said, finally glancing over at me. "I can't wear it at work and we're spending almost two weeks in Europe with a large group of students from all over the US and Canada. I don't need to lose it or have it stolen." 

All reasonable explanations. "What kind of work do you do?" I asked curiously. Most people tended to talk my ears off, but I got the impression she wasn't like most people, which intrigued me.

Sadie closed her book and set it aside, giving up on reading for now. "I'm a certified pharmacy technician at a decent sized regional hospital in a town I can guarantee you've never heard of."

"What does a pharmacy technician do?" I asked, admiring her sass.

"A lot, but basically for my job I either mix IV's, make chemo or fill meds, depending on the shift I'm working."

"I only know about some of that from different roles I've played, but you actually make the fluid bags they hang for the patients?"

"Yeah, depending on what the doctor orders or what they're in the hospital for. We get a lot of minor injuries, elderly people and deliver a lot of babies. Anything real serious is transferred to a larger hospital over three hours away by land – less than an hour by air."

"Where are you from? I can't place your accent."

"South Dakota. We don't have an accent, which is why Midwesterners are preferred as newscasters. Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Tom Brokaw – all Midwesterners."

"You do have an accent," I said. "It's in how you pronounce your vowels."

"Nothin' like yours, pal," she said, imitating my accent perfectly. "Brooklyn?"

"A holdover, but yeah," I grinned. "So South Dakota?"

"Most people don't even know the state exists even if they did take geography in school, so don't be worried you're going to offend me by saying you've never heard of it."

"I have heard of it," I said, amused by her answer. "I've just never been there – only flown over it, I guess. What would someone need to see if they went to South Dakota?"

"You want a tour guide answer or what a native would say?"

"Definitely native. I'd just google it if I wanted the tour guide rankings."

"Then I'd say you need to see what a small town really looks and feels like - they never get it right in the movies. Then you need to ride in a combine, see a rodeo, go horseback riding on the prairie, drive through the Badlands, visit Storybook Land – "

"Storybook Land?" I said with a grin. "Really?"

Her eyes sparkled and she laughed, realizing what I was thinking. "Not like Once Upon A Time, Sebastian! It's more of a family-orientated day trip kind of thing based off The Wizard of Oz. It's free, so anyone can go whenever it's open and you follow the yellow brick road through a park with scenes from a lot of different fairy tales and kid's stories. I can show you some pictures if you like – we take my nieces and nephews there whenever they come to visit."

"I'd like that," I said. "So what do you mean, they never get small towns right?"

"What's the population of the smallest town you've ever been in?"

"Umm, I don't know – maybe 50,000?"

"There are like 40 people that live in the town closest to my dad's farm. I had one other person in my class from 4th through 8th grade, Sebastian. There are more people on this plane than went to my entire school counting all grades, K-12."

At first I thought she was joking, but then I realized she was serious. "No way. That's crazy. I can't even wrap my mind around that." 

"Hence the reason the movies get it wrong. You just have to see it to believe it, I guess."

"What's a combine?" I asked, not sure I'd ever heard of it.

"A large machine that harvests crops – I'll show you." She pulled out her phone and scrolled through pictures until she found what she was looking for before handing it to me. She pointed at the large green machine. "That's a combine. You can scroll through if you want. I think there's a couple more I took of my boys helping my dad and brothers last fall."

She sat back and opened her book again. I thumbed through them, seeing a lot of pictures of Liam and a couple more boys with cattle, horses and other machines.

"Who's this?" I asked, pointing at the boys.

"The blond on the left is my youngest son, Isaac and the middle boy is my nephew Gabe. If Isaac were here, I'd have to judge who has the prettier eyes, you or him."

"What color are they? I can't quite tell."

She reached over and tapped the screen, pulling up a different picture of the boy. "They change a lot, but they're considered hazel – and yes, Isaac knows he has pretty eyes. When he was really little, he'd say 'I'm Isaac and I have pretty eyes' while fluttering his long eyelashes at the person." She smiled widely, showing her dimples, clearly doting on her sons.

I looked at the young man and nodded. "I agree – and if you've got it, flaunt it. That explains why you like blonds then." I handed her back her phone, our fingers brushing as she took it back, the brief touch giving me goosebumps.

She shook her head slightly. "I do like blonds, but I actually just wanted to see what you'd say if I said that," she said with a grin. "You didn't disappoint."

"Nice - first you pretend you don't know who I am and then you say you don't like me," I teased, watching her tuck her long hair back as she paused for a second before replying with a slight smile.

"I never said I didn't like you – you're the one who said that, darling."

"I did, didn't I?"

She turned her body slightly so she was facing me. "So I take it you and Scarlett aren't really a thing?"

"No, we're not."

She pouted briefly. "That's too bad - it seems like you get along well. So where do you live when you're not traveling for filming?"

"New York. Have you ever been there?"

She shook her head. "Not unless you count today in the airport for refueling, but I'd like to someday. I've always wanted to go see a Broadway play. We don't get much for theater where I'm from. The annual college and high school plays are about it unless I want to drive five and half hours to Minneapolis."

"I don't count that. That's like comparing a grape to wine. You should really come to New York some time, see the real thing; I'd love to show you around. I've got a place in Manhattan with a killer view."

"I'll bet you do," she said, raising her eyebrows as she picked her book back up and turned away from me. I didn't stop to think, just held out my hand. I wasn't ready to be done talking to her; it hadn't even been an hour into the flight yet.

I knew Sadie was attracted to me - and she didn't deny it. I'd put the suggestion that we get together out there, but she hadn't even acknowledged my offer - she'd sidestepped it and attempted to ignore me. That bothered me more than it probably should considering the number of times I'd hoped people wouldn't notice me.

"What are you reading?" I asked, taking the book from her.

I looked at the back cover to read the summary, giving myself time to shake off the feeling I'd offended her somehow and used my charm to draw her out, making conversation. As the stewardess came by, I ordered us drinks and we continued talking. 

To my surprise, I found myself slowly becoming even more attracted to her, watching her talk with her hands like Chris did when he was excited about something. I learned she had a dry sense of humor and was so quick to toss out a witty reply to some of my more pointed questions that I found myself laughing so much my sides were hurting. 

By the time I finally handed her back her book, we were comfortably engrossed in a great conversation. She was smart, funny and interesting. There wasn't anything we couldn't talk about, even trading stories from when we were kids.

"You hold your liquor remarkably well for a girl," I teased as we started on another round of drinks.

She only smiled. "There wasn't much to do where I grew up, so on weekends we partied. So if you're trying to get me drunk, you better have a pretty high tolerance, Sebastian."

I liked how my name rolled off her tongue, her pronunciation distinctly her own. "That sounds like a challenge, Sadie Mae."

"That's not my middle name. What would you pick for a middle name? I've heard you don't have one."

"I don't. I kind of feel like the length of my first name more than makes up for that," I said, changing the subject back to New York, discussing some of the things she wanted to see and tossing out a few suggestions of my own, offering again to pay for her family's trip. We were getting along so well and there was definitely chemistry between us - I didn't think she'd refuse now.

"Seriously, Sadie. You should come to New York this summer - bring the whole family. I've got plenty of room for you all at my place."

"Sebastian," she said, shaking her head slowly, her smile fading. "I know what it would cost to spend a week in New York and do everything I'd want to, and that just isn't in our budget this year - especially after this trip to Europe."

I was flabbergasted. "Sadie, what good is having money if I can't spend it on something that would make us both happy? I can fly you all in, no problem - I've got more frequent flyer miles than I know what to do with! You'd really be doing me a favor. For as long as I've lived in New York, I've never even went to go see the Statue of Liberty up close, let alone half the stuff you mentioned. I'd love to show you around my city."

"I'll think about it," she said after studying my face for a long moment, but I could hear the soft 'no' in her voice. It wasn't something I was accustomed to hearing, and I honestly hadn't expected a no from her. "I should go check on Liam. I haven't seen him in a while."

"All right," I said, standing up so she could get out and intending to stretch my legs myself. Luckily, I was close enough to catch her when she tripped unexpectedly - who knew all those days spent on stunt training had paid off. She fell hard into my body, the contact jolting me like I'd touched a live wire. "You okay?" 

She was taller than I thought, only a couple inches shorter than me - the perfect height, really. Her warm breath on my neck set my pulse racing, having her touching me like this. My hands curled around her arms, holding her in place for a moment, her face inches from my own.

"Yeah, thanks," she said, pushing off my chest so she could stand on her own and stepping out of the leather strap that was around her ankle. "I didn't see this - I hope I didn't break anything."

"There's nothing breakable in my travel bag," I said, letting go of her before I did something stupid like kiss her right then. I picked it up and setting it on the seat. "Sorry, Sadie - it must've fell over when I got up. Are you sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine, Sebastian. Really, I am." 

She turned and headed to the next section of the plane and I sat back down. I replayed my earlier words in my head, I realized I'd come on stronger than I'd intended trying to convince her to come visit me, and the physical contact hadn't helped my case. 

I'd been interested in her before; now I wanted her more than anything else. If I didn't want for this to be the only time I saw her, I needed to keep myself under control. She wasn't like other women - and that was a good thing.

The stewardess brought more drinks and I was starting to wonder if Sadie was coming back when I caught a whiff of her light perfume. I smiled when I looked up at her in the darkened cabin, shifting my legs so she could brush by me with the trays out, her legs rubbing against mine in a way that made me forget what I'd been thinking about before.

"Everything all right?" I asked her quietly. She seemed a little preoccupied again.


	3. 3

Sebastian's POV

"Everything all right?" I asked quietly. Sadie seemed a little preoccupied. I'd finally met the right girl - at the wrong time. I'd never felt a connection like this with anyone before. Something about this girl made me act like an infatuated teenager again.

"Yeah, Liam's fine," she said, curling up in the seat next to me and covering up with the blanket. She yawned, politely bringing one hand up to cover her face. "His seat partner traded snacks with him so he had something safe to eat."

Her expression was apologetic as she showed me her phone. It was a group iMessage with over a dozen recipients. I quickly read the messages, realizing why she'd seemed preoccupied. Unfortunately, Liam was so excited about meeting me that he'd already mentioned to his classmates that I was here and now they all wanted to meet me, too.

"I managed to convince them that they can't just come up here. It took some doing, but they promised to leave you alone if I would ask if you'd be willing to take a couple pictures with the group when we land." Her expression was apologetic. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. I didn't know until a little bit ago and I'm sure you get this a lot from your fans."

"I'll do it - as long as you take at least one with just me first, Sadie." I said, smiling again and handing her a drink. 

She set her phone down and took it, snorting with amusement. "You don't need a picture of me, Sebastian. You'll forget me by the time you get to your hotel. Why, out of the thousands of girls you've met would you bother to remember me?"

"Ouch!" I said, frowning at her. It might normally be true, but it wasn't with her. I don't think I could forget her if I tried. "That's harsh, Sadie. Besides, I remember that someone promised to show me around South Dakota if I managed to find my way there with enough notice so you could get time off."

"Yes, I did. You'd be a regular fish out of water otherwise. Speaking of fishing, we live on a lake, so you could even go fishing if you wanted to. Have you ever fished before?"

"Maybe once at summer camp the year after my mom remarried."

"Was it hard, getting used to a new stepdad? Or were you not very close to your dad?"

"I was 12 when my mom met Anthony. We hadn't been in America for very long and he was the headmaster of my school. It'd been just me and Mom for so long that it was a little weird to have some other man taking care of my Mom – helping her out and doing nice things for her."

"Did he make her happy?" 

The way she said it made me wonder what she was thinking, so I decided to ask after I answered her question. "Yeah, he did. It was like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders that I hadn't even known was there. I know it wasn't easy, raising me on her own, moving around so she could give her shows. She's a concert pianist, so we only lived in large cities, like Vienna. Did you know you're the first person to ask that?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't."

"What made you say it like that?"

"My dad's getting remarried this summer. I like her fine, don't get me wrong – but she's not my mom."

"Are your parents divorced?"

"No, we're Catholic – my family doesn't believe in divorce. My mom passed away when I was in college. She had a really aggressive cancer and was gone in less than a year of finding out she had it."

"I'm sorry, Sadie."

"She's been gone for half my life now, but it's still not easy to talk about it."

"But you want your dad to be happy. Will she make him happy?"

"I think so. He seems like he's happier since he met her. All of my siblings are grown up now, so he's been on his own for a while. She's a widow with two adult kids." She was quiet for a bit before changing the subject. "Are you sure you can handle wide open spaces? I've heard it's intimidating if you're not used to seeing absolutely nothing for miles."

"I'm up for the challenge, doll. Give me your phone and I'll put my number in for you. I'd love to see everything and meet the rest of your family."

She uncocooned enough to hand over her phone after a moment's thought. "No one's ever called me doll before, Sebastian. Your Bucky is showing again."

"You say that like it's a bad thing, doll," I teased, watching her blush. So she did have a thing for Bucky, then. She'd played it so cool earlier, I really hadn't been sure. My grin widened and I raised my eyebrows. 

"It's a great thing," she said, biting her lip. "Bucky's one of my favorite imaginary people. But seriously, it's all right if you change your mind, Sebastian. I'm not holding you to anything." 

"You should," I retorted as I unlocked my phone and handed it to her, my fingers closing hers around the phone, her reluctance obvious to me. "How is me visiting you different from you visiting me?"

She sighed and closed her eyes briefly before focusing on me again. "It just is. I live in the middle of nowhere. We have exactly one newspaper with a handful of reporters and by the time someone tells them you're there, you'd be gone again. When you're out and about in New York, you get followed by paparazzi, fans - you name it, right?"

"It comes with the territory. It wasn't that bad until Civil War came out," I said.

"I see the tabloids every week in the grocery store, Sebastian. Any female you're seen with, there's speculation. People watch what you do. If you followed me on Instagram they're going to wonder why." 

"Sadie, I don't care about any of that. If I let what people thought of me rule my life I wouldn't be where I am today."

"So you don't think that if you, the famous Sebastian Stan, are seen escorting unknown people around town, no one is going to notice?" She shook her head slightly. "I'd rather not be noticed, Sebastian. I like being a nobody."

"So what if the paps notice you? You're beautiful, Sadie," I reached over and took her hand in mine, squeezing it lightly. "You're my friend, and I'd like you to see my town. There's no place like it - and I've been a lot of places in my life."

She met my eyes again, searching my face. I don't know what she saw on it, but I cut her off before she could turn me down. I knew that this wasn't going anywhere even if I wanted it to. She'd made that quite clear, telling me about her husband and her life at home. And I got it, she was here with her son and people who knew her well. She was concerned about her reputation, and I should try to respect that.

"We can talk about it another day, just fill out a contact for me – address, phone number, everything. My assistant keeps telling me the more information the better." 

I let go of her hand to start entering my number and then entered my assistant's as well, sending him a text from her phone. It wouldn't go through until after we landed, but that was fine. At the moment, I wouldn't put it past her to give me a fake number and the irony of the situation wasn't lost on me. I'd been guilty of giving a girl a fake myself on more than one occasion.

"You have an assistant?" she asked, laughing quietly as she tapped at the phone. "What does he do?"

"Mostly does my shopping – I hate shopping – gets me coffee when I'm on set and keeps my insane shooting schedules straight. I'm not allowed to screw with my calendar anymore after I accidentally erased it and he had to get it back. Thank God for the Cloud." I checked out her Facebook and Instagram profiles so I'd be able to add her later - and was amused to see that she already followed my official accounts.

"That's why I have a paper planner. Can't erase something that way. It's color coded and everything. I've officially turned into a soccer mom."

I laughed at the way she said it, like it was a dirty word. "Do you drive a minivan?"

"Nope. Refuse to buy one. The Tahoe's big enough for what we do and we've got the pickup for everything else." She finished her drink and set the glass down, stifling a yawn as she handed me back my phone. "Done snooping, Scooby Doo?" I handed her back her phone with a smirk, making her giggle. "Don't even give me that crooked little Bucky grin, mister. Now I know you're up to something."

"Ruh roh. Who, me?"

"Mmhm," she yawned again. "Sorry, Sebastian - my ungodly early morning is catching up to me. I really need a nap; we're going to be hitting the ground running in a couple hours and I have to keep up with a bunch of overexcited teenagers."

"Okay, but only because I'm tired too. You do realize we've been talking nonstop for four hours, right?" I said with that same grin.

She glanced at the time and shook her head. "Time flies when you're having fun," she said. "No wonder I'm tired." She tugged at the blanket, intending to cover herself up again and accidentally hit my arm when her hand slid off it; it was firmly stuck under my leg.

"Sorry! Wow, your arms are solid," she said in surprise, poking my biceps with one finger. "I suppose your workouts are pretty intense if you're back to filming."

"Yeah, Don likes to push me pretty hard, but I do a majority of my own stunts, so it's worth it."

"I do like watching you work," she grinned. "Now will you please get off my blanket, Sebastian – I really do need that nap if I'm going to avoid jet lag." She looked up at me with tired eyes and I shifted so she could get her blanket out. "Thank you," she murmured before closing her eyes. 

I found myself watching her fall asleep, her face relaxing and softening. If I thought she was beautiful before, I was even more convinced now. I snapped a couple of photos of her so I could show Chris Evans later. He'd come in a couple days earlier and was picking me up at the airport because I was staying with him in his apartment. Because he needed to be on set for months at a time, Marvel rented a fully furnished apartment for him to stay in.

I found myself thinking about Sadie. She looked uncomfortable the way she was curled up, so I put up the armrest and shifted so she was resting her head on my arm. I decided that I wanted to spend more time with her; I just wasn't sure that would be possible if she was surrounded by a busload of people all the time. 

Since this was their first stop, they might be planning on spending a couple days in Munich. If they were, I could meet her at some of the places they'd probably go.


	4. 4

Sadie's POV

I woke up a while later, feeling well rested. We'd hit some turbulence, which explained why I was awake. I suddenly realized I wasn't in the position I'd went to sleep in - I was far too comfortable. My head was resting on Sebastian fucking Stan's chest and his arm was around me. My hand was splayed on his chiseled abs and I could feel the washboard under my fingers through the thin fabric of his shirt. He smelled incredible - I didn't know what cologne he wore, but it suited him perfectly. 

I was playing with fire, flirting with him as much as I had already earlier. We'd had a great conversation and I felt like I really was getting to know him, which was incredibly cool - but that was as far as this could go. Friends, I could handle - but I was getting the impression he wanted more than that. 

It would be stupid to encourage him; nothing good could come of it. I was happily married with two teenage sons with a life back in South Dakota - a life I had built with my husband. What kind of example was I setting for my boys by acting like this? I'd promised till death do us part, and I still meant it.

I attempted to slide away from Sebastian's warm embrace, but he only tightened his grip and turned towards me, murmuring in what I guessed was Romanian because I knew it wasn't German. I wondered exactly how long I'd been sleeping like this and if anyone had seen me cuddled up with him. I'd prefer to just remove myself from his hold without him waking up - mostly to avoid an awkward situation, but after another failed attempt left me still in his arms with my arm going numb from how firm his grasp was, I gave up and patted him firmly on his chest with my free hand.

"Sebastian?" he didn't move, so I tried again. "Sebastian."

He murmured the same phrase from before but didn't open his eyes.

"Seb - ass - tian," I said a little louder, poking him with my index finger with each syllable. His eyes opened and he gave me a sleepy grin. 

"Hey Sadie," he said, brushing my hair back from my face and keeping his hand on my face. I froze at his touch, desperately trying to ignore what I was feeling because it would complicate things. I tried to will my pulse back to normal, but those steel blue eyes held mine, his lips parted slightly as his thumb stroked my jaw. I lowered my eyes, breaking his spell on me.

"Sebastian, you're cutting off circulation, buddy. I can't feel my arm."

"Sorry, Sadie," he said, reluctantly letting me sit up. 

"Did you have a good dream?" I asked, not looking at him. "You were talking in your sleep." I rubbed my arm until it stopped tingling and then stretched. "Dammit," I hissed quietly as I suddenly got a painful cramp in my calf. I rubbed at my leg to try and get rid of it. "That hurts."

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at me with concern. 

"Charlie horse," I explained. "I must've slept in a weird position or something."

"You were in a really odd position earlier, before I had you lean on me. It hurt to look at you the way your neck was kinked," he said, making an adorably awkward expression as he rubbed his own neck.

"Actually, that's normal," I sighed. "After several years of long car rides to watch the boys' sports, I've developed the perfect sleeping position so I don't snore or get cramps."

"So what did I say?" he asked, sounding a little worried. "I don't usually talk in my sleep - at least I don't think I do."

I really wished I knew what he said now, but I shrugged. "I'm not sure - I think it was Romanian; I speak a little German and it wasn't that," I replied. "At least, nothing that I knew. If you'll excuse me, I need to move around for a little bit so I don't cramp up again."

It was a convenient excuse - I just really needed to get away from Sebastian for a little bit and clear my head. All I could smell was him - his cologne, his shampoo, his natural scent. I was far more comfortable being near him than I'd ever imagined I'd be considering I'd only met him a few hours earlier. 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

There was a hint of panic in Sadie's eyes when I woke up, but I wasn't sure if that was because of how firmly I'd been holding her or if it was from something else. I could still faintly smell her perfume on my shirt from where she'd been laying and I had to think of something else to get my sudden hard-on to go away. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. We'd be arriving in about an hour, so I shot off a quick text to Chris.

Me: Hey bud - I'm about an hour away. You still picking me up or should I take a taxi?

Chris: I'll be there. It's been boring without you this past month.

Me: There's someone I'd like you to meet.

Chris: k. who?

Me: Her name's Sadie.

Chris: She a fangirl?

Me: Not like that. I asked her to come to NY with me and she turned me down flat.

Chris: Srsly?

Me: She's married

Chris: Seb

Me: With kids. 

This sounds bad, I know.

Chris: Sebastian fucking Stan - wtf? 

Me: I know. I know. When do I need to be on set?

Chris: Wednesday for sure. What the hell are you thinking?

 

Two days from now - that meant I could spend a little more time with Sadie. I ignored Chris' question because I didn't even know what to tell him. 

"Hey Sebastian," Liam said, stopping next to me. "Where's my mom?"

"She said she needed to stretch her legs and she was gonna check on you. You can sit down if you want to wait for her."

"Yeah, sure," he said, stepping over me easily and plopping into the seat. "So what are your intentions towards my mom?"

I raised my eyebrows and smiled. Direct - this one really must take after Sadie. "We're acquaintances - maybe friends. We've been talking almost the whole time. Is there a problem with that?"

"Not really; it just looked like you were pretty cozy earlier."

"You saw that, huh?"

"Kinda hard to miss," he said, almost glaring at me. "I came up here to see if my iPod was charged and to plug in the iPad - instead I see you putting the moves on my mom."

I put up my hands in defeat. "I got the message - back off, she's taken. Won't happen again."

"Good, because she loves my dad. They're high school sweethearts and have been married for 16 years."

"I know. She told me all about him. I was thinking about inviting you, your mom and the rest of your family to New York for a week or two when I get done with filming this long stretch."

"My Dad and Isaac too?" he asked suspiciously. I wasn't fooling him; he knew I liked Sadie more than I should.

"Yup. All of you. Your mom said she wanted to see a Broadway show."

"Ever since she watched Glee," he agreed, picking up the backpack and switching out devices. He gave me a pointed look. "That sounds kind of expensive, Sebastian. New York isn't a cheap place to visit."

I gave him an amused look and spelled it out for him. "Liam, if I'm inviting you all, I'm paying for everything. I can afford it and you wouldn't have to stay at a hotel - I have more than enough room for the four of you at my place."

"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I take it Mom said she'd 'think about it,'" he used air quotes, which for some reason made me smile even more. "Which means no. I swear moms all speak the same language because Jake said his mom says that to him too."

"She did - and I was wondering what that meant. You know her pretty well."

"My whole life," he said with a grin. "You're at least her second favorite actor, so I'll see what I can do to talk her into it."

"Second favorite? Who's her favorite?"

He threw me a scathing look. "Dude, come on. Chris Evans, hands down. You might be third after RDJ, now that I think about it. You'd have to ask her to be sure, but she'd probably tell you."

I groaned quietly. "That's it - I'm telling Evans he can't meet her now," I said, picking up my phone. I tried not to smile when the teen played into my hands perfectly.

"No way! You're planning on surprising her, aren't you?" He asked, almost bouncing in his seat with excitement. I forgot how extreme teens were, not really having talked to one like this in a while other than Tom. 

"Maybe," I said, looking over at him. "Good idea or bad idea?"

His grin got even bigger. "Great idea as long as I get it on film. She's gonna freak!"

"So about New York? You think you'd all come visit?"

"I'll do my best. It wouldn't be until this summer, though. I have a solid chance at placing in the top three at State this year."

"State what?"

"Track. I run relays and pole vault."

"So how high can you jump?"

"I cleared 13 feet 6 inches last year for a new PR. Isaac only made it 11 feet."

I heard someone come up next to me and saw Sadie standing beside my seat. "There you are, Liam. I was looking all over for you."

"I went to the bathroom and then came up here to trade electronics. James and I are watching movies. They have ones that are still in theaters on here!" He said enthusiastically. 

"I saw that," Sadie said with a grin. "You better get back to James. The flight attendant said we're only about an hour out yet."

"Okay."

"Actually, if you would stay here for a moment, Liam, we need to go over the plan for when we land. I told your mom I'd be willing to take pictures with your group, but I don't want the paparazzi to know I'm already in Germany, so could you send a group message to your friends with some directions? There's a VIP room we can use for a little bit."

"Yeah, sure," he said, his eyes lighting up. He handed me his phone. "Can you put your number in?"

"Yup," I said, tapping quickly and then sending a message to myself. "Done."

"I can send it to the adults, Sebastian," Sadie said. I loved the way she said my whole name when she addressed me. "That way they can keep the group together. We're supposed to take a shuttle to the hotel after we get our luggage. We don't have any specific plans for tonight, so some of us were planning on checking out the shops by our hotel."


	5. 5

Sadie's POV

We were the first ones off the plane, Sebastian guiding me with a hand on the small of my back. He'd somehow made arrangements for our group to meet in the VIP lounge so the kids could get their pictures without everyone else in the airport knowing he was there. 

Liam had sent out a group text to all the kids with the basic directions Sebastian had supplied so they'd make it there without getting lost. He was pretty familiar with this airport, having been here many times before. 

I received another surprise when we walked into the lounge, Sebastian pulling me forward by the hand when I would have stopped, catching a glimpse of someone I hadn't expected to see. 

"Wait – wait – wait! Sebastian, that better not be who I think it is."

He laughed, his demeanor relaxed and open. "Come on, Sadie! I told him to meet us here so he wasn't followed by the paps. He was already coming here to pick me up and wanted to meet you."

"Sebastian Stan – did my son put you up to this?" I asked, looking at him suspiciously. 

His answer was another one of those Bucky grins as he tugged me forward. I turned suddenly and gave him a quick hug – surprising him for a moment and getting drug backward by his momentum. 

"Thank you," I murmured against his neck, feeling him taking a deep breath as I got my feet back under me again. 

"Any time, doll."

I rolled my eyes at his teasing tone and let go of him, taking the arm he offered me. 

"Smooth, Seb. Very smooth," Chris Evans said with a wry grin. He was even better looking in person, I decided. 

"Believe it or not, I do have manners," Sebastian said with a laugh. "Chris, I'd like you to meet Sadie. Sadie, Chris Evans."

I held out my hand to him, my other arm still wound around Sebastian's. "Nice to meet you, Chris."

He ignored my hand and pulled me into a bear hug. I felt quite small when he had his arms all the way around me. 

"If Sebastian gets to hug you, then so do I. Nice to meet you, Sadie."

"I won't argue with that," I said, amazed my brain was working at all because I was still slightly in shock. I was hugging Chris Evans - and he smelled even better than Sebastian! I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"I will," Sebastian said from behind me. "Give her back, Chris."

"Make me," Chris said, laughing. I was suddenly swept up in his arms and he was evading Sebastian.

"Put me down, put me down!" I said shrilly, panicking already; I hated being carried around, I suddenly remembered. I hadn't freaked out about this in such a long time I hadn't realized it still bothered me this much. Chris set me down instantly and let go of me.

"Are you all right?" Chris asked, sounding concerned.

"Sadie?" Sebastian said, putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into a hug. "What's wrong? You're shaking." His hands rubbed up and down my back soothingly.

"Just wasn't expecting that," I said, taking a wobbly breath, a shudder running through me. "Sorry – old fear I apparently haven't dealt with yet." I took another breath, this one smoother. "I'll be fine as long as my feet stay on the ground." 

"Mom? Everyone's on their way here," my son said warningly as he came up to us, looking from me to the two actors suspiciously. "What's going on?"

I took another second to compose myself, closing my eyes and taking another breath before I opened my eyes and looked up. 

"Sebastian, you have to let go of me," I said quietly. "I'll be okay now and there are 27 kids headed here that can't see you holding me like this." His eyes met mine briefly before he reluctantly let go of me, taking a small step back. I turned to Liam, who was staring at Chris. "You didn't run off the plane, did you?"

"Not off the plane – just here," Liam clarified.

I narrowed my eyes at him, not believing him for an instant. "Nice save, buddy." I turned back to the actors in front of me. "Chris, this is my oldest son, Liam Wilson. Liam, this is Chris Evans."

Liam's jaw dropped as they shook hands, Chris smiling at Liam's obvious hero worship. "It's official! This is the best day of my life! Flying, meeting Sebastian and now meeting you."

"Liam, would you take some pictures for your mom?" Sebastian asked. "She promised me she'd take a picture with me first." He put his arm around me while I was handing Liam my bag and phone, his hand firmly on my hip holding me tight to him.

"Of course," Liam said with a grin, pulling out his phone, too. 

I smiled at Liam's flustered expression, relaxing again. I wasn't even going to try to protest - if Sebastian said he wanted a picture with me, then he was going to get it. I took a couple with Sebastian alone and then with Chris before they both stood next to me. 

I got pictures of Liam with them both and I knew Isaac was going to be really upset he missed out on meeting Chris - his second favorite Marvel character after Spiderman.

We were somehow done with our pictures before the rest of the tour group got there. Chris and Sebastian were really good with the kids and in less than 15 minutes everyone had gotten the chance to speak to them briefly and take a picture with both of them, thanks to a couple of airline employees helpfully taking pictures for the kids to keep the lines moving before we took a large group picture.

Our group leader reminded everyone we needed to get our luggage and head to the hotel - the shuttles were waiting for us already. I turned to Chris, intending to take my leave of them both as well.

"Thanks so much, Chris. It really meant a lot to the kids that you were willing to do this."

He smiled that megawatt smile, making my pulse jump again. "No problem, Sadie. I'm really sorry about earlier. I know what anxiety is like and I feel awful I was the reason for your panic attack." He pulled me in for another hug as Liam came up to us.

"I'm going to go grab our bags, Mom. Meet you at the shuttle?" Liam said. Chris let go of me with a smile and turned to my son.

"Thanks, Liam," I said gratefully. "I'll be right behind you, okay?"

"Sure. Nice to meet you both, guys - and I can't wait for the next movie!"

"See ya, Liam," Sebastian said, giving him a man hug. "Take care of your mom, okay?"

"I will. Bye, Sebastian."

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

After the group left to collect their luggage – they had a timeline to follow, after all - Chris headed over to talk to the airport staff, giving me a minute alone with Sadie. I grabbed her hand, keeping her from following everyone out. I took advantage of the almost empty VIP lounge to put my arms around her and pull her into another tight hug, she fit against me perfectly, setting my body on fire again.

"Sadie, it was so great to meet you and Liam. I think that's the best time I've ever had on a long flight - ever. I'll be honest, I don't want to let you go right now."

"You have to, Sebastian." She took a deep breath, and I knew saying goodbye was just as hard for her. I knew she felt something for me, but wild horses wouldn't be able to drag that admission from her. "I had a wonderful time talking to you today. Thank you, for everything."

"Will you forward me your itinerary when you get it? I don't have to be on set for a couple more days, so I'd like to meet up with you while I can – if that's okay with you?"

"I will. Are you sure you want to do all the touristy stuff with us, though?"

I made a face as that sank in. "Maybe not all of it – call me when you get to your hotel?"

"I will. I really do have to go now, Sebastian," she said as I squeezed her tighter. "This isn't really goodbye, you know." She reached up and touched my face, rubbing my scruff lightly. "You know how to find me; South Dakota isn't that big of a state."

"I'm still going to miss you," I said, finally letting go of her even though every fiber of my being wanted to hang onto her forever. My hands slid slowly down her arms, reluctant to fully release her. "And it's half the world away from here, Sadie."

"You're going to make me cry," she said, her eyes getting shiny. "And then my face will get all red and I'll have to answer questions-"

"Don't cry, doll," I said, cupping her face with my hand.

I moved closer and leaned in, my lips covering hers. I knew I'd shocked her with my boldness and I felt her tense, her hands coming up to my chest. I kept the kiss soft and sweet, taking her off guard.

"God, Sadie," I whispered before I crushed her to me, kissing her with a passion I'd never felt before for anyone. I couldn't get enough of her and I didn't want to let her go, even though I knew I had to. 

"No," Sadie said, somehow pushing me back, shock on her beautiful face. "I can't!"

She whirled and raced out the door without another word, leaving me standing there staring after her. I would have went after her but Chris stopped me, blocking my path.

"Let her go, Seb," Chris said firmly. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"I had to, Chris," I said quietly. "I know I shouldn't have done it – but I had to know if she felt what I was feeling - and she does."

"You're losing your touch, then because kissing girls shouldn't make them cry. She looked like she was pretty upset, Seb."

I sighed. "Let's go get my luggage, Chris. I'm ready to go now."

He looked at me for a long moment before we headed to the door. "I know you didn't ask my opinion, but I think you should forget about her and move on. She's married, Seb. Married – with kids. What happens if the paps get pics of you two together? They'll shred her reputation if they find out she's married."

"I know that, but I can't do that. Thanks for pulling this together at the last moment."

"Thank Josh. He says you owe him a bottle of the good stuff."

"It was worth it. Sadie didn't intend on taking pictures with me otherwise."

"You're kidding, right?" Chris said skeptically. 

"Nope. She took a couple of me and Liam, but wouldn't take any with me alone. I took this while she was sleeping." I handed him my phone and he looked at the picture intently while we walked before handing my phone back.

"Why's she sleeping cuddled up to you?" He said in a low voice. "I didn't get to talk to her very much, but that doesn't seem like something she'd do with her teenage son on the same flight. She didn't want anyone to see you hugging her earlier."

"She looked uncomfortable scrunched up in her seat, so I made it so she wouldn't wake up with a crick in her neck."

"What happened when she woke up?"

"She was upset and bolted – and Liam saw. He gave me 'the talk'."

"He seems like a good kid, trying to protect his mom. Is he blackmailing you?" 

"No, I tried bribing him with a family trip to New York. Be honest, Chris. What did you think of her?" I grabbed my two suitcases from the carousel, stacking them so I could pull them through the airport more easily.

"She seems nice – normal, even. She didn't try to pet me or anything. She's completely different from the kind of women you usually go for, Seb. I can't believe I gave her a panic attack. I still feel really bad about that."

"Yeah, she was fine until you picked her up. First time I've ever seen that happen – girls are always wanting you to pick them up like that."

"Tell me about it," he said with a groan. "But honestly, I think she likes you but that doesn't mean anything's gonna happen the way she's friendzoning you. Send me her number and I'll see what I can do, okay?" Chris said, falling into step beside me. "She's probably not mad at me."

"You didn't kiss her. She was actually pretty excited to meet you."

He snorted. "Yeah, it really looked like it the way you had to literally drag her over to me."

"She didn't know you were meeting us here," I said in her defense. "She recovered pretty quick."

"Just sayin' - my Ma woulda killed me if I'd sprung something like that on her."

"Your Ma woulda killed me for springing something like this on her, Chris! Your Ma scares me sometimes."

* * *

Sadie's POV

The shuttle ride to the hotel was filled with the buzzing voices of my son's friends. They were so pumped they'd gotten to meet both Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans that was all they were talking about. 

I couldn't focus on them when my mind was going 100 places at once; I just didn't know what to think right now. I thought I'd made it crystal clear to Sebastian that there couldn't be anything more than friendship between us. My hand moved under its own volition to touch my lips, remembering the feel of his kiss. In all the years I'd been married to Justin, I'd never once been tempted by another man - until now. And oh, how I was tempted!

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out, looking at the lockscreen to see a message from Sebastian.

Sebastian: Are you okay? I'm sorry Sadie.

I ignored the message, not knowing what to say to him right now because I wasn't okay. I was barely keeping it together - and if I started to cry, the kids would wonder why and Liam would be worried. Looking out the window, I watched the scenery and refused to look at the screen when it buzzed again. And again. And again.

"Mom? Mom? Can I take some pictures with your phone?" Liam asked with a huge grin on his face. "Mine's dead and so's Jake's."

"Yeah, sure," I said, handing it to him without thinking, absorbed in my thoughts and the view.

"Do you want to reply to these first?" Liam asked quietly a moment later. "He's sent at least five messages already, Mom."

"No, I'll text him later after we get to the hotel. I don't really want to talk to him right now."


	6. 6

Sebastian's POV

Sadie: What the hell do you think you're doing blowing up her phone? Liam 

I cursed to myself - Liam had Sadie's phone. At least I hadn't sent anything bad to her.  
Me: Apologizing. Is she okay?

Liam: No. Mom's upset about something. I borrowed her phone to take pics.

Me: Will you give Sadie back her phone? Chris is going to call her.

Liam: Dude. Can you tell him to wait like 30 minutes until we get to the hotel and checked in? There's 10 of us on this shuttle so it won't exactly be a private conversation. 

Liam: NM. Mom just said she doesn't want to talk to you right now but she'll text you later.

Me: Ok. Thanks Liam.

I told Chris what Liam had said as he pulled onto the U-bahn and he nodded. "Makes sense, Seb; Liam's a smart kid. I can wait to call her - it'll be better if I'm not trying to drive and talk on the phone at the same time; traffic's really bad today. What hotel are they staying at?"

"Holiday Inn Express."

"That's not far from my place. You're going to try and see her tonight, aren't you?" Chris asked, giving me a look.

"Yeah," I said, looking out the window. His tone made it clear that he thought it was a bad idea, but I didn't care. I needed to see her again and talk to her again. "They're only in Munich for a couple of days before they go on to the next country." 

We drove in silence for a couple more miles before Chris spoke again. "I'm just going to say it. I've never seen you like this before, Seb. Not with Margarita or any of the others. Sadie really got under your skin, didn't she? You've known her for less than half a day and you're already obsessing."

"I've been with a lot of women, but until now I didn't know how little they meant to me," I said, running my hands through my hair. "I know that sounds very cavalier of me, but this isn't just lust or infatuation; it's something more, and I'm going to find out what."

"So right woman, wrong time? She's fucking married, Seb." He was like a dog with a bone, unwilling ot give up on that detail and I understood why. It had destroyed him when he found out his parents were getting a divorce because his dad had found someone new. "You were pretty torn up when you found out Leighton was cheating on you. If Sadie's willing to cheat on her husband with you, she's not who you need."

I shifted uncomfortably, unable to deny the truth in his words. He was right – I'd been a wreck for months after I broke up with Leighton. He'd been there for me, tried to get me out of my apartment and doing stuff again even though I didn't appreciate his efforts at the time.

But Sadie was different - she'd been up front with me, telling me about her husband and kids back home and turning down the offers I'd made. Nothing Sadie said or did made me think she was the kind of woman who'd willingly cheat on her husband. 

"That's the thing," I said, coming to a realization. "I don't think she is willing to cheat on him, Chris. I mean, she knew who I was right away but didn't even try to flirt with me. She bantered a bit, but if I crossed the line, she'd leave for a bit – make some excuse about checking on Liam or needing to stretch her legs. But she always came back and talked to me. We talked for hours - just talked. I've never had a connection like that with anyone that quick before."

Chris sighed in frustration. "You're not getting the picture, Seb. Put yourself in her place: what if you were the one who was happily married with a couple of kids and a good life back home on a little vacation. Got it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"But then, you find out you're stuck next to someone that doesn't take 'no' for an answer. She doesn't just let you know she thinks you're hot, she just keeps touching you and paying too much attention to you -"

"I've got the picture, Chris. Too much - I didn't go stalker crazy on her or anything."

"What would you do on a 10 hour flight if you were next to that kind of bitch? You can't run far or hide for long, Seb. What choice did you give Sadie in any of this?"

"None," I admitted, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

"I know you manipulated her son - and me - into setting up the meet and greet because that would give you a little more time with her, didn't you."

I put my head in my hands as his words hit home. "God, I've been an ass!"

"Probably - it wouldn't be the first time," Chris said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Were you drunk? I can smell the booze on your breath."

"I wasn't drunk - not even close - but there's no probably about it - I was a total ass."

"Maybe, but you also made those kids' day – including Liam; he was pretty thrilled by the whole thing."

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" I asked in frustration. "Mine or hers?"

First Chris bawled me out for being too pushy and then he said I did good by making those kids happy just by both of us taking some pictures and signing some stuff. I didn't know what to think right now.

"Yours, buddy. Whatever this is between you, I don't understand it - but I don't have to. If you're meeting Sadie tonight, I'm going with."

"To keep me in line?"

"If that's what you need me to do," he said simply, meeting my eyes briefly. "I think you should offer to take her and Liam to dinner somewhere nice. Somewhere you'll be able to actually talk to her. Nothing fancy – she probably didn't pack a dress if she was planning on a 2 week tourist trip with teenagers."

"Is Scarlett in town yet?" I asked, a plan coming to mind.

"Yeah, she came in yesterday," Chris said, not paying attention to me at the moment as traffic got bad again as we pulled off the U-bahn. "She and Rose are staying at the Hilton like usual."

"Would you agree Sadie and Scarlett are about the same size?"

"Yeah, I think so, but Sadie's a lot taller than Scarlett." Chris narrowed his eyes at me in suspicion. "Sebastian, what are you thinking?"

"Give me a second." I sent a quick message off to Tom Holland and he replied instantly like he usually did.

"Tom said he's still here and I think he's about Liam's size. What if we took them to that place we went to with everyone the last time I was here? The food was great and it wasn't too fancy – just not a jeans and t-shirt kind of place."

"If you say something to either Tom or Scarlett they're going to want to come with," Chris pointed out with a sigh. "Honestly, I think that's a little overkill for an apology – and that place is fancy - it requires a suit and tie."

"I don't mind if they come," I said, deciding that having more people than just me and Chris might sway her in my favor. "It would be good for Liam to have someone closer to his own age to talk to."

"And you know that Scarlett loves that place," Chris nodded, seeing where I was going with this. I grinned, knowing he was on board. "You sell it to Sadie when you call her and I'll take care of the rest."

"You mean Josh will be making reservations and running outfits to them," Chris elaborated, a slow grin spreading across his face.

"I'm going to owe him more than just a bottle of whiskey, aren't I?"

Chris snorted. "You knew that before you asked. You're lucky he likes you, but as long as you pay up – he's all yours. I don't need him to do anything else for me today. When's Mark coming to town?" 

"He'll be here Wednesday. Were they done filming for today?" I asked him as we pulled into a parking spot in front of his apartment. "Anyone else might want to come with?"

"Yeah, we wrapped early. Things went well and the Russo's didn't need 25 takes of every shot to get what they wanted. They also needed to get the sets ready for the next series of shots tomorrow - i.e. major set overhaul. Robert's leaving town tonight – he's gotta get back home for something Susan wants him to go to and Mackie's family is here for the long weekend, so he'll probably say no."

"Adding Scarlett and Tom is probably enough of a surprise, isn't it?" I realized.

Chris gave me a pointed look. "Yeah Seb, it is. From what I saw, I don't think Sadie's real big on surprises."

* * *

Sadie's POV

I looked over at my buzzing phone, deciding if I should answer it or not. I knew it was probably Chris Evans, so I should just listen to his apology for making me freak out earlier and then I could go back to my normal routine. I also knew he had anxiety attacks himself, which was the deciding factor in hitting accept...and the fact that he'd already called twice.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Sadie?" Chris' smooth voice came on the line.

"It is. What did you need, Chris?"

"Listen, I just wanted to apologize for earlier," he said, making me smile because I'd been right. "I wouldn't have picked you up like that if I thought it would bother you. You know I wasn't going to drop you, right?"

"It's okay, Chris. You didn't know I was going to have an issue with it. And I didn't think you were going to really drop me, I just wasn't prepared for how fast you were and then you were moving around and I flipped out."

"I know it's none of my business," he said after a slight hesitation. "But it seems like an unusual thing to trigger a panic attack." 

I could tell he was curious, so I decided it wouldn't hurt to tell him why picking me up made me freak out so badly. "It probably is – I'm sure girls want you to pick them up all the time at the Comic-Cons."

"Yeah, they do," he laughed. 

"So when I was a freshman in high school, I used to get picked up and carried around a lot by the senior guys at my high school because they thought it was amusing to watch me freak out. I thought I'd gotten past that fear a long time ago, but I guess I haven't."

"Oh God. Shit, I feel even worse now, Sadie. You have to let me make this up to you!" he pleaded. 

I almost bought his act, but the timing was just too coincidental. "Sebastian put you up to this, didn't he?" I asked shrewdly, positive that I'd hit the nail on the head.

"No," he said quickly, but the tone of his voice was the same as my son's when he was lying.

"Christopher Robert Evans, don't fucking lie to me," I said firmly. I hated it when people lied to me because they were trying to manipulate me. "I'm not stupid."

"Ohh, the mom voice! You're good!" he said, not sounding upset that I'd called his bluff. "Okay, okay - you got me – Seb might have had something to do with it."

"Might? This has his name written all over it."

"He knows he messed up, Sadie."

"Chris, I'm not sure that's a good idea," I said, sitting down on the bed, pinching the bridge of my nose as my stress level skyrocketed again. "I don't know how else to say this-"

"Lay it on me."

"Fine, here goes: if Sebastian can't accept that we can only be friends, I shouldn't encourage him." 

I didn't trust myself around Sebastian; he tempted me in a way I'd never anticipated and I didn't know if I was strong enough to keep resisting him.

"Just come out to dinner with us tonight," Chris begged, his voice becoming deeper and more commanding - more Steve Rogers. "Liam can come too if he wants; just let us make this up to you, Sadie. Please?"

"God, Evans, not that voice," I said, closing my eyes and praying for strength. If it had been anyone else asking, I could have brushed them off without a second thought, but not Steve.

"I can do this all day, Sadie," he continued and I inwardly fangirled at Chris Evans saying that line to me in Steve's voice. If I'd thought it was hard to say 'no' to Bucky, it was even harder to say 'no' to Steve. "Will you please join us for dinner tonight? We'll take care of wardrobe and transportation – everything. If after tonight you decide you don't want anything more to do with us, you don't have to see us again," he promised.

I flopped back on my bed and sighed, hedging. "How'd you know my weakness?"

"Liam may have told Seb you had a thing for Steve," Chris said in his normal voice, sounding a little sheepish.

"That little shit! He's going to be grounded until he graduates," I said, only half joking.

"So you're coming? Both of you?" 

Damn him for sounding so freaking pleased with himself. I hesitated to agree when I didn't know what Liam had planned for tonight, but part of me knew he'd drop whatever it was to go to supper with Chris and Sebastian; it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"Let me talk to Liam quick and I'll call you back, okay?"

"Okay. You promise you'll call back?" he said in Steve's voice.

"I promise," I said, rolling my eyes at his blatant manipulation. "Bye, Chris."

I ended the call and went down the hall to Liam's room and knocked on his door. One of the other boys answered. "Is Liam still in here?"

"Yeah, hold on, Mrs W. - we're just changing to go to the pool." He turned around. "Li – your mom's here!" he said a little louder and I smiled at the conversation that followed.

"She came with us, Jack. Pretty sure you knew that," one of the other boys said, making me stifle a laugh.

"What I meant is she's at the door, smartass."

"Coming, Mom," Liam said as he came to the door in his swim trunks. "What's up?"

"Did you want to go to dinner tonight with Chris and Sebastian?" I asked, a very small part of me hoping he'd say no so I could be a coward.

"Yeah, sure. What time?"

"I don't know yet. I'll text you when I find out, so take your phone with you to the pool and check it periodically, okay?"

"Sure! See you later, Mom."

"Have fun, boys," I said as the rest of the boys came out into the hallway. I headed back to my room to call Chris back. I had the feeling he'd be calling me if I didn't call him shortly.

True enough, Chris answered right away. "Hello?"

"Hey Chris, it's Sadie. I just wanted to let you know we both can go tonight."

"That's great! You won't regret it, Sadie; I promise."

"Don't go making promises you have no power to keep, Evans." I said, thinking of the other man involved. "You knew I wouldn't be able to turn you down, didn't you?"

"I didn't think you'd make me work this hard for one little yes," he admitted, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I laughed at his admission. "It's good for you sometimes. Pretty sure you don't hear 'no' a lot anymore – Captain."

He only laughed. "I like you, Sadie. Will 7:30 work to pick you up at your hotel? My assistant made reservations for us at 8."

"Yeah, that gives me time to find something to wear and get cleaned up. What's the dress code at this place?"

"We've got you covered. What's your dress size and shoe size?"

I cringed. "Those are not questions I ever expected you to ask, Evans, but I'm assuming you need to know?"

"Yup. Men don't make good guessers, according to my mom."

"They don't, trust me. All right - I'll tell you but no judging."

"I think you look pretty damn fine, Sadie. The numbers don't matter to me – I just need to know if we guessed right."

"Oh, lordy! Even my husband doesn't have a clue what size I am, Evans! I wear between an 6 and a 10 depending on the brand. Shoes are 8.5 to 9, also depending on the kind of shoe."

"How tall are you? Scarlett says that makes a difference."

"5' 8 – and it does, especially for dresses. You have sisters, didn't they ever tell you that?"

"Nope. I don't get them clothes, just gift cards," he said with a laugh. "Okay, we'll get a couple options together for you to try on."

"Please tell me a woman picked them out," I begged, visions of past uncomfortable dresses haunting me. A night spent in one of those kind of dresses was torture, to say the least.

"A woman picked them out," he said dutifully. "You're the same size as Scarlett, so she's bringing over a couple dresses for you to try on."

"Wait - give me a moment to process that because you're talking about Scarlett Johannson, right?"

"Of course," he said, sounding slightly surprised. "How many Scarlett's do you know?"

I took the phone away from my ear and hit mute, taking a deep breath and running my hands through my hair. This was all a little surreal – going out to dinner with all my favorite actors. I could hear Chris' voice coming from the phone.

"Sadie? Sadie are you okay?" I picked it up and took off mute.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay," I said, exhaling loudly. "I just needed a minute. It's all a little much, Chris. I'm a little jet lagged and overwhelmed right now."

"Believe me, I understand," he said, and I could hear the sincerity in his tone. "You're still coming, right?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Right, I said we'd come." I licked my lips before continuing. "What should Liam wear? Polo shirt and khakis?"

"Well, actually we have him covered, too. He's about the same size as Tom."

"Chris, please tell me you mean Holland and not Hiddleston, because Hiddles is taller than you. No way Liam would fit in his clothes."

"Yes, Tom Holland, Sadie." I heard another man talking in the background, but it wasn't Sebastian. Tom must be at Chris' place, too. "What size pants and dress shirt does Liam wear?"

"28 x 32 for pants. He wears a medium shirt generally. Do I need to feed Liam beforehand or will he be able to eat there?"

"No, he can eat there. I had my assistant check and they have a detailed allergy menu and the portions are decently sized - not starving teenager sized, but decent."

"Okay. Is that everything you need to know?"

"For now. Scarlett says she and her daughter Rose are coming by in two hours. Why so early?" I didn't think that question was directed at me because I could hear a woman's voice in the background before Chris came back on the line. "Okay, I get it, woman stuff. What room are you in?"

"345, Holiday Inn Express." 

"Okay. See you tonight."

"Looking forward to it," I said, hanging up. I threw myself back on the bed, absorbing everything that had just happened and trying not to freak out.


	7. 7

Sebastian's POV

I kept my fingers crossed the whole conversation until Chris started getting her sizes. Scarlett, Tom and Rose had come over to Chris' place so we could catch up before dinner tonight. They'd both been intrigued when I'd mentioned Sadie and Liam and had agreed to my plan.

"For now. Scarlett says she and her daughter Rose are coming by in two hours. Why so early?" Chris said, turning to her, a confused expression. 

She gave him a pointed look that said 'don't argue with me' and said, "Chris, giving her an hour to get ready for a night out after a transatlantic flight isn't reasonable. I need two hours."

"Okay, I get it - woman stuff," Chris said, holding up one hand in defeat. "What room are you in? Okay. See you tonight." He hung up and looked over at me. "Room 345 and they're both coming."

I sat back in relief, exhaling loudly as a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was getting another chance to see her again.

"Yes!" Scarlett said, pinching Chris' cheeks. "Who can say 'no' to the Steve voice? I know I can't."

"That's because he's supposed to boss you around, Natasha," I said with a grin.

"Watch it Bucky Bear or I'll make you babysit Rose," Scarlett threatened.

"I'm great with babies," I said with a grin, trying to get a rise out of Scarlett. She knew I liked playing with Rose now that she wasn't so tiny - and she was finally old enough to be interesting.

"Shes not a baby, Seb – she's a toddler – and she likes Chris better than you," Tom said. "Even I know that."

"That's because she sees him more than her biological dad," I said, earning myself a glare from Scarlett - she knew my opinion of Rose's dad. I hadn't liked Scarlett's husband from day one, but it was her life, not mine - and she didn't want to hear my opinions sometimes.

"Tom, do you think Liam can borrow one of your suits?" Scarlett said, ignoring me.

"Yeah, sure. No problem – I learned - I brought a couple with this time. Wait - does that mean I can come too?"

"Why not?" I said. "Josh made reservations for six. Didn't think you intended to miss out, but if you're too busy..."

"No way! I get to meet them?" Tom said, perking up.

"Are you fangirling over Sebby's crush?" Scarlett said with a laugh, sharing a look with me. I felt myself flush under her pointed gaze, which only made her smile wider.

"What? No!" Tom exclaimed. "You get to meet them before I do, Scarlett."

  

* * *

Sadie's POV

I opened my room door to shoo out the gaggle of girls that had heard I was going out to dinner with Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans tonight. They'd already determined that the dresses they'd brought with weren't going to fit me, but I thanked them anyways. I finally managed to nicely kick them all out, saying I needed to get into the shower so I could do my hair. I hadn't showered since yesterday and needed one desperately. 

I'd just stepped out of the shower when I heard a knock on my door. Wrapping the towel around myself, I checked the peephole to see a petite, blonde Scarlett Johansson holding a toddler. I quickly unbolted the door and let her in, one hand on my towel.

"Hey, I'm Sadie. Sorry, I hope you weren't out there for long. I must've been in the shower longer than I thought."

"Hello Sadie, I'm Scarlett - and we just got here now. It's nice to meet you; this is my daughter Rose." She turned to indicate one of the hotel employees should enter. "Just put them on the bed, please." The young man carried in two suitcases and set them on the bed before tipping his hat to us on the way out.

"Hello Rose. Nice to meet you."

"Bonsoir Sadie. You have a fun name to say. Sadie Saaayyydeeee." She ran over and jumped on the bed, saying my name over and over again.

"Merci, Rose," I said, remembering the little bit of French I knew. "Umm, go ahead and make yourself at home, Scarlett. I'm going to put on my pj's for now so I can finish doing my hair and makeup."

"Sounds good."

I ducked into the bathroom and pulled on the cute shorts and racerback tanktop that I normally wore to bed when I traveled. Rose was laying on the bed, watching a cartoon on TV and ignoring us.

"So how fancy of a place are we going to? I know even less than you do about all of this, by the way." I pulled my brush through my hair while I talked.

"Formal," she said with a grin, opening the suitcases. "You agreed not knowing any details? You must enjoy a little adventure." She pulled out three dresses and hung them up on the closet door.

"I'd say so," I laughed. "Nothing says adventure like 7 countries in 14 days with 28 teenagers – right?" I set my brush down on the dresser. "So what's this really all about? You, the wardrobe – the whole shebang? Formal dinner seems a little much for an apology...honestly, McDonald's would have been fine with me."

She burst out laughing. "Now I see why Seb likes you."

"He shouldn't," I said, the smile falling from my face. "I shouldn't have agreed to this. I'm so sorry you came over here for nothing, Scarlett, but I really shouldn't go tonight." 

I had agreed to this craziness in a moment of weakness, but my brain was working again now and I was feeling guilty for wanting to see Sebastian again. It's not like Chris knew I'd freak out over being picked up and carried around, but he put me down right away and apologized, so he didn't really need to take me out to dinner tonight.

"I didn't figure you for a chicken, Sadie," Scarlett said, giving me a measuring look. She didn't look like she planned on leaving any time soon, either.

"I'm not usually, it's just -" I gestured helplessly with my hands, not knowing what to say. I turned away from her and went to put my brush where it belonged.

"You're scared," she said with a small smile.

"I'm scared," I agreed, exhaling loudly. "He...kissed me...today, at the airport," I admitted, my cheeks flushing. "It wasn't a friendly peck, either – trust me, I do know the difference. He really shouldn't have done that."

"No, he shouldn't – and he knows that."

"Does he?" I asked, meeting her eyes. "Does he honestly know that? Because I'm not convinced he does. Why else would he ask Chris to arrange this and don't tell me he didn't."

"You're something different than what he's used to. He's promised to be on his best behavior tonight, which is why Chris, Tom and I are also going. You won't be alone with Seb tonight."

"Do you believe him?"

"Yes," she said firmly, but she broke eye contact first, so I didn't know what to make of that. She was hard for me to read because I didn't know her very well and I wasn't sure exactly what her agenda was when it came to me. 

"I'm supposed to tell you I have a suit for your son as well," she said, avoiding the question. "And Tom Holland is looking forward to meeting you both - if you're still going, that is. You don't have to if you don't want to, Sadie."

"Thanks," I said, nodding. I sat down on the bed with a groan. "Liam would kill me if I said we were skipping out now. Tom's one of his favorite actors."

"You won't regret it, Sadie."

"I'm regretting it already, Scarlett. Liam doesn't know it's a dress up place – yet. I'll tell him to come get his clothes in an hour and a half," I said, picking up my phone. "Not that it'll take me that long to get ready. I assume you wanted to make sure we'd show and you wanted time to decide if I had ulterior motives or not."

"Something like that – I wanted the chance to meet you without Seb around, honestly. I love him like a brother, but I'm not blind to his faults."

"I have plenty of those myself," I said, turning my attention back to the mirror. "Hair up or down?"

"Up, if you brought pins."

"With as much hair as I have, of course I brought pins with." I rummaged through my bag, finding the container of pins and the hair products I'd bought at the little store on the corner earlier. I couldn't bring them from home because bottles that small didn't do me any good. "Fire away – I know you're dying to grill me."

She grinned widely. "I do love a good gossip session. So you just met Seb today?"

"This morning on the plane. He sat next to me from La Guardia to Munich."

"What did you think of him?"

"Next question."

"You need to answer this one first."

I scrunched mousse into my hair, piling it on my head and pinning it in place as I talked. "For the record, that's kind of a loaded question. I knew who he was before we took off; I thought he seemed nice. We got to talking."

"You hit it off, didn't you?"

I nodded. "We talked for hours. I didn't think anything of it until he offered to fly me to New York for a week to hang out with him and alarm bells are going off in my head. I told him I'd think about it."

"That's just another way to say 'no,' Sadie. You know that as well as I do. It's a soft 'no,' but it still means there's a chance."

I nodded. "He offered again, this time for my whole family – including my husband – to come."

"Better, but I think I see why you're spooked."

"Wouldn't you be?" I checked my handiwork, making sure it would stay before taking my hands off it.

"I heard he arranged for a meet and greet with the rest of your tour group. That isn't something Seb normally does – actually, I don't think he's ever done that. Why wouldn't you take pics with him?"

"I don't expect you to understand, Scarlett. Your name is synonymous with beautiful."

"You don't like how you look in photographs," she guessed after studying me for a long moment.

I nodded reluctantly. "Ask Liam, he knows I'll take pictures, I just don't care to be in them."

"You're very pretty, Sadie. I thought you looked great in the couple of pics you took with the guys today."

"Thanks," I said, deciding she really was sincere about her observation.

"Let's see which dress works best on you. I picked the ones that I thought would work with your height since you're so much taller than I am. At least I didn't have to go off of the guys' recollection of how tall you are or what size they thought you might be."

 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

I took Sadie's hand and tucked it into the crook of my arm as we walked out of the restaurant, covering it with my own. Tom and Liam were talking a mile a minute behind us, having become fast friends. Chris and Scarlett were the last ones out the door. 

"Thank you, Sebastian," Sadie said when we got outside, walking to the valet stand. "This was a lot of fun tonight."

I handed the man my ticket so he could bring the car up, but it was a nice night. Chilly, but calm. "I'm just so glad you came, Sadie. I know that we can't be more than friends, but that doesn't change how I feel about you."

"Sebastian -" she said warningly. I sighed heavily and brought her hand to my lips, kissing her fingers gently and wishing I could actually kiss her again.

"I know, Sadie. I know." She took her hand back and shook her head at me with the ghost of a smile flitting at the corners of her lips. "What time are you heading out tomorrow morning?"

"Bus leaves at 7."

"Do you want to meet for breakfast? There's a nice little cafe around the corner from the hotel."

"Sure – as long as it's better than powdered eggs and bad coffee," she said with a smile. "That's what we get at the hotel, I'm sure."

We looked away from each other as the sound of screeching tires reached our ears. We heard the shots and breaking glass, but it didn't sink in until we saw the gun firing from the window of the car. I tried to get Sadie to go down, but she moved faster than I anticipated, not dropping to the ground like I expected, instead shoving a frozen Liam hard into Tom, whose momentum pushed Scarlett into Chris, getting them all literally in a row, and none of them standing upright. 

I tried again to pull her down, but she resisted, adrenaline giving her strength. She took a step to the side as car passed us, pulling me with her while blocking both me and Liam from harm with her own body. I caught her against me as her body jerked, and I knew she'd been hit. She collapsed into me with a groan and I hugged her to me.

"Sadie?" I asked. I heard people yelling in the background and everything became a blur. 

"Mom!" Liam screamed, trying to get to her.

"Stay with me, Sadie – I've got you," I said as I felt a sticky warmth under my hands. 

"Liam?" she asked, and I knew what she wanted to know. 

"He's okay. You saved him, Sadie." Her eyes closed and her body went limp.

A man came up to me just then. :I'm a doctor. Can you lay her down?: he said in German.

:Can you help her? She's been shot.:

:Yes. In the back?:

He fired orders at me and I followed them without question. Sadie's blood covered my hands as I put pressure on one of her wounds and tears streamed down Liam's face as he did the same on another. She'd been shot three times in the back, but thanks to her quick reaction, no one else had been hurt.

I translated for Liam, and between us we answered the doctor's questions. When the ambulance arrived and the paramedics took over – ordering us out of the way – I pulled him into my arms, just hugging him tight. He rested his head on my shoulder as we watched them work and I patted him on the back soothingly.

"You okay, kid?" I asked when he let go of me.

"Mom...Mom pushed me out of the way, Seb. Why'd she do that?"

"Because she's your mom," I said, knowing he didn't really understand her need to protect him, but I did because I'd felt that way about her. "She did what she had to - to protect you. Liam, she saved all of our lives tonight. They would have hit both Chris and me otherwise - we weren't going to get down low enough - we're taller than you and Tom."

"Really? Mom just saved the Avengers?"

"Yeah, she did." Chris came up to us then and I let go of the boy. "Chris, will you take Liam with you to the hospital?"

"Yeah, sure. How you holding up?" Chris asked him, putting an arm around the teen's shoulders. 

Liam sniffed and rubbed his eyes with his suit coat sleeve, his hands covered in Sadie's blood. "I don't know what to think, Chris. Why did this happen?"

"I don't know, buddy," he said, his eyes anguished. "I just don't know." 

"I'm going to ride with her, okay Liam?" I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay," he sniffed. "I'd go, but they don't speak English and I don't know enough German to answer their questions."

"I know. I'll see you there," I said, walking over to the ambulance as they finished loading her. :I'm going with her, sir. The others will meet us there.:

:Are you her husband?: the paramedic asked as he indicated where I should stand.

:No, I wish: I said with a grin. :She's my best friend; is she going to be okay?:

:She's very lucky – nothing vital was hit, but she's lost a lot of blood. They'll take her straight into surgery to remove the bullets when we get there.:

I nodded, staring at her still, pale form, immeasurably relieved that she wasn't dying. I don't think I could handle finding her only to lose her hours later.

When we got to the hospital, they rushed Sadie into surgery while I was directed to the admitting desk. The lady at the desk looked with revulsion at my blood covered hands and politely indicated a bathroom where I could wash up, telling me the paperwork I needed to fill out would be on the clipboard she set aside. 

I took off my suit jacket and scrubbed at my hands, the water running red for a long time. I stared at myself in the mirror, the sight of Sadie's blood on the starched white shirt making my stomach churn. I fought back the nausea and splashed water on my face, washing the clammy sweat from it. 

I tore off my white dress shirt and threw it away before the sight made me actually throw up. My undershirt had some blood on it as well, but it wasn't nearly as bad as my dress shirt had been. I put my jacket back on, feeling a little better now that I couldn't see her blood on me anymore. 

Making my way back to the admitting desk, I took the clipboard the woman had left for me and filled out the forms as best as I could, putting myself down as both the primary contact and taking responsibility for Sadie's medical bills. It was the least I could do for her considering she'd just saved my life. 

* *

"Sorry it took us so long," Scarlett said, pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek. "Are you all right?"

"Not until I know she's okay," I said roughly, letting go of her.

"We had to fill out the police report and then lose the reporters," Tom added, his arm around Liam. Liam moved towards me and I put my arms around him, looking over at Chris.

"The paps were already there, Seb," Chris said. "I called the Russos to let them know what happened and the studio is sending someone here."

"Shit," I said. "What'd they say?"

"I'll tell you in a little bit. Where's Sadie?" 

"Seb, is Mom okay?" Liam said, his voice shaky.

"I'm sure she is. They've had her in surgery since we got here, and that was probably 45 minutes ago. They'll let us know as soon as she's out."

"The Police said they caught it all on film between traffic cams and security footage. They were pursuing the shooter and it sounded like they caught them. The studio's going to be pressing charges as well."

"Good."

A nurse approached us just then, one of the few that spoke good English. "Good evening. I've been asked to take you all to a private waiting room; we do have one that doesn't have windows. The reporters have already started calling and asking for information."

"What are you telling them?" Chris asked before I could.

"I was only told that nothing about this situation is being released to the public at this time," the woman said. "This way, please."


	8. 8

Sadie's POV

I heard an annoying beeping before I could manage to pry open my eyes. I looked up at an institutional looking ceiling, white walls and floors; cold, sterile surfaces. I was in a hospital – apparently they were the same in Europe as they were back home. 

It took me a little bit to remember what happened, my memory hazy. I'd been shot in the back when we were leaving the restaurant, shielding my son from harm. I moved my fingers and toes, relief flooding me when I could feel them moving. Someone was holding my hand and I turned my head to see who it was because the hand was too large to be Liam's.

"Hey doll," a husky voice said. "You're finally awake." I made my eyes focus on the handsome, dark haired man sitting next to my bed. He stroked my face lightly, his steel blue eyes staring into mine. 

"Who are you?" I asked, my voice raspy and erratic. He blinked, not the reaction he was expecting, I decided.

"Sadie, it's me - Sebastian Stan."

"Sebastian?" I croaked, clearing my throat. I suddenly remembered that he'd been there as well.

"How're you feeling?" he asked as he kissed my hand, his eyes holding mine.

"Like shit," I said, wincing as something pulled when I breathed too deeply. "Where's Liam? Is he all right?"

"Shh. Liam's over there on the chair. He's fine, just worn out; he fell asleep a little bit ago waiting for you to wake up. You were in surgery for about an hour."

"You okay?" I asked as my eyes roamed over his body, having noticed the blood on his shirt but not seeing any evidence of bandages on him.

"I am now," Sebastian said, leaning down and kissing me gently, his lips warm and tasting of coffee. My brain wasn't functioning, and I might have stopped breathing for a moment.

"Don't ever do that to me again, Sadie," he growled, his voice breaking as a tear ran down his face. "Please?"

"Sebastian," I whispered as I slowly reached up and wiped it away, resting my hand on his scruffy cheek. I couldn't stand to see him so upset - it made my heart ache. He covered my hand with his own and kissed my palm. 

"I thought I lost you just when I'd finally found you," he said, claiming my lips again, and I didn't think, just let my lips move with his because damn, the man could kiss. I wasn't really sure if I remembered how to breathe right now. If this was his way of saying everything words couldn't, I understood completely. "Sadie, you scared the hell out of me; don't you even think of doing that to me ever again," Sebastian whispered brokenly, stroking my face as his eyes held mine. 

"Seb – you're making me cry," a dry female voice said. 

"If that's how we're saying thank you, Scarlett, Tom's going to be a little surprised," a familiar male voice said and I suddenly placed the voices. Shit, Chris and Scarlett were here, too; I felt my face burning with embarrassment.

Sebastian kissed me once more before letting go of me, a smirk on his face as he replied, "Fuck off, Evans."

"Language, Boo Bear," Chris retorted, but it was more teasing than anything. 

I stifled a laugh, my body protesting the sudden movement. "Oww, don't make me laugh, Chris."

"Sorry Sadie," Chris said, eyes twinkling as he approached. 

Chris pulled Sebastian into a man hug, saying something quietly in his ear. Sebastian hugged him harder and from their body language, I could tell they were both more than a little relieved I was awake. He let go of Sebastian and came over to me, leaning over and kissing my forehead. 

"Thanks for saving Seb for me," he murmured, meeting my eyes and smiling. "I owe you one."

"You're welcome," I managed to squeak out.

Oh god, he knew exactly what he was doing to me - and was enjoying every moment of it. 

"Don't you dare, Evans," I said weakly, my heart pounding. Shit, I was pretty sure I was wearing a heart monitor right now, so everyone would see how he affected me. "Don't you fucking dare." I looked over at Scarlett, mouthing 'save me,' but she only laughed quietly and shook her head.

 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

I let Scarlett pull me into a hug, resting her head on my chest as we heard Sadie attempting to threaten Chris. Most of his fans would never pass up a kiss from him, but my girl, she had spunk.

"I like her Seb," Scarlett said just for my ears, and I could see the smile on her face. 

I saw the numbers for her heart monitor spike as Chris leaned in again, but I didn't look away. He had every right to thank her, too. It hadn't been only me she'd shielded.

"Thank you for saving me, Sadie," he said as she turned at the last second and he kissed her cheek before straightening up. 

"Seb still wins, Chris," Scarlett said with a grin. "By about 10 bpm."

"I'm wearing a heart monitor, aren't I?" Sadie asked, covering her face with her hand. 

"Yup," Chris said. "I bet Scarlett I could get it to go higher than when you were kissing Seb."

"I don't even know what to say to that, Evans," Sadie said. "If I could reach you and if I didn't think it would hurt me more than you, I'd slug you."

"Sadie – you're awake! Chris, why's Sadie threatening you?" Tom asked, coming in with coffee for us. "What did I miss?"

"Everything," Scarlett said as Chris burst out laughing. "I'll tell you later."

"I can't believe Liam slept through all that," Sadie said in disbelief. "Tom, can you try to wake him? I'd like to talk to him and then he needs to get back to the hotel. We were supposed to be back hours ago."

"Sure, Sadie," Tom said cheerfully. "You want him to go with the tour group tomorrow, don't you?"

"I'd hate to have him miss out. That's the whole reason we're in Europe, after all." She looked over at Scarlett, a sheepish expression on her face. "Sorry I ruined your dress, Scarlett."

"Don't worry about it. Gives me an excuse to buy a couple new ones," she said with a smile. "Besides, it looked better on you."

"Mom?" Liam said sleepily, getting to his feet. He came over and sat next to her on the bed, taking her hand in his and rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "How are you?"

"I'll be okay, honey. Did you talk to Dad?"

"Not since before dinner. I didn't want to call until I knew what was happening. I still don't know what to tell him."

"I'll call him in a little bit then. If someone will take you back to the hotel, I want you to go with the group tomorrow, okay?"

"But Mom," he said, looking upset. "I can stay here with you."

"No arguing, Liam. I've already seen everywhere you're going tomorrow and I need to find out how soon they'll release me. Maybe by the time you get back to the hotel I'll be there."

"Sadie, we'll get you to the group no matter what day it is," Chris said. "Don't try to overdo it, okay?" 

"I'm tougher than you think," she said. 

"Thank God," I whispered, and I knew Scarlett heard me. She patted my chest and let go of me to move closer to Sadie.

"Does anyone know what happened to my purse and coat?"

"I've got your purse in a plastic bag the car," Chris said. "But you're going to need a new one. It's got your blood all over it, Sadie."

"We threw your coat away after I emptied the pockets and Liam double checked it," Scarlett said. "Sorry, Sadie, but it was completely ruined – you probably don't remember, but they cut it off you when the ambulance got there."

"Here's your phone, Mom. It was in your coat," Liam said, handing it to her. "I took the case apart and cleaned it off. It seemed like it worked okay."

"Thanks, honey. When you get to the hotel, could you get some clothes together for me? I'm pretty sure they probably cut everything off me earlier."

"They did," I confirmed. "When they took you in for surgery. I told them to throw it all away."

She sighed. "Good thing I packed sweatshirts."

"I'll find you something to wear, Mom," Liam said. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay. You better get going; you have to be ready to leave the hotel by 7." He leaned down and gave her a hug, and she held him tight. "Call me in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." 

"Scarlett, do you want to ride with us?" Tom asked. "I can drop you off on the way to Liam's hotel."

"Yeah, sure; I suppose since you could since you're going right by my hotel anyway," Scarlett said. "Chris, I need my bags from your trunk."

"Okay. I'll come down with you," Chris said.

"You should probably pick the clothes Scarlett," Liam said to her. "I suck at that stuff."

"Yes, you do," Sadie said with a smile. "I'll need shoes, too, please."

"I'll make sure you get everything you need," Scarlet said, sharing a look with Sadie. "Don't worry about it."

"Bye Mom," Liam said as he turned to go.

As soon as everyone left, I walked back over to Sadie and sat on the bed beside her.

* * *

Sadie's POV

"You should go home and get some sleep, Sebastian," I said, putting my hand on his knee. He covered it with his own, folding his long fingers around my hand.

"I'm not leaving you Sadie," Sebastian said with a shake of his head. "You should get some sleep yourself; you look tired."

"I am tired," I admitted as I yawned. "Is the doctor coming in tonight?"

"Probably not or he would have been here by now."

"In that case, I have a phone call to make before Justin hears about this from Liam." I met Sebastian's anguished blue eyes, reminding him again that I was married. "And I don't think it's going to be a short one."

"What are you going to tell him?" he asked, linking fingers with me, wanting to know if I was going to tell my husband about kissing him.

"Everything," I shook my head in disbelief. "Everything. We don't keep secrets from each other, Sebastian - and I'm not going to start now."

"I wish -"

"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride," I said, reciting something I'd heard many times before and cutting him off before he could say something he shouldn't. "Sebastian, this doesn't change anything." I cleared my throat and looked away from him, blinking rapidly.

"Sadie," he whispered brokenly. "I know that; I just don't want to lose you."

"I'm sorry, Sebastian, but I was never yours to lose." Hot tears rolled down my face, my heart ached so badly right now I couldn't breathe properly.

Sebastian slowly leaned in, wiping the tears away and kissing my forehead. "No, I'm sorry, Sadie. If friends is all we can be, I'll take it - but it won't change how I feel about you."

"You need to go, Sebastian," I said, refusing to continue this conversation right now. "I really do need to make this call."

He kissed my temple, resting his forehead on mine. "I suppose I should at least go change clothes," he said. "And shower."

"Yes, you should. It's a little unsettling to see my blood on your clothes, you know."

"Doll, you have no idea. The lady at the desk wouldn't give me the admission papers until I washed your blood from my hands."

"What happened...after? I don't remember much."

"I caught you before you could fall; a doctor came up and told me and Liam what to do."

"Your quick thinking saved all of us, Sadie," Chris said, coming back in. "When you pushed Liam into Tom, you started a domino effect. We were all either below the shots or directly behind you."

"You moved so fast," Sebastian said, shaking his head. "I was trying to get you down but you had your own ideas."

"I just knew I needed Liam to be safe," I explained. 

"Sadie, you physically dragged me so I'd be shielded by you," Sebastian said, his voice rough. "Liam was still on the ground, along with Tom."

"A lot of people saw what happened," Chris said. "It's all over the news already. I wouldn't be surprised if it made today's paper."

"Shit. There goes my anonymity," I said, blinking. "Do they know my name?"

"Yes, it was in the police report. It gets worse, Sadie. You were spotted with Seb in the airport earlier yesterday, too," Chris said, handing me his phone. "Josh texted me to tell me about it."

I looked at the picture of Sebastian and I walking through the airport, his hand on my back. We were smiling at each other – the perfect picture of two people in love. I handed it back to Chris and laid my head back, closing my eyes in denial.

"Is this already going around back home?"

"Yes," Sebastian said. "Chris, Tom, Scarlett and I were tagged on Instagram and Twitter right away, so anyone that follows us knows already."

"The studio is already on damage control," Chris said. "Joe and Anthony Russo are on their way here. I called them as soon as we got done talking to the police - they like to be kept in the loop about things like this."

I picked up my phone and opened Instagram, fearing the worst. My feed had exploded...and I'd been tagged, too. I dropped my phone and covered my face with my shaking hands, actively panicking now.

"Breathe, Sadie," Sebastian said, rubbing my arms gently. "Just take a deep breath, okay?"

"I can't!" I gasped, my lungs resisting and pain shooting through me. "I can't!"

"Chris, find a nurse," he ordered. "Sadie, eyes on me, okay? It'll be okay, I promise."


	9. 9

Sebastian's POV

By the time the nurse came in with a sedative, I'd managed to get Sadie to calm down a little bit. She was still panicking, but she could breathe now. Whatever they gave her kicked in quickly, so by the time Chris brought the Russo's in, she was almost back to normal. 

Sadie was sitting up and had her arms around my torso, resting her head on my shoulder. I was pulling her hairpins out because she'd said they were bothering her and it had hurt her too bad when she'd tried to get her arms that high.

"How many of these things did you use, doll?" I asked, setting another hairpin on the pile and working my fingers through her silky mane.

"A lot. I have a lot of hair," she murmured, her eyes closed.

"I noticed," I said with a grin. "I didn't know your hair was this curly."

"Now you do. By the time you'd met me, I'd put it up for a while and that makes it less curly."

"The Russo's are here to meet you, Sadie," I said, pulling the last couple pins out. "I think that's all of them." 

"Thank you," she sighed. "That feels so much better." 

I saw the speculative look the directors traded as they took in the domestic scene before them. I never pretended to know what they were thinking, but I did know they'd been actively looking for an on-screen love interest for me for a while now since Steve was supposed to connect with Sharon. 

The problem was that they just hadn't found anyone that screen-tested well enough yet with me as Bucky to make it seem believable. The last two had left Joe and Anthony in stitches – they said it looked like I'd wanted to punch one of the girls and the other just wasn't that into me when I got into character. Bucky wasn't much of a people person anymore.

I helped Sadie lay back down, seeing her wince as her muscles protested. She looked tired but still beautiful, her hair a riot of curls around her face. 

"Hey – I'm Sadie," she said, smiling slightly. "I'm a big fan of your work, by the way."

"Hello Sadie. I'm Joe and this is Anthony. It's a pleasure to meet you. I hear you singlehandedly saved the Avengers tonight."

"She did," I said, smiling at her, watching her face flush at the praise. "We were just discussing what would happen next before you guys got here."

"Well," Joe said, "that's up to you, Sadie. We understand you're not used to this much attention, but you'll need to make a couple appearances soon. The Today Show, GMA, Jimmy, Ellen and several of the European syndicates have already approached us looking for interviews. Since you've only been seen with the Avengers and Sebastian, it's been speculated that you're a new actress coming in for a minor role in Civil War or Avengers 4."

"But I'm not," Sadie protested. "I just met Sebastian this morning on the flight here."

"Interesting," Anthony said, sharing a look with Joe. "Seb, you know that role we've been trying to fill?"

"Yes, and I think she'd be perfect for it," I said with a grin. 

I looked over at Chris, who nodded, a smile spreading over his face when he realized what I was talking about. This could be the answer to my prayers – a way to be close to her without crossing her lines.

"I completely agree, Anthony. She's who we've been looking for," Chris said, looking at Sadie.

"Sebastian, what're you talking about?" Sadie asked, a puzzled expression on her face. It was clear she had no idea what we were going to suggest.

"Sadie, what if I told you we've been looking for someone to fill a part in the movie we're filming right now," I said, holding her eyes with mine. "A regular, ordinary woman that finds Bucky, helps him deal with his past and likes him for who he is."

"I don't know, Sebastian. I've never acted in anything other than the high school play - and that's been almost 20 years ago now."

"That's the beauty of it, doll. This is meant for someone like you. You're smart, funny and kind and Bucky needs that – especially with all the crazy shit he's already had to deal with since Winter Soldier."

She looked up at Chris, who nodded.

"He's right, Sadie. I've watched him do screen tests with at least a half dozen women for this roll. If I looked at today like a screen test, I'd say you nailed it."

"So this isn't something you all just made up right now?" she asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"You're right, she's perfect!" Joe said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Sadie, if you want the part, it's yours."

"Honestly, I didn't think we'd ever find anyone to fill it and we were going to have to rewrite the whole script," Anthony said, laying it on a little thick. 

She looked at me for a long moment. "Sebastian, do you want me to take this part?"

"Yes," I said, taking her hand in mine. "But this is a decision you have to make, Sadie. It means you'll need to come back to Europe for filming and you'll be away from home for a while."

"How long's a while?" she said. "I'd have to let work know so I could get time off."

"Probably about two months all together," Joe said. "You wouldn't need to be on set the whole time; we'd give you set dates we'd need you for, of course."

"Chris, what do you think?"

"Yes," Chris said without even hesitating. "I think you should do it, Sadie. It's so perfect for you."

"Okay, I'll do it," she said. "As long as I can finish this tour with my son. How soon would you need me?"

"Not a problem. We need you healed up, too," Joe said. "This also lets us fully control the media surrounding this accident."

"The earliest we'd need you would be next month for a couple days. We'll get everything together and bring a contract by for you to sign," Anthony finished.

"This is probably a dumb question, but do I need an agent? I didn't exactly plan on any of this."

"It would probably be a good idea," Anthony said. "I'm sure Chris and Seb can put you in touch with someone."

"We will," Chris promised. "About the European syndicates – do they have to be in person or can we remote in from the set? I know you gave us all today off, and we'll need to get Sadie some clothes yet."

"If she gets out later today, we'll ask them to pre-record and remote in from our set," Joe said. "You'll all have to appear on the Today Show, GMA, Jimmy and Ellen in person, though. I'll push for when Sadie's healed and back in the States so we don't have to stop shooting for very long."

"What about Liam?" Sadie asked. "What should I tell him?"

"How old is he?"

"15."

"Can he keep a secret? We'll have to just let people speculate until we make the official announcement through Marvel, which might take a couple days. We'll call Kevin first thing in the morning and get his blessing."

She thought for a moment and shook her head. "Not one like this - and not from his best friend, who's along with him on the trip. I'll wait until the announcement."

"Your son will need to do the American talk shows when you get back to the States - they were very keen on him - but it'll be fine if he's not there for the other interviews."

"We're going to get someone started on dealing with the press," Joe said, "Now that this has been decided; welcome to Marvel, Sadie." They stood up and held their hands out for her to shake them, so I let go of her hand.

"Thank you, Joe, Anthony. I look forward to it," Sadie said, looking a little dazed. 

"Chris, Seb, we'll text you details when we get this sorted out," Joe said as they left. 

"Bye," I said, looking back over to Sadie. "Guess what doll? You're gonna come visit me in New York after all," I said with a grin.

"I guess I am. So tell me one thing, Sebastian Stan."

"One thing," I replied with a grin, making Chris crack up and grab his pec. "Sorry, Sadie. I couldn't resist."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "I'd laugh if it didn't hurt so damn bad right now. So this part I just accepted, is it to be Bucky's on screen love interest?"

"Maybe - if that's the direction Joe and Anthony want it to go. Otherwise, it's friends with the possibility of more after everything settles down. We won't know for sure until we're on set that day since they don't really give us our scripts much ahead of time."

"Chris, is he telling the truth?" Sadie asked, looking over at him, clearly doubting me.

"Yes, your character's most likely going to be Bucky's love interest. The only reason there are two options is because we couldn't find anyone with the right kind of chemistry with Seb when he went into character. Bucky's kind of a hard character to relate to and they were all either too into Seb or not enough into Bucky. No middle ground."

"Or too damn young," I put in with a shudder. "That last one made me feel like a creepy old dude hitting on a college girl. Ugg!"

"Still doesn't change anything between us, Sebastian," Sadie said.

"Just means I get to see you more often," I said with a smile.

"You'll get sick of me soon enough," she said.

"Never; welcome to the Avengers, Sadie," I said with a grin. "I can't wait until you meet Downy, Renner, Mackie and Lizzie."

"I second that," Chris said, his grin mischievous. "Or Samuel, Ruffalo and Chris Hemsworth."

"Oh shit, this is really happening, isn't it?" she said, looking a little pale.

"Yeah, it is."

"I better make that phone call now. This is going to change a lot of things."

I decided I didn't want to be there while she talked to her husband. "Chris, can I borrow your car? I'm going to go shower and change quick. I'll bring you back clothes, too." I leaned over and kissed Sadie's forehead. "Get some sleep, doll."

Chris tossed me his keys. "Josh was setting something out for me, so that would be great. I'll stay here and keep Sadie company until you get back."

* * *

Sadie's POV

"Thanks for staying with me, Chris," I said. "I better call my husband before he sees the 10:00 news tonight."

"Probably best if you do, because I'm sure it'll be on there. We're seven hours ahead here."

I picked up my phone and called Justin. He answered right away, so I knew he'd been waiting for me to call; he hated it when I traveled without him. "Hey honey. What time is it there?"

"6:30, Justin replied. "How was dinner? Liam said he had to wear one of his friend's suits because it was a pretty fancy place."

"It was great – the food was really good. You'd really like these guys. Scarlett lent me a dress and I borrowed Kami's shoes. I'll send you pictures a little later. So something happened after dinner. We were on our way out and there was a drive-by shooting."

"Are you okay? Is Liam okay?" he asked in concern.

"Liam's fine, he didn't get a scratch. I got shot twice," Chris cleared his throat and held up three fingers. "– oh three times. Are you sure it was three times, Chris?"

"Absolutely positive," he said, giving me a small smile.

"So I was shot three times, but I'm okay. Someone called an ambulance and they took me to – where am I, Chris?" 

"Martha-Maria," he replied, one hand covering what I was sure was a grin. 

"Martha-Maria Hospital."

"Who's Chris? Chris Evans?" Justin asked. "The one you met today?"

"Yeah, him," I said. "Maybe you should talk to him. I was out of it for a while and I think I'm a little loopy from exhaustion right now. It's been a really long day."

"Put him on the line, Sadie. It might be easier for me to get some answers that way."

"Chris, it's Justin," I said, holding out the phone to him. He took it with a grin, leaning back in his chair.

"Hi Justin, it's Chris Evans. Nice to talk to you; I've heard a lot about you already. Liam took a bunch of pictures with Tom Holland because he said his little brother loves Spiderman."

I laid back and just listened; Chris had a really nice speaking voice. I could listen to him all day.

"She's doing good. She actually saved all of us from getting hurt and that's how she ended up getting shot. No, the Doctor said they didn't hit anything vital. Two of them were stopped by her ribs and the last one by her shoulder blade. Surgery took about an hour and they got all of the metal out and put in some stitches."

"All of us, Liam, Tom, Sebastian, Scarlett and myself. We're all really grateful to her. You got a great wife, Justin." He handed me back the phone.

"Hey honey," I said.

"So you saved the Avengers? That's crazy!"

"You're telling me," I sighed. "I've got some other good news for you, but you have to promise you won't tell anyone – not even your mom until the official announcement is made - and especially not Isaac."

"Sadie, I promise," Justin said firmly. "What is it?"

"So Marvel offered me a small part in an upcoming movie. I accepted, but I don't know all the details yet."

"You're going to be acting in a Marvel movie? Infinity Wars?" Justin asked in disbelief. 

"I don't know exactly, but I'll have to come back to Germany in about a month for a while."

"Is it because you just saved them millions of dollars by keeping Chris and Sebastian alive?"

"I think that has a lot to do with it," I said.

"You're getting paid to do this, right?" my husband asked, ever the pragmatist.

"I'm pretty sure. I haven't signed a contract yet. Chris, I get paid to do this, right?"

"Yes, Sadie. It's a legit job," he said with a wide grin. "There will be a paycheck."

"Chris says yes. Umm, the nurse is coming in now, so I'll call you tomorrow. Remember, not even Isaac or your mom. Love you, bye."

"Love you too, bye Sadie," Justin said.

"Are you in any pain, Frau Wilson?" the nurse asked as she checked my IV's and hung new bags. "We are giving you antibiotics in fluids for now. You will have others to take orally after you leave here."

"Some. My back's really starting to ache now."

"How long have you been awake?" she asked and I shrugged. I wasn't really sure at this point.

"A little over an hour now," Chris said when I looked at him, raising my hand palm up in question. "And she's been in pain for about 30 minutes."

The nurse looked at me and I nodded. "It wasn't this bad earlier."

"I will see what the doctor wants you to have and bring you something for the pain. You are to stay in bed for now."

I nodded, and put my head down on the pillow.

"This has really been some day," I said, sighing. "I just hope I did the right thing."

"You did, Sadie. I know you say you're just friends, but the truth is, I've never seen Seb act this way about anyone before."

"I was under the impression you didn't approve," I mused. "Why did you change your mind?"

"You're really sticking to your guns on this friends thing. I admire that."

"Did you really have a bet as to who'd get my heart rate higher?"

"I wanted to see what you'd do when given the chance," he said evenly. "You surprised me."

"Evans, I hate you," I said calmly.

"No, you don't," he said with a laugh. 

"No, I don't," I agreed. "So did I pass your test?"

"With flying colors. I can't believe you threatened me for trying to kiss you. That's definitely a first for me."

"Just don't try it again and we're good," I said. "I may get mad pretty quick, but I don't stay mad for long."

We paused our conversation when the nurse came back in, injecting pain meds into my IV line.

"Is that morphine?" I asked, the carpuject cartridge looking familiar. "If it is, I'm going to need Benadryl. Morphine makes me itch."

"Yes, it's morphine. Do you get hives?"

"Not hives, just itchy if I have a lot of it. Can I have some diphenhydramine?"

"Yes, of course. You will still itch, just not as bad."

"Thank you," I said and Chris waited until she was gone to finish our conversation.

"No promises," he said and I stared at him in disbelief. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"I don't know what to ask next, but I think I need a little clarification on that answer. That wasn't what you were supposed to say."

"What was I supposed to say?"

"No, I won't try to kiss you again, Sadie."

"Well, you're an actress now, so I can't make that promise. Besides, it was kind of fun to mess with you," he said, lips quirking as he fought a laugh. "Can't say you sounded very threatening, though."

I glared at him and crossed my arms. "Now you're just messing with me. Pretty sure this acting thing is a one time thing. I'm probably not even going to be any good at it."

"We've also got press tours, interviews, social media – not to mention anything can happen in a movie. You haven't even read the script yet, Sadie."

"Not sure I want to now. Please just tell me my character isn't a slut," I begged. 

"She's definitely not a slut."

"Better. I believed you there. You're a better liar than I thought you'd be."

"Is that a backhanded compliment, sassy Sadie?"

"Maybe. I am sassssssssssy. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

He snorted. "Go to sleep, Sadie. You're not making sense any more."

I smiled and closed my eyes, letting him have the last word as the morphine kicked in, dragging me under.


	10. 10

Sebastian's POV

Chris and Sadie were both sound asleep when I got back, so I settled into the other chair by her bed, just closing my eyes when her phone buzzed, a call coming in. I sat up and grabbed it before it could wake her up and saw a picture of her husband on the screen. I took a deep breath and decided to answer it because based on the time, he must have seen the news.

"Hello?"

Hi. Who's this? 

"Sebastian. Sadie's sleeping if you're looking for her. It's 4:30 here."

Sorry about that. I forgot the time difference. Sebastian as in Sebastian Stan?

"Yes, that's me. You must be Justin. I've heard a lot about you already."

Funny, that's what Chris said too. I have to say I've heard an awful lot about you as well in the past couple hours. Liam couldn't say enough nice things about you.

It made me wonder what he'd heard; I knew Sadie had intended to talk to him earlier, but since Chris had been there, she must not have told him about me kissing her. I didn't really know what I should say, so I decided on something true. 

"To be fair, I met her first. He just met us at the airport."

I just saw the incident on the news a little bit ago. She really did pull you out of the line of fire after she made sure Liam was down.

"She did."

Sadie said Liam's okay, but how is he dealing with this? Did he say anything to you about it?

"Yeah, we talked about it afterwards. He was right next to me, putting pressure on one of her wounds while I had another one covered. He was upset, but that didn't stop him from doing what he could to help her out. He knows what she did; he just doesn't completely understand why she did it. I got the impression that he thinks he should've been protecting her instead of the other way around and I tried to explain it to him - he just didn't get it. He's a great kid; a real trooper."

Thank you, Sebastian. I know he'll understand when he's older, but the important thing is that they're both okay. Sadie never mentioned why she and Liam went out to dinner with you guys tonight, just that they were going to meet up with you guys again.

"We unintentionally gave her a panic attack earlier today. We were goofing around and Chris picked her up and was pretending to run away with her. I never met anyone with a fear of being picked up before."

That hasn't happened in a long time – not since before we got married. I thought she got over it, but maybe it was just because I don't pick her up like that.

"Maybe. So Chris and I decided to make it up to her by taking her and Liam out for dinner with Tom and Scarlett. We had a great time – great food, good service, Liam could eat there – thought we had everything taken care of. Then that car comes screeching around the corner and you know the rest."

But she's really going to be okay? She said she was shot three times.

"She is," I assured him. "Luckily, they were small caliber bullets that had to go through her heavy winter coat. I'd be dead if it wasn't for her, and so would Chris. I'm indebted to her and the studio is incredibly grateful to her for her quick thinking."

Is that why they offered her a part?

"Partly. The directors realized she was perfect for it after meeting her in person. She can't tell you any more about the role until they make the official announcement, though. Marvel is really strict when it comes to that kind of stuff."

Good to know – I guess I have a lot to learn. I'm really excited for her. She's always wanted to be an extra in a movie – one of the things on her bucket list, you know. 

"Sadie's not just going to be an extra – she'll have a speaking part, but the directors will be able to do a lot of her shots in chunks, like a week here and a week there, so she won't be gone all the time."

I just know how she is about wanting the boys to have a normal life growing up, like we had. This is going to change things for all of us – I'm just not sure it's for the better. We're kind of used to having her here at home, and it sounds like she'll be gone a lot.

"I think she'll enjoy the whole experience and you guys will be able to come visit at some point. I don't know if either of them told you, but I offered to fly you all to New York for a week or two to do some sight seeing."

Liam was saying something earlier about New York, but he was just so excited that his words were running together, making it hard to understand him. 

"Yeah, I know what you mean - he's a little hard to follow when he's excited. Sadie and Liam are also going to be on some of the talk shows after they get back to the States, so they're welcome to stay with me then, too - even if the rest of you can't come then."

We'll talk it over and let you know, Sebastian. I still remember my bachelor days and I'd hate to put a damper on your social life by having a couple of teenagers and us there.

"It wouldn't be an inconvenience at all - I spend a lot of time on location for filming, so I don't really have a lot of time for a social life right now. But it's really late, so I'm going to try and get some sleep now, but if you call when you get up in the morning, Sadie should be able to talk to you."

Sure. Sorry, if I woke you up, Sebastian. Thanks for talking to me, and more importantly, thanks for taking care of Sadie and Liam for me. It really means a lot to us that you've both been helping them out.

"You're welcome. Night."

I set Sadie's phone down, and settled back in my chair, reaching a hand out to twine my fingers with hers, needing the contact with her to hopefully keep the nightmares away.

I was going to hell - no two ways about it. After talking to Justin, I almost felt guilty for how much I still wanted Sadie. Almost. I couldn't lie to myself – I loved her. 

It didn't make sense for me to love her. I'd only known her for a day, but she was already incredibly important to me - and that was even before she saved my life and the lives of some of my best friends. 

I didn't want to think about how much I was going to miss her in two days when she continued on with the tour group. At least I'd see her in a month when she came back for shooting.

I'd been dreading shooting the upcoming scenes because until tonight, we still hadn't found someone I was willing to work with - and I really didn't want to work with anyone other than Sadie. She didn't know it yet, but her character's interaction with mine was integral to Bucky's character arc over the next couple movies. It had been written with a specific person in mind, but she hadn't been available when filming started, leaving us in a bit of a bind.

Everyone else I'd read with before Sadie could sell it to the camera – they were professionals - but they didn't sell it to me. I had no chemistry with them whatsoever; not even my own ex-girlfriend. Sadie was a godsend; she was the type of person the character was intended to be, so it didn't matter if she knew how to act because for this, she just needed to be herself.  
Sadie's POV

By the time they let me out of the hospital later that morning, I was more than ready to leave. After I was given instructions on how to care for my wounds and a bottle of antibiotics, we were in Chris' car on the way to the studio. 

Scarlett had bought me a new purse and coat, along with a couple new outfits so I could change between interviews; she said it was so the networks didn't all get the exact same footage. They'd talked me through the questions that were probably going to be asked and coached me on what to say. Everything about me was going to be scrutinized, so I had to know what I was going to say before I said it.

* *

The Russo's met us there. As promised, there was paperwork for me to sign. I'd talked to CAA on speakerphone earlier with Chris and Scarlett, trying to get a feel for the agency before deciding to sign with them. They were surprisingly thrilled to have me and that led to them giving me a choice of agents. 

"Scarlett, it think they have too many digits in this number," I whispered as the legal people talked me through the contract. 

"That's just for this film, Sadie," she pointed out with her trademark smirk. "They gave you one hell of a deal."

"That's all I'm doing is one," I protested.

"You have the option to negotiate for the next three films as well," Chris said. "If they like your character and there's a place for her in the storyline, you keep playing the character. Marvel generally doesn't replace someone once they're cast, Sadie."

"But I'm only signing for one today, right?" I looked at the legal people and they nodded. 

"Yes. Your agent will handle negotiations for the rest of the films."

"And no nudity, right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Chris had just taken a drink and almost spit it out. I thumped him on the back. "Careful, Evans. I don't want to have to do the Heimlich on you next."

Scarlett laughed and gestured for the legal people to answer. They checked the papers and then said. "Correct, no nudity."

"Just checking," I said. "Can't be too careful – my kids will see this eventually."

"Very smart. Do you have any further questions?"

"Not really. Scarlett, Chris, is there anything else I should ask?"

 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

It took a while to hammer out the script details with the Russo's while Chris and Scarlett were helping Sadie with her paperwork.

"What do you think, Seb?" Joe asked when we reached the end of the scene.

"I think that sounds good. This is so much like her that it won't really be acting. Once you get her on set and get an idea of who she is, then you'll know how this will work."

"We're a little concerned about her lack of experience," Anthony said, sitting back in his chair. "But that's something that can be remedied before we shoot with this little press tour she's going to have to do."

"Also, Kevin wants us to film a screen test with Sadie and both you and Chris while she's here," Joe put in. 

"Not a full crew, just us and you two," Anthony added. "He's sold on the character - he's just not sold on Sadie yet."

"Sure – as long as she feels up to it," I said, nodding.

"And Seb?" Joe said in a way that caught my attention. 

"Yeah?"

"Remember that you were just escorting her around so she could meet the cast," Joe said, eyeing me. "Downplay your involvement with her personally."

"And for god's sake try to remember she's married during the interviews," Anthony said with a sigh. "I don't care how you look at her on set, but when you're out in public, she's just a friend. Those pictures from the airport and the accident could easily be taken the wrong way and used against her."

"I understand," I said, meeting both of their eyes. "I don't want to mess this up for her."

 

* * 

"You ready to do this, doll?" I said, escorting her to the chair they had ready for her.

"You shouldn't call me that, Sebastian," Sadie said, giving me a look. "Not on camera."

"Good thing they aren't rolling yet. You look beautiful, Sadie."

She flushed with pleasure, making my throat dry as my mind made an unwanted leap. "Thanks, Scarlett picked it out for me. It's really comfortable, which is good."

"How's your back feeling?"

"It's starting to ache. I should probably take something before we get started," she said, digging through her purse and pulling out an amber bottle of pain pills.

"I'll get you a bottle of water then," I said with a smile. "Unless you want something else?"

"Water's fine; Coke would be better if they have it. I could use the sugar and caffeine about now."

"Coke it is." 

I grabbed two bottles of Coke from the refreshment table and handed one to her so she could wash down her pills. One of the sound guys hooked on a microphone for me while the other put one on Sadie, answering the many questions she had about their jobs.

"How'd the paperwork go?" I asked Chris. "They treating her right?"

"Better than all right," he said. "Even if they don't use any of her scenes, she clears a half million. The number increases if they use her in the film, along with a decent backend percentage. She's also got options for the next three films if she wants them."

I whistled. "Nice work! The Russo's want her to film a screen test with us."

"This could be interesting, Seb," Chris said, raising his eyebrows. "She doesn't have a clue about what's in the script."

"That's probably a good thing for now," I admitted. "I think we got the basics worked out; we'll just have to fine tune things when it gets closer." 

I watched the hair and makeup people chattering at her while they gave her the full treatment, covering the dark circles she had from a short, restless night. They even found a ring for her to wear so she'd be flashing a wedding ring if she talked with her hands. I sighed at the reminder, but it was something that needed to be there. It was part of her identity, just like being a mother.

"You got yourself under control?" Chris asked me after studying me briefly. "She needs you to be her friend right now, Seb. This is a big deal for all of us."

"I know. Who'd have thought a chance meeting on the plane would lead to all this?"

"Maybe it was fate. She was brought into our lives for a reason," he said, clapping me on the back. "I talked to her husband last night. He seems like a good guy – he was really worried about them. It didn't help that she didn't know where she was or even how many times she'd been shot; she only thought she'd been hit twice."

"I talked to him too, after you both were asleep. He saw the news story and called to make sure she was all right." I paused, needing to talk to him about something that had bothered me since last night. "I've done those kinds of scenes before, you know. This was nothing like that, Chris – it wasn't a scene. There wasn't any pauses, no repositioning, just her going limp in my arms as her blood covered my hands. Every time I closed my eyes last night I saw it all over again."

"Hey guys," Tom said, coming up next to us and startling us out of our morbid conversation. "How's it going?"

"Do we tell him?" Chris asked me, a twinkle in his eye.

"I dunno. I don't think he's very good at keeping secrets," I said, playing along. 

"I can too keep a secret!" Tom said. "What's the secret?"

"No you can't tell him!" Scarlett said, smacking me on the arm. "You know Tom can't keep a secret to save his life and he's going to be on live TV. Joe will kill you and Anthony will bury your body somewhere they'll never find you."

"Scarlett, I love you but you still terrify me," Tom said, jaw dropping. "Please don't kill me, Mama Spider."

She rolled her eyes and walked over to Sadie, leaving us to follow behind her.

"So what's the secret?" Tom asked as we made our way to the chairs.

I met Chris' eyes and we both just grinned, enjoying teasing him way too much.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked Sadie, pointing at the chair beside her with that smile she liked so much.

She gave me a slight smile, remembering how we'd met. "I wasn't expecting anyone, so it's all yours," she replied, sharing a look with me.

* * *

Sadie's POV

I thought the interviews went really well. They didn't take very long once we got started and I was pleasantly surprised at how well I came across when we got to see some of the footage after we finished.

"If you'd like to see the set, we can show you around quick, Sadie," Sebastian said. "Then the Russo's wanted you to film a couple screen tests for them."

"Like read a few lines or something?"

"Or something," Chris agreed. "Act out a scene with Steve and Bucky."

"Okay. I'll give it a try," I said. "I can't promise I won't fangirl a little if you're in character."

"This from the girl who wasn't even going to tell me she knew who I was?" Sebastian protested.

"And the girl who had to be drug over to meet me?" Chris added with a laugh, making me flush.

"Blame Sebastian for that one; he didn't tell me you were going to be there. I also told you I shipped you with Scarlett, so you can't believe everything you hear, Stan," I teased him.

"So you didn't mean it when you said you were more of a Steve Rogers kind of girl?" he said, making Chris raise an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, I'm not denying that one at all, but we really haven't seen a lot of Bucky when he wasn't brainwashed yet."

"She's got you there, Seb," Tom said. "Other than in the first movie when you meet 1940's Bucky, he's mostly the Winter Soldier – more machine than man. Or he's trying to remember who he used to be."

"See, Tom gets it," I said, high-fiveing Tom and then wincing from the abrupt motion. "Shit, that hurt," I groaned. I had to stop walking and take a couple deep breaths, trying to keep from crying, it hurt so bad.

"Sadie?" Sebastian asked, grabbing me by the arms carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, didn't think that through. The pain pills kicked in a little bit ago and I forgot I was hurt."

"What did they give you?" Scarlett asked as he let go of me.

"I'm not sure, but I think they're like the European version of Percocet. They work, but they also make me a little loopy."

"I agree," Chris said. "Good thing you don't have to do any driving. Do you still want a tour?"

"Yes," I said closing my eyes and focusing on breathing. "Just give me a minute, okay?"

 

**Screentest 1**

"Steve, why are they after you?"

"It's a long story," he said. 

"So give me the Cliff Notes version and summarize it for me," I ground out. "Do you think we lost them?"

"Nope, they're still there. They can't find me or Bucky's on his own." 

"I don't really want them to find you either. If they find you, they find me."

"Can you pretend you like me for a little bit?" he asked, looking at me speculatively.

"Like flirt with you or kiss you?" 

"Both - because they're coming this way now."

"You're cute when you're flustered," I said, pulling his head down to kiss him. "If I didn't know better, I'd think this was all a ruse just to get me to kiss you."

"Doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be."

"Very smooth, Rogers," I said with a smile. "They're gone now, so you can let go of me."

"I know," he said, kissing me again. "That one was for me. Thanks, doll."

I gave him a look. "You still owe me an explanation, so don't think you're off the hook, mister. Luckily, the third window up is mine; meet me there. I don't want my neighbors to see me bringing you in."

"Cut," Joe said. "I'm pleasantly surprised, Sadie."

"Thanks, I think," I said as I rubbed my face and scowled at Chris. "You need to shave, mister. I'm not really into beard burn."

"No can do. Steve gets to be scruffy in this one. He's in hiding."

"Blasphemy I tell you!" I said, making him laugh. "Hiding that jawline's gotta be illegal somewhere." 

 

**Screentest 2**

I read over the papers they handed me next a couple times, taking the gist of it in. This scene was going to be a little more challenging - and I wasn't sure how I would come across.

"Who's there?" I said. "Show yourself – I'm armed."

Seb slowly maneuvered me, taking the pretend gun and pressing my back up against him with a hand on my throat, being surprisingly gentle while still scaring me. I brought my hands up to hold onto his – supposedly preventing him from choking me.

"Who are you?" he asked, his rough voice in my ear sending chills down my spine.

"I'm Sadie; I live here. Who are you?"

"Bucky."

I relaxed slightly. "I've been waiting a long time for you now, Bucky. I'm a friend of Steve's; if you'll let go of me, I'll prove it." It was a long moment before he let go of my neck. I turned around to look at him, moving slowly. I reached a hand up to my neck and pulled off a pair of dog tags, holding them out to Bucky. "Steve gave me these to show you, so you'd know I was a friend."

"They're mine – I gave them to Steve for safe keeping." He said after he inspected them, putting the gun away and pulling the chain over his head, relaxing slightly. "Where's Steve?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me where he was going, but he left me a number to reach him at when you got here. It's not his regular phone number, so it must be a burner phone."

He pulled the gun back out when I reached into my pocket. I slowly pulled my hand out with my phone out and showed it to him. "Just getting the phone out, Bucky. I'm supposed to call Steve and leave him a message, unless you want to talk to him?"

He shook his head decisively. "They'll be scanning for my voice. Don't use names and keep it short."

I tapped at my phone. "Paranoid much?" I paused to wait for the voicemail and left a message. "I've got your pet; call me when you get this."

"You knew I was coming?"

"I expected you a couple days ago, Bucky. Don't you know it's rude to keep a girl waiting?"

"Sorry doll, I didn't know I had a date."

"I'll forgive you this time. Are you hungry? I picked up groceries on my way home."

He nodded, staring at me. "I saw you, the other day."

"You were...watching me?" I asked, and he nodded again. "Why?"

"You were kissing Steve."

I flushed, remembering that kiss. "Just as a distraction. Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable, so they don't look at you then. He's just a friend, nothing more."

"Didn't look like that to me," he said, a hard edge to his voice.

"Believe whatever you want to believe, then." I shrugged. "It's no skin off my nose. Steve left me some of your clothes so you can shower and change while I make supper. No offense, but you don't exactly smell the greatest right now."

"What's wrong with how I smell?"

"You smell like you slept in a bar, Bucky."

"I did."

I blinked at him in surprise. "Bathroom's the second door on the right. Can't miss it. Towels are in the bathroom closet. I'll find you some clean clothes to wear while you get showered."

"Thank you," he said quietly as I turned away. I looked back at him.

"You're welcome," I said with a small smile.

"Cut!" Joe said, grinning. "That was perfect. You think you can repeat that performance, Sadie?"

"I'll try to," I said, smiling at the directors. 

Sebastian came up behind me and put his arm around me carefully. "I didn't hurt you when I grabbed you earlier, did I?" he asked worriedly. 

"No, not at all. It hurt more to take off the dog tags than that little fancy move you did."

"Now later on, there's another scene that we'd like you two to do," Joe said. "Here's the script."

I skimmed through it before looking up at Sebastian speculatively. "So who was this scene originally written for?"

"I can't tell you that," he said, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter – she wasn't available for shooting even if she'd wanted the part."

I nodded, looking back down at the papers. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to his. "You can do this, Sadie. You've got nothin' to worry 'bout."

I smiled as he slipped back into his current Brooklyn Bucky accent – a mix of '40's Bucky and the Winter Soldier. 

"I just don't want to screw this up, Sebastian."

"You won't. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I said with a sigh. I looked over at the directors and they nodded, indicating they were ready for us to start.

**Screentest 3**

"I have to go, Bucky. I don't belong here."

"You belong with me, doll. Stay," he pleaded softly, his eyes begging me and weakening my resolve. 

I shook my head. "You don't need me anymore – you've got Steve to look out for you again – and he needs you too, Bucky."

"I do need you, Sadie. When I'm with you I can remember who I used to be."

"I'm glad you're remembering more, but you're not the same man you were back then. Times have changed – you've changed. Your past doesn't define you, Bucky."

"I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of -"

I cut him off with an angry gesture. "No, the Soldier did – you didn't! That's a huge distinction. I hate it when you put yourself down like that! You have the chance to do something good – make the world a better place and redeem yourself if that's what you need to do. This is where you belong."

"I know, I just thought you'd be here with me – with us."

"This is your world, Bucky, not mine. I'd only hold you back," I said, my eyes starting to fill with tears.

"You don't hold me back, Sadie. You never have." His lips covered mine and I let myself feel everything my character would leaving the love of her life because it would be better for him that way. "I love you," he said as he kissed me again. "And if you leave, I leave with you because I don't want to live this life without you." 

I think I was supposed to say 'I love you' back to him, but I couldn't. I felt so torn - how could I feel this way about someone I'd only known for a day? "Goodbye, Bucky," I said, reaching up to touch his face lightly as tears rolled down my face. 

"No," he said, looking upset. "I don't want you to go." 

He kissed me deeply, not holding anything back. One of my hands came up and tangled in his soft hair, pulling him closer to me. We were so wrapped up in each other that neither of us heard them say 'cut,' or maybe they didn't say it, just let us keep going until we finally pulled back, his eyes holding mine while he gently stroked my face, wiping my tears away.

"God, Sadie, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry."

"I wasn't planning on it, but I couldn't help myself. That felt real, Sebastian."

"It was supposed to, Sadie. I'm very good at my job."

I took a half step back, trying to restart my brain. "Yes, you are; but not all of that was acting." I looked over at Chris, Joe, and Anthony, who were all staring at us. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, not at all," Anthony said. "I think this is going to be a very interesting twist in Bucky's character arc."

"The audience isn't going to expect this at all," Joe said. "Thank you, Sadie."

I looked at Sebastian quizzically, but he and Chris were engaged in some kind of male nonverbal conversation.

"Which way to the ladies room?" I asked the cameraman quietly. He pointed me in the right direction and I hurried off the set.


	11. 11

Sebastian's POV

"Where'd Sadie go?" I asked when I saw she was gone.

"Bathroom," Joe said, looking up from the notes he was making on his copy of the script. "Those were some of the best interactions I've seen from Bucky yet, Seb. Kevin's going to love it."

"Thanks," I said, glad that they were on board with this. "So you really liked her?"

"We love her. Chris – you've got some work to do. You just showed us you have better chemistry with Sadie – a friend – than Emily – your almost girlfriend – so find a way to make it work with Emily."

"I will. We should probably get going, Seb. Sadie wanted to get back to the hotel before Liam was supposed to be done for the day."

I picked up Sadie's coat and purse, heading off the set to the closest restrooms. "Where's Scarlett?"

"Tom dropped her off at her hotel. She wanted to spend some time with Rose since we have the day off. Last night was a little too close of a call for her." He knocked on the bathroom door. "Sadie, are you in there?"

"No."

"Are you decent?"

"No."

"I'm coming in," he warned.

"No."

"You sound like a broken record, sweetheart," Chris said, laughing as he pulled the door open and walked in.

"No," she said with what sounded like a chuckle. "Evans, what the hell?" 

"You know you only call me by my last name when you're upset with me?" he said. "It's time for us to feed you and take you back to your hotel."

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation because they lowered their voices, but they came out a couple minutes later; Sadie looked pale and shaken, Chris seemed a little subdued. When I'd have started to say something, Chris shook his head quickly and mouthed 'later' to me. I smiled at her and held out her coat so she could put it on. 

"I think you packed bricks in your purse, Sadie. This thing sure is heavy."

"No bricks, but I do have a lot in there right now. I can take it from you."

"I got it," I said, slinging it over my shoulder, hearing a chuckle from Chris. "You shouldn't be carrying anything that heavy right now anyways. Evans, if you took a picture, I'm going to cream you."

"I got a picture all right and there ain't nothing you can do to stop me from posting it, Sebby."

Chris and I bantered lightly all the way to the car. By the time I opened her door for her, Sadie was smiling and had some color back again. We convinced her to go eat with us at a little deli near the studio that had a good selection and the best Reuben's I'd ever had.

After we ordered, Sadie sat staring out the window at the traffic but not really seeing anything. I looked at Chris, who was sitting next to her, but he shook his head and sent me a quick text.

Chris: She's a little shook up about the screen tests. She wasn't expecting anything that intense.

Me: She okay?

Chris: Give her some space for a bit. She will be once she processes everything. 

 

* * *

Sadie's POV

I had a lot to think about after those screen tests. I hadn't expected that. Read a few lines with the guys, sure; act out a small scene, sure – I just wasn't mentally prepared for that last scene with Sebastian. The way he'd looked at me - that hadn't been acting.

I think I'd done better with Chris's scene because I was only supposed to be a friend to him and that's how I saw him. Once I'd gotten over my initial fangirling of yesterday, I was okay with kissing Chris. I was attracted to him, but with him it was more of the 'he's a very handsome man' kind of attraction, not a visceral attraction. If I'd had any doubt before then, the kiss proved to me that I didn't like him like that. 

With Sebastian, though, it was the opposite. I was intensely attracted to him and the raw vulnerability he showed as Bucky – that got to me big time. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame – it was inevitable I was going to be burned. The way he looked at me, touched me, everything – let me know how much he wanted me. Me, a 35 year old nobody from the middle of nowhere who'd only managed to get his attention because I kept telling him 'no.' 

I was going to keep telling him no, too. Partly because I was afraid of these intense feelings between us, partly because Justin and I still had a good thing. It wasn't perfect, but it was ours. I owed it to myself to stick to my guns. Eventually, Sebastian would move on and find someone else to focus his attention on – he never stayed single for long, according to the stories – and things between us would either settle into normal or fade away. I wasn't that kind of girl - the one that chased celebrities because she wanted something from them. 

I still didn't regret my actions last night; I couldn't have watched Sebastian die in front of me - and he would have. He wasn't much taller than me, the bullet that hit my shoulder blade would have went right through his heart. 

I also understood how Sebastian had felt, holding me and knowing there was nothing he could do for me. I felt the same thing every time my son had an allergic reaction: I had to give him his medication and rush him to the hospital, hearing him gasping for air as his throat closed and his lips turned blue from lack of oxygen. For several nights afterwards, I always found myself going into his room when he was sleeping just to make sure he was still breathing.

I looked over at Sebastian, studying him while he wasn't paying attention and he was watching the cook making our food. His body language reminded me of a kicked puppy, and I knew it was because I'd been avoiding him since the readings. There was a hint of a frown on his face tinged with worry and his fingers were tapping the table idly, running through what looked like piano chords. He probably wasn't even aware he was doing it, first with one hand and then the other. 

I slowly reached out one hand and covered Sebastian's hand with my own, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles. His eyes shot to mine in question, but I only smiled. He turned his hand over, his palm warm against mine, his long fingers wrapping around my hand. I pulled my hand back, catching my fingers on his briefly and squeezing before letting go. The tension in his shoulders lessened, and his smile returned to hover on his lips after that. 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

I gave Sadie a smile and relaxed back into my seat, relieved to know she wasn't angry with me anymore. Our food came just then and we dug in hungrily. Both Chris and I were used to eating a lot of calories to maintain our current muscle mass and we hadn't been eating much in the last two days with everything that had been going on. 

"So are you going to stay with me when you come back for shooting?" Chris asked Sadie. "I have plenty of room."

"I'll think about it," she said, sighing. "I haven't thought that far ahead. Are you sure that's fine?"

"Yeah, I can have whoever I want stay with me. The lease is in my name since I have to be here pretty much the whole time. That's almost a solid year of filming with a couple weeks off here and there. I used to stay at a hotel, but then I had to deal with the paps a lot more."

"That's crazy. Like I can't even wrap my head around this kind of lifestyle. So how many hours a day do you shoot?"

"Usually around 8 but sometimes up to 12 when we're crunched for time on a specific location."

"This is going to ruin all the movie magic for me, isn't it?" she said with a sigh.

"Most likely," I laughed. "It's so cool how they do some of the stuff, though."

"I love watching the 'making of' and the behind the scenes things they put on DVD's, so I'll probably like seeing it for real. I know Liam and Isaac would, too."

"It's different, but I love it," Chris said. "It's a dream job, playing iconic characters." Chris' phone rang and he grimaced before answering. "Hi Ma. Yes, I'm perfectly fine, there's nothing for you to be worried about." 

Chris' Boston accent really came out when he talked to his family, much to my amusement. Sadie heard it and perked up, sharing a look with me as his accent thickened and he clipped his words. "I'm sorry I didn't think ta call ya last night, but it was pretty late by the time we got everythin' sorted out. You woulda been sleepin' already and then I nevah woulda heard the end of it."

Chris looked over at Sadie, making a face and gesturing that his Ma was gabbing his ear off as he listened to whatever Lisa was saying, but it was all an act. He loved his family and it showed, especially when he was talking to his mom. "She's sittin' right here next to me, Ma. Hold on, I'll ask her. Hold on, okay?"

"Yes, I'll talk to your mom, Chris," Sadie said with a wide smile, holding out her hand for the phone. "Should I ask if you can come out to play?"

"Don't encourage her," he said with a chuckle and a shake of his head, handing over the phone. We both knew Sadie wasn't going to be able to get a word in edgewise until Lisa had run out of steam.

"I can't believe you didn't call her last night," I said, shaking my head at my friend. "I called Mom on my way to your place to change and she was so worked up she'd reverted to Romanian."

"I love listening to your mom yell at you in Romanian. It always sounds like you're in so much more trouble than you really are," Chris said with a mischievous grin. "Next time call her when I'm there with you!"

"You say that like you know there's gonna be a next time," I replied, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Your mom gives you a weekly lecture on how you need to settle down and give her grandbabies, Seb. There's always a next time with moms - believe me, I know."

"True. She was very disappointed Sadie was already married."

"I'll bet she was," he said with a smirk. "She got another blind date lined up for you when you get home again?"

"No, thank you, Lisa. He's been so nice to me and Liam the whole time," Sadie said. "He's 15 and a huge fan of Chris'. You've done a great job raising him; I just hope my boys turn out so well when they're his age." Sadie gave Chris a smile, seeing him blushing under her praise. "I'll look at my schedule and see what we can work out, okay? We've never been to Boston before, so I'm sure the boys will love it. Uh-huh, sure. I'll look forward to it. Bye Lisa."

Sadie handed Chris back the phone before giving me a grin. "Is she like that in person?" she asked quietly as Chris finished talking to his mom.

"Yes," I said firmly. "It's a good thing you're married already or you'd have found yourself a mother-in-law."

Sadie giggled, trying not to laugh too hard. "Ow! That still hurts. Do I need to talk to your mom, too?"

"I was smart and called her last night before it made it on the news. She wants to meet you, by the way."

"Maybe when we have to go to New York for the TV shows?" she said, pulling out her pill bottles and taking another dose of her antibiotics and pain pills.

"Sounds good. Her schedule is pretty free now that she's retired."

"What were you playing earlier?"

I stared at her for a moment, then realized I'd been tapping on the table again. "Whatever was in my head at the moment. I haven't done that in a while. I don't really play or anything, I just kinda mess around. My mom is the musical one."

We were almost done eating by the time Chris managed to get off the phone with his mom. "I'm sorry for whatever my Ma said. I told her you're married – I'm still not sure she believed me, though."

"I think it's cute that your mom wants you to settle down and have a gaggle of kids for her to dote on," Sadie said, finishing her food.

"You have to meet the right girl first. At the rate I'm going I'm never going to find her," Chris said, pointing his fork at her. "All the good ones are already taken and I'm not gettin' any younger here."

"Maybe it's because you're not really ready to settle down – or you've been looking in the wrong places. I know you meet all these hot models and actresses all the time, but they're not going to want to pause their career to be a wife and mother. You're gone for months at a time filming on location – that's not easy on a relationship, either. Get eating – your food's getting cold."

"Did you just mom me?" He said in disbelief. "I'm still processing everything you just said, Sadie. Give me a moment."

She snorted. "Pretty sure you've heard it all before. You're what - a year older than me, Chris? Not everyone gets married right out of high school and starts having kids."

"I want kids," he said, looking at her.

"I noticed," Sadie said with a smile. "I thought you were going to run off with mine. Pretty sure you try to parent the hell out of Rose, too. She was playing some pretend game with my stuff and I heard her saying something about Cwis before she found my Kinder eggs and opened them all."

"He does," I said. "You like Kinder eggs?"

"They were for Isaac, but I'm going to have to get him some more now."

"Like you can talk, Sebby," Chris retorted. "You're just as bad."

"I'm just the fun Uncle Sebastian, Evans. I know Rose has called you 'Daddy' more than once when she's tired. She likes to sleep on Chris's chest."

"I don't blame her," Sadie said with a smirk, making him laugh as she eyed him. "She's cute. I think she said my name over and over for a solid couple minutes before Scarlett let her watch TV. She's going to be beautiful when she grows up." 

"Of course she is – she's a mini Scarlett," I said.

"Speaking of kids, I'm ready to see mine – and take a nap. I feel like I haven't slept in a week."

"Jet lag does that to a person," Chris said knowingly. 

"Sorry you missed out on the touristy stuff today, Sadie," I said.

"I'm not. I've seen those churches before and Liam will have more fun with his friends without his mom keeping a close eye on him."

"Did you have a good time today? The syndicates were loving you."

"Surprisingly enough, I did," she said with a smile. "After that first interview I knew what to expect and your coaching really helped. I also had a good time touring the set with you two today. Can't say I've ever had a job interview quite like that before, though. That was a first." 

"Now you know why I said 'no promises' last night," Chris said, finishing his food and wiping his hands with a napkin.

"If you would have told me last night I'd be doing this today I'd have said you're crazy," Sadie replied resting her head on her steepled hands.

"If I'd told you last night, you wouldn't have come with us today," he said, sliding out of his chair. 

"You look like you're going to fall asleep right there, Sadie. Let's get you back to your hotel." I offered Sadie my arm and she took it, leaning on me more than before.

"You're right," she said, glancing over at me. "I probably wouldn't have agreed to take the part."

"I'm glad you did," I put in. "You just saved me from having to suffer through weeks of putting up with my ex. She was the only other person that was even close to acceptable – and Chris hates her."

"I don't hate her," Chris clarified. "I just don't care for her very much, just like you didn't care for Jenny when she screen tested with you."

"I didn't think she did that well with you either - and you were already in a movie together recently - and dated for a while."

"Boys, enough," Sadie said in a tone that made us both look at her in surprise. "Don't make me separate you two."

"What are you going to do when your boys are bigger than you are, Sadie?" Chris asked, smirking.

"Keep putting the fear of God in them. No matter how big they get, they'll always be my babies. You wouldn't dare talk back to your mom, would you?"

"I like living, so no," Chris replied, shuddering. 

"I second that," I said grinning at him. Sadie rolled her eyes at us and snorted in amusement.

"We're here, Sadie," Chris said as we pulled up in front of Sadie's hotel. He reached over to touch her arm when she didn't respond right away; she was leaning on the passenger door like she was going to fall asleep. "We're here. Do you want us both to come up with you?"

"If you'd like to, you can," she said, "but I really do need to talk to Sebastian, Chris."

"Yeah, you do," he said quietly. "Tell you what – I'm going to head home and let you two talk. Seb knows how to get to my place from here, right Seb?"

"Yeah, that's fine with me," I said, slinging Sadie's bag over my shoulder. "I'll just take a taxi back to your place later." I got out and opened Sadie's door for her, waiting for her to get out.

"I'll call you later, Sadie," Chris said, leaning over and giving her a careful hug.

"Okay," Sadie said as she let go of him. "Thanks for lunch and the ride." She carefully stepped out of the car and took my arm tiredly, letting me guide her into the hotel.

"You okay, doll?" I asked when she stumbled over nothing.

"I think my meds kicked in already; I'm just really tired now. I know it's been a busy day, but I didn't even really do anything, today - just talked a lot."

"You did more than you think, Sadie – but I agree, it's been a long, busy day. Do you think Liam's back yet?"

"I didn't see the bus, so probably not. He was supposed to text me when the bus was heading back to the hotel today, but I haven't told him we were done at the studio, either." 

We got on the elevator, heading to her room. I wondered what she wanted to talk to me about, but I'd be finding out shortly. The hallway was empty as we walked to her room and I held her purse so she could get her room key out of it to open the door, following her in.

"Does Liam have a key to your room?" I asked as I set her purse on the dresser, looking around. One bed, so she had the room to herself.

"Yes," she admitted before going into the bathroom and shutting the door. 

Not wanting to be interrupted, I walked back over to the door and threw the deadbolt and latched the chain. Between exhaustion and her pain pills, she almost seemed like she was drunk, I decided - but I also got the impression she was barely holding it together and I didn't want to leave her until I was sure she was all right. 

I took off my coat as I walked over to the window, looking to see what the view was like and seeing something I should have expected: reporters across the street. If they saw me coming in, they needed to see me leaving shortly – alone. I took a picture and closed the curtains before I sent it to Chris, knowing he'd call their publicist and have her handle it.

"What are you looking at?" Sadie asked, drying her face off. She'd removed all the makeup they'd put on for her interviews and gathered her hair into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. I moved the curtain slightly to show her and closed it again quickly.

"The paparazzi are camped out already. I let Chris know so he can have your publicist take care of it. They know they're not supposed to do this – they're probably hoping you don't know that, though."

"Oh, god. Are they going to stalk me the whole time I'm here?" she asked, eyes wide with concern.

"Not after today, they shouldn't. I'll talk to the hotel manager on my way out to make sure they don't pester you with calls or anything."

"Thank you, Sebastian," she said, putting her arms around my torso, tucking her face into the crook of my neck with a sigh, and leaning on me heavily. My body responded to her instantly, the feel of her body pressed to mine even better than I remembered it being. "I don't know what I would have done without you, Chris and Scarlett today." 

I carefully put my arms around her, making certain to not touch any of her injuries. Having her in my arms like this wasn't helping me fight the urge to kiss her one bit. She leaned more heavily on me, and I was concerned she was going to pass out standing up.

"Well, we're kind of the reason you're in this mess to begin with. If it had been anyone else involved, you would've had a newspaper interview or something and that would have been the end of it." I kissed her forehead gently. "What did you want to talk about, Sadie? I can't stay long – I can guarantee they know exactly when we got here."

She didn't say anything right away and I could feel her trembling against me. The damp warmth soaking into the collar of my shirt told me she was crying. I'd been waiting for this to happen since yesterday night. She'd handled everything so well up until now, but she'd had so much thrown at her today that she'd finally reached her breaking point, the paparazzi outside being the final straw.

"Hey, now," I said as I stroked her face with my thumb. "What's this for? I wasn't even being mean to you or nothin'." 

Her lower lip wobbled and she sniffed, tears running down her face unchecked. I shifted her, picking her up by her hips and sitting on the bed with her in my lap. She wrapped her long legs around me and pressed closer, wriggling against my erection and eroding my control completely even though I was almost certain she wasn't aware she was doing it, only going off instinct and a need to be held. 

I let her just cry it out for a while until she finally stopped shaking. Unable to resist any longer, I dipped my head and covered her lips with mine gently, kissing her until she raised her head from my shoulder. 

She languidly brought one hand up to tangle it in my hair like before as my tongue teased hers, deepening the kiss. Her hand slid over my well defined muscles, clearly enjoying the feel of them even as her hesitant motions turned me on even more.

I couldn't get enough of her, savoring the feel of her soft skin under my hands when her shirt rode up. She was more shapely than I expected, her lush curves begging for my attention. I boldly undid the buttons of her shirt, exposing her to my starving eyes. She wasn't wearing anything under the shirt to hide her beauty from me and my jeans were stranglingly tight now. 

Caressing her firm breasts, I rolled her nipples between my deft fingers as she moaned against my lips, riding the wave of pleasure. She was breathless by the time I kissed down her jaw and neck, pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat and feeling her rapid pulse under my lips.

I needed to pull back for a second; I felt like a horny teenager again. If she'd touched me now - just brushed her hand over me - I'd have blown my load then and there I was so turned on. 

"Sadie," I whispered, pulling back to meet her eyes. As much as I wanted her, I needed to give her a chance to say yes or no - especially since she was taking narcotics for her pain. "If you don't tell me to stop now, I'm not going to be able to if we go much farther. I want you too badly right now, sweetheart."

Awareness suddenly entered her eyes and she would have moved to get off me, but I held her in place easily, still on edge. 

"It's okay, Sadie. Just take a deep breath, okay?"

She reaching down to button her shirt back up again with shaking hands. "That was...Sebastian, I'm sorry - I can't-" She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "This is... God! I wasn't thinking. That was real!"

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Sadie," I said, cupping her face with my hand. "I just couldn't stand seeing you cry."

She kissed my palm, covering my hand with her own and taking it from her face. "I needed to cry – get it all out of my system. This isn't what I had in mind when I asked you to come talk to me, Sebastian."

"I know," I said with a smile. "I don't mind, though. You can kiss me anytime, doll."

She smiled at the use of the old-fashioned endearment. "I know I shouldn't want to kiss you, but I do. I don't understand why I feel this way about you, Sebastian. I feel like I've known you forever. How is that even possible?"

"I feel the same way. It's like I was always looking for you, I just didn't know it until I found you. What are we going to do? I know you have a life and family to go back to, and I understand that – I really do – I just want you to spend time with me, too."

She stared into my eyes and it felt like she was reading my soul. "I'm okay with spending time with you, but you have to accept that I won't sleep with you, Sebastian. That's the one line I refuse to cross. This never should have happened."

"I can accept that – or try to. I'm not saying it will be easy, but if it's that important to you, I'll try to stop pushing you. Can I at least still kiss you?" I asked, leaning forward to claim her lips again.

She pulled back, shaking her head slowly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Sebastian – especially since I've got the press camping out across from my hotel. Can we try for just friends for now? Like actually try?"

"Is that what you want, Sadie?" I asked, stroking her face lightly. "Just friends?"

She nodded once. "As selfish as this is of me – I still want you in my life."

"It's not selfish at all, because I want the same thing," I said. I wanted more, but I'd take what I could get if it meant I could be near her. "I don't think I'd be able to stay away from you for long, anyways. If only -" She covered my mouth with one finger and I nipped at it, lightening the moment. 

"Shh. I know. I should probably let you get going, shouldn't I?"

"Yes. I've already been here longer than I should have been." 

I let her climb off me, standing up and pulling her close for a moment longer. I kissed her softly, sighing when she pulled away after a moment. 

"Let me check the hallway first, make sure the kids aren't back yet."

"Good idea," I said, kissing her nose and laughing when she abruptly scrunched it and rubbed it, filing that tidbit away for later. 

I glanced in the mirror and fixed my wild hair - she'd been running her hands through my shaggy Winter Soldier hair, not that I was complaining. By the time she said the coast was clear, I looked like I had before we'd come up here. I pulled on my coat and paused before her, hugging her one last time.

"Bye, Sebastian," she said, kissing my cheek. 

It took everything for me to not turn my head to capture those soft pink lips of hers one last time. I gave her a smile when she let go of me- even though my chest was aching like someone had driven a knife in it. I hated leaving her, not knowing if I'd get to see her tomorrow - but I had to. 

Stopping by the front desk, I asked for the manager and had the man behind the desk call me a cab. By the time the cab arrived, the sufficiently awed manager had promised to make sure Sadie wasn't disturbed by the press, even calling the police on them. They saw me getting into a cab, and I hoped that was going to be the end of it.


	12. 12

Sadie's POV

I sank onto the bed after Sebastian left, still trying to process what had just happened. I didn't know if I'd allowed him to kiss me because I was high and exhausted - or because I'd wanted to. It never should have happened - and it never should have went as far as it did. If he hadn't given me the chance to back away, I would have done something I definitely would have regretted. 

At least we'd finally cleared the air between us. There had been so much sexual tension between us that I'd been ready to snap. 

I wasn't looking forward to telling my husband about what had happened, but I would - as soon as I got back home. This wasn't exactly the kind of thing I could tell him over the phone; I knew how Justin would react.

I stripped and got into the shower, needing to decompress before I saw Liam. I stood in the shower until the hot water relaxed my muscles again, leaving me even more tired than before. I scrubbed my hair and face, getting all the product out and making sure all of the makeup they'd used today was off. 

Getting out of the shower, I dried off and put my hair up before pulling on my pajama's and crawling into bed. I picked up my phone to send Liam a message telling him I was back. I took a couple minutes to scroll through my Facebook feed and put an update on for my family.

I'm doing a lot better today. Got out of the hospital this morning thanks to these two! I added a picture of me, Chris and Sebastian that my nurse had taken right before we'd left. I added the same picture on Instagram, along with one I'd taken of us at the interview, captioning it: Hi Dad! Look - I'm on TV!

I'd changed my status to private as soon as I'd thought of it, but people had already found me and added me or sent friend requests. I'd added the Avengers cast that had Facebook and Instagram earlier while we were waiting for another interview, so I was amused to see that they'd all posted cheery thankful messages on my walls or tagged me in photos.

And then I saw the comments. Most of them were kind, offering prayers and well wishes. A couple were snidely rude – those ones were attacked by my friends and family. One of these stood out from the rest only because I knew who she was – Sebastian's ex-girlfriend. He and Scarlett had put her in her place right away, but I still blocked her. I didn't need to deal with that kind of behavior from another woman. She and Sebastian had been done for a while now, so why would she feel the need to attack me?

I also saw the airport picture, along with Marvel's official casting release for me, featuring a picture of me and the Russo's, along with another of me and Chris, Sebastian, Scarlett and Tom. From the amount of likes and comments on that post, it seemed like people were excited to see me in the upcoming movie.

There was also a picture from today of the three of us having lunch – thankfully my large purse had blocked them from seeing me reach for Sebastian's hand – and another of Chris hugging me, along with a larger one of Sebastian walking me into the hotel, paired with one of him leaving alone shortly after. 

The brief article that went with it only said it looked like I was ready to collapse and Sebastian assisted me into the hotel and was seen talking to the hotel staff for some time. 

I was going to have to be really careful about what I did in public for a while. Everyone was curious, and not a lot was known about me other than I was married and had two kids, one of whom was with me. The media had managed to get pictures of Chris, Tom and Sebastian interacting with Liam and they were loving it. 

The most striking picture was of Sebastian comforting an extremely upset Liam, both their hands stained red with my blood as I was being loaded into the ambulance. Chris held firmly onto a concerned Scarlett; standing nearby, Tom was talking to a police officer. The next picture of Liam was of Chris and Scarlett guiding him to the car, their arms interlinked around him. 

I must have dozed off, because I woke up a while later to my phone ringing. "Hello?" I said, answering without looking at the screen.

"Hey Sadie. Did I wake you up?" Chris asked, sounding sheepish.

"Hey Chris. Yeah, but it's okay. I should get up and move around a little bit so I don't get too stiff."

"Are you pretty sore now?"

"Yeah, I'm starting to be. What are you doing?"

"Just finishing making supper. We're having spaghetti tonight – my mom's recipe."

"That's the best kind. What's on your mind, Chris?" I asked, knowing he wasn't just calling to chat.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked so worn out earlier I was concerned you overdid it today," he said, sounding sincere.

"Amazing what a shower and a long nap will do for a person. Hey, I don't think I said it earlier, but thank you so much for looking out for Liam for me when I couldn't. I just saw some pictures from last night on social media before I fell asleep."

"No problem," he assured me. "It was the least we could do considering you took a couple bullets for us, Sadie. I take it you and Seb got things worked out?"

"Yeah, we did. We're just going to have to be friends; I know it's not going to be easy at first. How is he?" I asked, knowing that if he was fishing for information, Sebastian must not have told him anything.

"I'm not sure I should answer that," he hedged, making me worried.

"Chris," I said quietly. "I need to know. How is he?"

Chris sighed loudly. "Not good. He finally passed out a little bit ago; I've never seen him so drunk before, Sadie. Scarlett took his phone away so he couldn't call or text you, but she said she'll give it back to him in the morning."

"Oh God. He said he was okay with it when he left here," I said, my voice rising in pitch.

"Shh, Sadie. He will be - in time. It's just not what he wanted to hear. You've made yourself clear on that from the beginning."

"I know it's selfish of me, Chris, but I still want Sebastian in my life – it's just the only acceptable way is as friends. I have to think of my family, too. What would my kids think if I started cheating on their father?" 

"You did the right thing, Sadie; I know how convincing he can be." 

"Did I, though? Did I do the right thing?" I asked him after a moment. "He kissed me again, Chris - and I let it go farther than I should have."

"I hate to say it, but I'm not really surprised. I'd have done the same if I were him. So what's on your agenda for tomorrow?"

I let him change the subject and thought for a minute, trying to remember what day tomorrow was. "We're going to Neuschwanstein – that castle that all the Disney castles are modeled after – and I think a couple other places before going to the Hofbrauhaus. We leave Germany the day after tomorrow."

"Do you mind if Scarlett and I meet you at Neuschwanstein? We've never been to it before and I've heard it's worth seeing." 

"I don't mind at all. You're going to love it – it's like being in the Beast's castle for real. It's even cooler than Versailles."

"Now I have to see it! Will you forward me your itinerary so we know what time to get moving?" I heard another voice in the background and then Chris spoke again. "Tom says he wants to meet up with you and Liam at the Hofbrauhaus so he can say bye before you take off. Seb and Tom have to shoot tomorrow, but they'd probably be done by the time you go there."

"Sounds good. Speaking of Liam, I'm going to see if he's back yet. I think I hear the kids in the hallway now."

"Tell him hi for me. See you tomorrow, Sadie."

"Will do. Night, Chris."

I sent Chris and Scarlett our itinerary before climbing out of bed and poking my head into the hallway. Sure enough, the kids were just getting back and Liam made a beeline for me when he saw I was already here.

"Hey Mom – sorry, I forgot to call you to say we were on our way back. You look a lot better. When'd you get back?"

"A couple hours ago and it's okay; I got a good nap in. How was the touring today?"

"Boring. We went to so many churches! The town square and the clock were really neat."

"Did you guys eat already?" I asked. I couldn't remember if we were going somewhere tonight or not.

"No, we're just stopping in to drop our stuff off before going to the restaurant. Authentic German food tonight."

"Sounds good. I'll get changed, then. What time are we supposed to be on the bus?"

"15 minutes."

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

I woke up with a horrible hangover; my head was throbbing and my mouth felt like I'd licked a cat - my tongue was so fuzzy. Something cold hit my face, startling me into opening my eyes only to see an amused Tom Holland leaning over me and dripping water onto my face.

"What time is it?" I rasped, shielding my eyes from the early morning light. 

"Time to get up if we're going to make it to the set on time today. Get your arse moving, old man."

"Why the fuck are you talking so loud?"

"Aww, is poor widdel Sebby hung over? It's your own damn fault for drinking that much, mate. You're 34, Seb. You'd think you'd know better by now."

"Shut up, kid. Where's Chris?"

"He and Scarlett have the day off today, so they're going to see some cool old castle with Sadie and Liam – and make sure the paps leave them alone."

I groaned, sitting up and stumbling to the bathroom. A hot shower, a large cup of coffee, and some Tylenol and I'd be fine. An aching head I could deal with; an aching heart – I didn't even know where to start. Tylenol wouldn't fix that - and neither could drinking, apparently.

We made it to set with five minutes to spare thanks to Tom's crazy driving and went straight into hair and makeup. I checked my phone while they worked on me, not feeling like chatting with the staff today. My day got worse when I saw that my batshit crazy ex-girlfriend Macy had texted me. I didn't even finish reading her rant before I blocked Macy's number on my phone, Facebook, and Instagram; I was afraid she'd do something to sabotage my relationship with Sadie somehow. My assistant, Mark, brought me my phone during a break and I saw Chris and Sadie had sent me a couple pictures from their trip. Sadie's was a picture of her and Scarlett at a scenic lookout with the caption 'wish you were here.'

I sent her a selfie of me in my full Winter Soldier gear, knowing she'd like that and gave my phone back to Mark. "Check out Macy's posts," I told him. "She texted me earlier and let me have it because I didn't want to meet up with her here in town." 

"Anything specific?" he asked warily. He hadn't been a fan of Macy, not that I blamed him.

"She's taken exception to Sadie, so anything relating to her. Use my account to comment if you have to – you know the drill."

"Sure Seb. I wish I could've met Sadie. She sounds pretty cool."

I smiled. "She is and you will. The Russo's offered her that part and she accepted."

"For real?" he asked in disbelief and I nodded. "I thought that was just a rumor. I didn't think that really happened."

"It's for real, and Macy's pissed about it. You remember when she read for it?"

"How could I forget? I thought Jenny was going to snatch her bald after her reading with Chris."

I winced, having forgot about the aftermath of that reading. "Yeah, me too. But because you had to change flights at the last minute, Sadie's ticket was upgraded and that's when I met her."

"You better remember to thank me at your wedding then," he said, giving me a grin.

I shook my head sadly. "She's already married – to someone else. We're just friends."

"Bummer. Right girl, wrong time, man."

"You're telling me. Let me know if there's anything I need to take care of personally."

"Will do. That last take was my fav, btw. Just the right amount of pissed off in your eyes, Seb."

 

* * *  
Six months later  
Sadie's POV 

The worst day of my life started out ordinarily enough. I was on set for the last day of filming in Atlanta. I was almost done with all of my scenes – there was just this one long final sequence to film. 

I had taking to acting better than I thought and I really enjoyed it. I was looking forward to being done for a while, though. I'd already been away from home for about two weeks and I missed my family. That was the hardest part – being away from them for weeks at a time, but it could be worse, my character was a relatively minor one; Chris had to be on set almost all the time.

My last scene was one that I'd read as a screen test with Sebastian, and I wasn't looking forward to it, mostly because I knew it would probably cause another fight when I told Justin what we'd filmed today. 

He'd forgiven me for kissing Sebastian that day - mostly because he knew how overly emotional I was when I was exhausted and how loopy pain pills tended to make me. He still didn't like it that I had to kiss Sebastian for work, but this acting thing was something that had taken some getting used to for all of us.

Over the past six months, my relationship with Sebastian had settled into a sort of charged friendship. We still wanted each other as much as we had at first, but we had become very close friends as well. He and Chris spent a lot of time with me and my extended family when they had a longer block of time off from filming. I liked having company and they'd decided that they liked being in the middle of nowhere sometimes. 

The boys and Justin liked having them around to do guy stuff with – Justin just liked showing the 'city slickers' up at everything, I think. The boys soaked up the attention like sponges. The first time Sebastian had stayed with us was about a month after the shooting. He and Justin had went out fishing alone, and apparently come to some kind of understanding. Neither of them would tell me what that understanding was, exactly; but at least they got along - mostly.

"You ready, doll?" Sebastian murmured quietly in my ear, coming up next to me and putting his arm around me. He almost always used that term of endearment with me when he was playing Bucky these days. To his amusement, it had become my official nickname once Mackie and RDJ heard him using it. "You looked like you were a thousand miles away." 

"1,362 miles to be exact," I said as I leaned into him and put my arms around him in return. "But yeah, I think so. I like it better now that they rewrote it."

"Me too. It just felt forced before."

The Russo's beckoned us forward, so we headed out onto the set arm in arm. "All right, Sadie. We've got two extra cameras rolling for this scene," Joe said.

"Good, because I don't want to have to do it very many times," I said with a grin. 

"Then knock our socks off, doll," Anthony put in. He'd found the old-fashioned endearment/nickname incredibly amusing – especially coming from Sebastian and Chris.

"That's the plan, darling," I said with a grin as we moved into position. I had to look away from Sebastian to get myself mentally where I needed to be. This was going to be the most emotionally demanding scene I'd ever done.

 

Scene

"I have to go, Bucky. I don't belong here," I said, looking up at him with sad eyes and backing away from him. 

"You belong here with me, doll. Stay," he pleaded softly, matching me step for step. 

I shook my head. "I can't. I've got a life to get back to. I did what I had to get you here, but you don't need me anymore."

"I need you, Evie - I do! When I'm with you, I can remember who I used to be."

"You've got Steve to look out for you again," I said, my voice catching. 

"He's not you." He brought one hand up and stroked my face gently, closing the distance between us. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of -"

I cut him off with an angry gesture. "No, the Soldier did – you didn't. That's a huge distinction. I hate it when you put yourself down like that! You have the chance to do something good – make the world a better place - you should take it."

He smiled the prewar Bucky's smile. "I know that now - but you didn't let me finish, doll. I was gonna say that I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, but loving you isn't one of them."

"You...love me?" I asked in surprise.

"Ever since the first day I met you and you told me off," he confirmed, his beautiful stormy blue eyes holding mine - and I was certain that wasn't really his line but it gave me what I needed to say mine. 

I smiled softly, thinking of that day on the plane and letting regret creep into my tone. "But this – all of this craziness – is your world, Bucky, not mine. I'd only hold you back." 

He shook his head. "You don't hold me back, Evie. You never have." 

He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to his, his lips tentatively covering mine in our character's first kiss. My eyes closed and I brought my hand up to his shoulder, letting myself just feel everything my character would leaving the love of her life because it would be better for him that way. Tears spilled down my cheeks, my heart aching because this felt so real.

"Evelyn, I love you!" he said as he kissed me again. "And if you leave, I leave with you because I don't want to live this life without you." 

"Bucky," I said with a sigh as he kissed me deeply, not holding anything back. One hand came up and tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to me until I finally drew back enough to see his face. "You have to go now."

"Not without you!" he protested, not letting go. 

I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight. "I'll be here when you're done saving the world, Bucky Barnes. You know where to find me."

I let go of him, but he stopped me with one hand. He looked at me for a moment before taking off his dog tags and sliding them over my head. "I'm holding you to that, Evie." 

He kissed me once more before letting go of me, his eyes memorizing my face before he turned and ran to the Quinjet that was waiting for him. I wrapped one hand around the warm metal, the other hand coming up to my face, touching my lips. I stayed that way until the director called 'cut.' The makeup people came up to me, handing me a box of tissues so I could dry my eyes and blow my nose. 

"Thank goodness for waterproof mascara," I said with a watery grin, making them laugh. 

Sebastian came over to me after they were done, pulling me into his arms and just holding me until I was relaxed again. "Ready for another take? You're doing great, Sadie."

"Thanks," I replied. "I'm not quite ready yet, but at least my makeup is." 

Good thing they set up several cameras for my takes when they were emotional scenes like this. I'd learned I could only handle doing this three, maybe four times before I was emotionally done for the day. After the second take, Joe and Anthony told me to take a short break while they checked the film to see what other angles they needed, which meant we needed to do two more takes to get everything they wanted, finally getting to wrap. As we celebrated finishing filming, Sebastian's assistant Mark brought my phone to me.

"Sadie, it's Liam. He said it was important."

"Thanks, Mark," I said, smiling at him. "Liam, what's up honey? I just got done for the day."

"Mom, I have to tell you something," he said, his voice toneless and shaky.

"Liam, what's wrong?" I asked, instantly alarmed. "Are you all right? Are you having a reaction?"

"No, I didn't eat anything I shouldn't have. It's Dad, Mom. He... he was in an accident," he said, his voice breaking. "They said... a semi ... a semi ran a red light.... and ... and hit him." 

Dread coiled in the pit of my stomach. I took a deep breath and asked a question I was afraid to hear the answer to. "Liam, I need to know - is Justin all right? Is Dad okay?"

"No – he was in the blue pickup, not his work truck. He's in the ICU now, but they don't think he's gonna make it. They were gonna fly him out, but Grandma said to keep him here."

I closed my eyes, attempting to process what he was telling me. A light weight Ford F150 wouldn't have stood a chance against a semi at 30+ mph. 

"I'll get a flight home as soon as I can. Are you and Isaac all right?"

"We're fine; we weren't with him when it happened. Grandma just picked us up from practice a little bit ago. She said she tried calling, but she just got voicemail."

"I'm sorry, baby. I can't have my phone on me when I'm on set. Mark had it, but he usually doesn't answer it for me. I need to make a couple calls, but I'll call you back in a little bit, okay honey?" 

"Okay Mom." 

I ended the call, walking back over to Mark. "Can I ask a huge favor of you?"

"Anything, Sadie. Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"I need a flight home right away. Within the hour if you can. Please," I said, trying not to think right now. "Or to either Sioux Falls or Fargo if you can't get one all the way in. I'll drive if I have to."

"I'll get right on it," he said, pulling out his phone, his expression concerned. 

 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

Mark signaled that he needed me and I knew something was wrong the minute I saw Sadie's face. She was pale and looked like she was either going to faint or throw up.

"Is Liam okay?" I asked, coming up beside her, catching her as she started to collapse and pulling her into my arms. "Sadie, what's wrong?"

She stared at me wordlessly as tears filled her beautiful brown eyes again. I just held her close, rocking her in my arms for a long moment until she could speak again.

"It's Justin..." she finally said, resting her head on my chest. "He's... he's been in an accident."

"Oh, Sadie – that's horrible! Is he going to be all right?" This set her off again and I caught Chris' eye and motioned for him to get over here. He said something to Scarlett and started making his way over.

Sadie shook her head. "I have to get home as soon as possible," she sobbed quietly, still distraught. Chris came up us, putting his arms around us both and quickly realizing we weren't celebrating.

"I'll go with you, Sadie," I said, "you shouldn't be alone right now."

"You're leaving?" Chris asked, taking her from me gently. 

I got my assistant's attention. "Mark, did you get tickets?"

"Yes. I got one for you, too – 1st class for you both. You'll make the connection in Sioux Falls to her town in plenty of time – it's faster than driving."

"Thanks, Mark. I appreciate you doing this so quickly – I think time's our enemy right now," I said, looking back over to Sadie. Chris'd pulled her into a tight hug, almost squeezing the air out of her. "Can you make sure my bags get in Chris' car?"

"No problem. You better get out of that if you're going to leave soon," he said, gesturing to my Bucky costume.

"I will," I said, walking back over to them to catch the end of their conversation.

"Sure. Did you get everything from my place already?" Chris asked. Sadie had been staying at his apartment for the past couple weeks, which had been great for all of us.

"Yeah. I packed last night to make sure I didn't forget anything." 

"Is Seb going with you? Because I can tell Ma there's been a change of plans and go with you now if he can't. She'll understand." Chris and Sadie had planned on driving back to Boston from Atlanta after we wrapped to spend a couple days with Chris' family before flying back to South Dakota so he could spend a week with her family while her boys were still on summer break.

She nodded, "Yeah, he is."

"Good. I'll get things lined up and head for your place as soon as I can, so keep me in the loop. I'll let the Russo's know what's going on, okay?" She nodded, then went to go get changed back into street clothes. 

"Do you know what happened?" Chris asked as soon as she was out of earshot.

"Sort of. I only know that Justin was in an accident of some kind, but the boys are okay."

"It still sucks, but I'm really glad it wasn't one of the boys," he said, and I knew what he meant. Those kids were Sadie's life and losing one of them would devastate her. Chris gave me a hard look and put one hand on my shoulder, lowering his voice so only I could hear him. "Seb, she really needs you to be her friend for now, but if you can't do that, you need to let me know right now and I'll find a way go with her now."

"Give me some credit!" I said, glaring at him. "I know that already, Evans."

"Sebastian, she's going to need you more than you think and it's going to be up to you to take care of her. I'll be less than a day behind you if I get everything taken care of today." 

* *

We quickly farewelled everyone and headed to the airport, Chris driving and Sadie in the passenger seat. She had a tight grip on Chris' hand as she stared out the window, making phone call after phone call to inform their families what was going on. One of her sisters was going to pick us up at the airport, so we'd have a ride to the hospital without dealing with any paperwork. 

I grabbed her bags and mine, following a ways back while Chris guided her through the airport, one arm around her protectively and talking to her in a low voice. Her eyes were red, but she wasn't crying right now. I hoped she'd get a chance to sleep on the plane because she looked exhausted. He managed to get her to crack a smile, and by the time we boarded she had a little color back in her cheeks. 

She stared out the window silently while we took off, and I could tell she was trying desperately to keep it together, one hand fisted around the dog tags she still wore. In her haste to leave, she'd forgotten to take them off after the last scene and hadn't realized it until she set off the metal detector at the airport. 

As soon as we leveled out, I pulled her into my arms. She curled up in her blanket and closed her eyes, shifting so she could lay her head on my chest. Silent tears dripped from her eyes, soaking my shirt until she fell asleep. I didn't wake her until we were ready to begin our descent and I had to put her in her own seat. Her hand reached for mine, twining our fingers together.


	13. 13

Sadie's POV

We made it to the hospital just in time for me to get a chance to say goodbye to Justin. Liam and Isaac met us at his room, putting their arms around me, crushing me between them until Sebastian peeled them off me.

"Give your mom a minute alone with your dad, boys," I heard him say, thankfully managing to get the boys out of the room. Justin wouldn't want them to see him die – not like this. I stopped listening to their conversation, focusing on the still form before me. 

He was always such a vibrant person that it was so strange to see him looking like this. I knew it wasn't going to be long now. I didn't know how I knew it, but I did. 

"Honey, I love you so, so much," I choked out, taking his cool hand in mine, the callouses from years of hard work rough against my smooth, manicured hands. "I wish you could stay, I really do, but it's okay for you to go. I'm glad you held on until I could get here." I squeezed his hand and leaned over to give him one last kiss on his forehead, even though he couldn't feel it. "I know they tried, but they just can't fix you. I love you and I know you know that. It's okay, Justin. You can go now; I'm here for the boys." I rambled on for a little longer, the rise and fall of his chest slowing and the beeps of his heart rate becoming further apart until they finally stopped. 

I don't know how long I sat there, just holding his hand until Sebastian came in and guided me out of the room. The boys threw themselves at me and I held onto them tightly while we cried. The nurse came to talk to me and Justin's mom about arrangements and Sebastian took the boys, bodily picking up Isaac when he wouldn't let go of me and letting the boy cling to him while he put one arm around Liam's shoulders, steering him to the waiting room where the rest of my family was gathered.

* * *

Sebastian's POV

I hated leaving Sadie on her own to make arrangements, but it wasn't my place to stay with her and this wasn't something the boys needed to be a part of. One of Sadie's brother-in-laws came over to take Isaac from me, but the poor kid just held on tighter, almost choking me with his tight grip on my neck.

"He's fine, thanks. I don't mind," I said, letting go of Liam to reassure Isaac. Liam went over to his aunts and they hugged him while I rubbed my hand over Isaac's back soothingly. I knew both boys had been close to their dad, so this was going to be rough on them. Eventually the kid cried himself out and just limply sniffled into my shoulder.

"What'cha thinking, Ike?"

He ground his chin into my shoulder. "I hate that nickname. Did Grandpa tell you to call me that?"

"Yup. Your uncle said you liked Izzy even less."

"Izzy's a girls name," he said, sounding peeved. "You can put me down now, Sebastian."

"You sure?" I asked and he nodded. I set him on his feet. "You know you can call me Seb or Baz if you like, Isaac."

"I like Se-bas-tian," he said, giving each syllable emphasis, like he always did. "Besides, that's what mom calls you."

"Sadie calls me a lot of things – especially when I make her mad."

"She cusses at you?" he said, his eyes getting big.

"Sometimes, but I think dingbat is my favorite."

He gave me a watery chuckle. "She calls you a dingbat?"

"More than once. I think she likes Chris better than me. She doesn't usually call him names unless he tickles her."

"Mom hates being tickled," he said with a grin.

"Yeah, I know. She doesn't hit like a girl, either."

"You must have made her really mad, then."

"Yup – it was during fight training. I kept sneaking up on her and surprising her, so she punched me. Left a bruise, too." I pointed at my bicep, flexing my arm to make the muscles stand out.

"No way!" Isaac said, poking at my arm. "Someday my arms are going to look like that."

"It took a lot of work to get these," I said, feeling my phone buzzing. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see that I had a text from Chris. "Chris says he's on his way. He's just leaving Atlanta now, so he'll be here around midnight."

"Did he say how long he's staying this time?"

"Why don't you message him and find out? He can get iMessages on the plane."

"Liam has our phone," he said, biting his lip the same way that Sadie did when she was planning something. "But I think I can get it without him noticing."

"Why don't you just ask him for it?" I said, clearly not understanding something.

"That takes all the fun out of it. Besides, if he knows I wanna talk to Chris he won't give it to me."

"Is that one of those brother things?"

"You're missing out. You should've had a brother, Sebastian."

"That's what I have Chris for," I said, shaking my head as Isaac flashed his mischievous grin.

"You're very good with them," Sadie's baby sister Katie said as she came up to me. She was one of my favorite people to talk to. "It's clear that they adore you. When you going to have a couple of your own?"

"Need a wife first, Katie." I reminded her as I hugged her lightly, her protruding belly keeping me from getting too close. "They're great kids. Where's my Gracie?" I said, looking around for my little blonde cuddle buddy.

"With her dad. They're coming up tomorrow afternoon. She and Bryan are too little to really understand yet, so it's just easier if they aren't underfoot."

"Are you staying at Sadie's?"

"Yeah. I usually do. I don't really want to sit in the car for another hour and a half to Dad's."

"I don't blame you. When's Gracie 2.0 going to join us?"

"Not for a while yet. I've still got two and half months to go, so she can stay right where she is for now." She patted her stomach lightly.

I put my hands on Katie's belly and leaned down to talk to the baby. "Hey baby girl. You better be good to your mama for a while longer, okay?" She started moving around as I talked and I grinned up at Katie, who winced as the baby kicked particularly hard at my hand.

"Sebastian, quit riling her up," she groaned, and I massaged the spot gently as she kicked at me again.

I straightened up. "I can't help it she likes me."

"Bast-"

"Shh- she can hear you, Katie-cat," I teased, taking my hands off her belly. "So what's the plan now?"

"I don't know yet. Have you eaten?"

"Not since lunch. You got room for me and the boys? Maybe we should to get them something to eat."

"I'll tell Sadie where we're going, then," she said, making her way through the crowd of people as I typed a quick response to Chris.

Me: He's gone – never woke up. We made it here just in time. 

Chris: I'm just glad she made it. I should be there by midnight or so.

Me: See you when you get here.

* *

It was a couple hours later when we finally headed back to Sadie's house out at the lake. After eating with everyone that had been at the hospital, we'd stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things Katie said she needed – or the baby needed – I wasn't sure which, but I went along with it, getting a couple things I knew I liked as well that Sadie probably didn't keep in the house because it was junk food. I paid for it all, swiping my bank card before Sadie even got her purse open.

I really liked this grocery store. The staff was nice and well trained – and knew Sadie and Liam on a first name basis. Word had traveled fast, because the manager pulled Sadie aside and hugged her, offering her condolences.

"Mom used to work here when she was in college and we were little," Liam said as we headed out to the car, me and the boys carrying everything. "She stayed home with us during the day and went to work when Dad got home."

"We lived in town then, and our house wasn't far from here," Isaac added.

"I've never seen a hospital right next to a grocery store before," I said. "Looks like both buildings expanded over the years."

"Yup – a couple times."

We just pulled into the garage when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out, seeing that Chris was just going to be landing soon. The boys helped haul the groceries and our suitcases into the house, Katie directing them. I was concerned when Sadie didn't come in and went looking for her. I found her down on the dock, staring out at the lake in the bright night. I came up behind Sadie and put my arms around her. 

"Chris is just landing now, so he'll be here soon." I looked out over the calm water, feeling the peacefulness soaking into me.

"Good," she said absently. "Thanks for coming with me today, Sebastian. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, doll. I'm really sorry that this happened." I liked Justin. We didn't always see eye to eye on everything, but he was a good guy. I felt her shivering in my arms and turned her so I could hold her closer, kissing her forehead lightly. "Are you cold? This feels so good - it's like 75 degrees out."

"I've been in 100 plus degree heat for the last two weeks, so I was, but not anymore. You're like my own personal heater," she said, turning into me.

"Your hands are freezing," I complained, jumping slightly when she slid them under my shirt, warming them on my back. "Were you hugging the ice cream or something the whole way here?" That got a small laugh out of her and I rubbed my stubbled face lightly against hers, knowing how much she hated the beard.

"Quit, jerk. You gonna shave now or you going for all out homeless guy?"

"Definitely shaving. I'm glad I don't have to have this for a while again. Admit it, you're going to miss it."

"Nope. I'll miss Chris' even less."

"Good luck with that one. He likes having a beard."

"I'm going to shave it in his sleep if he gives me beard burn one more time," she grumbled.

"Something I should know about, doll?" I asked, chuckling.

"That came out wrong, didn't it?" she giggled.

"Yup. Don't say that to your sisters or you're really going to have some explaining to do."

We were quiet for a while, just watching the fireflies at the edge of the water. I rubbed my hands slowly up and down her back, working the knots out for her. She was so tense that it wasn't long before she melted into me. I'd learned how much she liked it when I did this for her when we'd been doing fight training and she'd pulled a muscle landing a flip wrong.

"What am I going to do now, Sebastian? I can't take the boys with me when we start shooting again."

"We'll think of something," I promised, wondering if she'd realized how I'd phrased that. "They can come with you sometimes if it doesn't interfere with school too much. You know they're dying to see the set."

"Don't remind me. They've been begging me to take them since I started filming, but I didn't feel comfortable with that then. Maybe now it'll be all right." I found a particularly bad spot, working it with my thumbs as she moaned quietly. "Mmm, right there, please."

"And maybe your sister would be willing to stay with them sometimes, or your mother-in-law," I suggested, trying not to think about how good it felt to have her body pressed to mine and failing miserably. "She's going to want to spend more time with them for a while, I think."

"Hmm. You're right."

She took her hands out from under my shirt, bringing them up to my chest, lightly dragging them over my muscles. I was in top physical form right now and I knew she liked the tactile feel of my hard muscles under her hands. She put her arms around my neck, hugging me tight and kissing my neck. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Sebastian. Don't you leave me, too."

"I wasn't planning on it, Sadie," I said thickly, turning my face slightly to capture her lips with mine, gently kissing her. I didn't push, leaving it up to her to decide what she wanted right now. I knew she was still reeling from her loss, but if I could make her feel better, I would in any way that I could.

 

* * *  
Sadie's POV

I knew I shouldn't be kissing Sebastian, but it just felt so good I couldn't help myself. He was so warm and strong and *alive* - everything I needed to feel right now. 

I saw headlights going over the west bridge as we walked up the hill and figured it was probably Chris. I was thankful he'd managed to get here so soon because I was just barely holding it together at this point. 

We met him in the driveway and I pointed to where he should park so I could get out in the morning. Sebastian went to grab Chris' bags while I greeted him, taking them into the house.

"How're you doing, doll?" Chris folded me into a tight hug, lifting me off my feet briefly.

"I'm here. Thanks for coming all the way out here."

"Anytime, Sadie. I know how much you loved him." He held me tighter as I choked back a sob, just letting me cry on his shoulder. 

"I can't believe he's really gone." I said when I let go of him, wiping my face off with the back of my hands. "I keep waiting for him to pull up and get into it with Sebastian about something stupid like he did every time he saw him."

"Then they'd grab a couple beers, some fishing rods and head down to the dock to fish," Chris said with a small grin. "They understood each other quite well, you know."

"I know they did."

"I asked Justin about that once – the first time I was ever here, in fact – he said he just had to make sure Seb didn't forget he loved you first. He knew how Seb felt about you, Sadie – and he knew how you felt about Seb."

"I never cheated on Justin, Chris," I said quietly. 

He held me tighter. "He didn't think you did; he was just afraid of losing you."

"I lost him instead. Can I ask a favor?" I said, hesitant to ask this of him. 

"Anything."

"Would you mind staying up with me for a while tonight? I don't want to go to sleep."

"Sadie, you have to sleep. I'll lay down with you if you don't want to be alone," he offered. 

"I don't want to be alone," I said, my voice catching in my throat.

"I understand," he said, kissing my forehead and letting go of me. "Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll say hi to the boys and get situated before I shower. They downstairs?"

I nodded, heading into the house, Chris following me. 

"Where do you want me to put mine and Chris' stuff?" Sebastian asked when I came inside. "Katie's already went to bed in the guest room. The boys said to tell you they're getting in the shower now."

"My room's fine," I said, unloading my dirty clothes out of my suitcase into a laundry basket to start a load of laundry. "Do either of you need anything washed tonight?"

"I'll run a load tomorrow," Chris said, walking past me. "I'm going to shower downstairs and get the boys moving before they use all the hot water again."

Sebastian dug through his suitcase. "I only have a few things to wash if you don't have enough for a load tonight. Otherwise I'll run them with Chris' stuff tomorrow."

I lifted the basket and walked over to him. "I don't – that's why I asked. Why don't you give me what you want to put in?"

He put a few things in the basket, glancing over at me, "Where do you want me to sleep tonight? I doubt your highly pregnant sister wants to share the bed."

"She might make an exception for you if she finds out how good you are at backrubs," I said teasingly, heading for the washing machine in the entry. 

He snorted. "I don't think she'll go for that and I want to stay on her good side. She likes me more than your other sister."

"That's because she's more like me than Maddy is." I loaded the washer and added soap, starting a short cycle while I bought myself time to think about what I wanted. I looked over to see him leaning on the doorjamb, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Sadie?" He asked cautiously. "Where do you want me to sleep?"

"I don't know. I want you with me," I said, meeting his eyes. "I do."

"But?" he sighed, looking at me for a long moment before pulling me into his arms.

I bit my lip, not knowing how else to say this. "But I just don't trust myself with you right now. It's not you, Sebastian. It's me." I laid my head on his chest, hearing his strong, steady heartbeat.

His hands rubbed up and down my back lightly. "I can sleep on the couch that's what you want, Sadie. I don't mind. Really." 

"You don't have to sleep on the couch. Chris said he'd lay with me for a while, but you can too if you want. My bed is certainly big enough for all of us."

"Not like we haven't shared a bed before. At least this time Mackie won't be kicking me the whole time or Lizzie poking me with her bony elbows and knees."

"Do I want to know?" I asked, smiling.

He laughed, letting me go and walking over to his bag to get some pajamas. "You missed out on this one – team naptime before a night shoot. We all piled into two beds in this house we were using to film in."

"Sounds like a high school sleepover. I think I had fifteen or so teenage boys sprawled all over my basement for Liam's birthday." 

He laughed quietly, imagining it. "Go get in the shower so you can get to bed, doll. You look tired."

"Such lovely things you say to me, Sebastian."

He snorted, heading downstairs. I brushed my teeth and took some sleeping pills before I got into the shower. I felt so dirty from traveling and filming, so I soaped up well, scrubbing all the makeup and product out of my hair. I got out and dried off, wrapping my towel around me to go find some pajamas, pulling on a tank top and shorts. 

Chris and Sebastian had both showered and changed by the time I was ready for bed, having pulled up my long hair and brushed my teeth. They were sitting in the kitchen, eating something my sister must have brought with and talking in low voices so they didn't wake up Katie, whose room was just on the other side of the kitchen.

"Boys are in bed already," Chris said, licking frosting off his fingers. "Isaac wants me to go fishing with him in the morning."

I nodded, not really surprised. Isaac had latched on to Chris as his buddy from the first time they'd met, just like Liam had latched onto Sebastian. 

"Liam said he just wants to sleep in," Sebastian said. "He mumbled something about school, so I assume that it starts soon."

"Next month," I said with a yawn, covering my mouth. My sleeping pills must have just kicked in because all of a sudden I was exhausted. 

"Let's get to bed, Sadie," Chris said, standing up and putting his dishes in the sink. "It's been a long day for all of us."

I nodded, watching Sebastian locking the door and turning off lights, which I found amusing. We hardly ever locked our door, which was quite different from what they were used to. "You can leave it unlocked, Sebastian. We only lock it when we're gone – well, I do. I'm not sure the boys always remember."

"Still weird, doll, but I'll leave it unlocked," he said with a shake of his head as I let Chris guide me to bed, setting my alarm on my phone.

"What time do you need to be up by?" Chris asked, sitting on the bed and plugging his phone in. "It's already almost 1."

"7. I have to be at the funeral home by 10, but I should go for a run before it gets too hot out." 

I set my phone on my nightstand and crawled under the covers. Chris turned on the lamp as Sebastian closed the door and shut the overhead light off as he came in the room. He plugged in his phone and climbed in bed on the other side of me, rolling on his side to face me. I watched as Chris turned off the lamp and felt him get into bed. I moved closer to Chris, not trusting myself with Sebastian right now. 

He shifted, pillowing my head with his arm and pulling me close, wrapping an arm around me as I made myself comfortable, tucking one of my legs between his and resting my feet on his calves. He tensed as my frozen feet touched his skin.

"God, your feet are cold!" he protested, covering them with his other leg to try and warm them faster.

"Can't be worse than her hands," Sebastian said. I dutifully splayed my hands on Chris' flat warm stomach, making him jump.

"You're right, Seb. You think she's a vampire or something? It's like hugging a snowman."

"Ha ha. You're so nice and warm," I replied. "Feels good."

"You just want me for my body," he said, pulling me closer. "Don't you?"

"Rats, foiled again! How ever did you know?" I said, laying on the sarcasm thickly - only to have it ruined by a huge yawn.

"Go to sleep, Sadie," Sebastian ordered gruffly - but I could hear the smile in his voice. I closed my eyes and let sleep take me, the meds pulling me under.

 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

Some time during the night Sadie curled up against me, her warm breath on my neck and her arm slung around my waist. Even her legs were tangled with mine. I savored the closeness, understanding why she'd been afraid to sleep with just me. She moved restlessly, turning again, and I felt the loss of her warmth. I turned, pulling her up against me and wrapping an arm around her. She sighed in her sleep, snuggling into me and wriggling her bottom against my hips as she fitted herself to me. I gritted my teeth. If I hadn't been turned on before, I was now. 

Somehow I managed to fall back asleep with the worst hard-on I'd ever had. This woman was going to be the death of me yet. I woke up again to the bedroom door opening and Isaac sticking his head in the door. I leaned over and shook Chris' shoulder.

"Your fishing buddy's here," I murmured, trying not to wake Sadie, who was curled up between us.

"Five more minutes," Chris said with a groan. Isaac took that as confirmation that we were awake and came in the room. I put my finger to my lips when he opened his mouth.

"Shh!" I said quietly. "Your mom's still sleeping. Go yank Chris out of bed."

"Okay!" he whispered, happily skipping around the bed to prod Chris into getting up. Chris shot me a dirty look but got up, herding an excited Isaac out before he could wake Sadie up. I closed my eyes again, curling up around Sadie.

"Did he leave?" she asked sleepily.

"Uh huh," I said, kissing her shoulder, the one she'd been shot in a couple months ago. She still had a red, puckered scar there, but it looked a lot better than the last time I'd seen it.

"What time is it?" 

"Not time to get up yet," I murmured, kissing up her neck. "Don't they know how to sleep in?"

"What's this 'sleeping in' you speak of?" she asked, rolling over to face me. "Can't say I've heard of it."

"I'll take that as a no." I pulled her closer so her head was on my chest and she slid one smooth leg over mine. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept, I think. It's always strange to be home again after being everywhere else." She ran her fingers over my arm and chest idly, tracing my muscle definition. "Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking," she said, going up on one elbow so she could look at me. 

"That's a dangerous pass time," I replied, quoting Beauty and the Beast with a grin.

"I know," she smiled, finishing the quote. "But I wanted to know something."

"I can already tell I'm not going to want to answer this question, but shoot."

"Why me? You could have any other girl in the world but instead you're here with me."

"You're not any other girl in the world, Sadie. You're you. You're beautiful, which is the first thing I noticed that day on the plane. You smiled at me and that was it – my heart went 'oh there you are'."

Her eyes held mine, and I felt her inhale sharply. "That's it exactly. I felt it too, I just didn't know how to describe it either, but that's it – 'there you are'."

I nodded, reaching up to stroke her face. "I didn't know I'd been looking for you until I found you, but I knew right away you'd come into my life for a reason. Mark was supposed to be flying with me that day, but he ended up having to stay to take care of a few things in person for me, so he switched flights at the last minute – making it so I sat next to you."

"Remind me to thank him the next time I see him," she said, smiling. I sat up, pulling her onto my lap, her arms around my neck and her legs straddling mine. I kissed her softly, pulling back to look at her.

"The next thing I noticed was that you were kind, smart, funny. You made me laugh so hard I thought the stewardess was going to come yell at us," I chuckled at the memory and Sadie's face flushed. She leaned forward, hiding her face in my neck.

"I think she was glad when we took a nap."

"Yes, she was. And then I got to hold you – and you freaked out when you woke up."

"I did. I did do that. I went to sleep in my own seat and the next thing I know I'm snuggled up to Sebastian fucking Stan," she said, sitting back up to look at me.

I smiled at her phrasing, "I was afraid you weren't going to come back after I let you go, but you did."

"It took me a bit to calm down. I wasn't used to getting that much attention from a guy."

"From me," I said. "You get attention from guys all the time, Sadie."

"From you," she agreed. "But that doesn't explain why me?"

"The whole time I was with you, I was happier than I'd ever been. When I kissed you the first time, it just felt right and then you ran away from me again," I said, shaking my head. "I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again."

She stroked my face lightly, her brown eyes troubled. "I wasn't supposed to feel that way about you, Sebastian – and it still scares me sometimes."

"I know, doll. It scares me too – mostly because I'd do anything to keep you in my life and I've never felt that way about anyone else."

"I just feel so guilty right now," she said, her voice becoming shaky. "Maybe if I hadn't wanted you so bad, Justin would still be here."

I cupped her face with my hand and shook my head. "That's not how the world works. I know you're hurting right now, but I want you to know that I'll always be there for you. I know it's going to take some time for you to be ready to move on," I said, seeing her eyes filling with tears. "It might take six months, it might take six years – I really hope it doesn't take that long, though." She gave me a wobbly smile. "I guess I'm trying to say I love you."

Her lips parted in surprise and she tried to move away from me, but I didn't let go of her. I'd learned that it was better if I gave her a moment to process things sometimes. I put one finger to her lips, keeping her from saying something rashly.

"You don't have to say it back, Sadie."

She pushed my hand away, putting her arms around my neck again and hugging me firmly. "We've got to have the worst possible timing in the world, Sebastian."

"Not going to argue that," I said, sighing. "But you've had me from hello, doll."

"I need some time, Sebastian."

"Okay."

"I don't know how long I'll need."

"Okay."

"And I want you to date someone else."

I exhaled deeply, shaking my head. "No."

"Yes." 

"No. Can you give me one good reason why?" I demanded, utterly bewildered. "I don't want to be with anyone but you."

"Have you ever lost anyone close to you?"

"A couple friends," I said after a moment. "We weren't close, though."

"I've lost a lot of people in my life – including my mom, a little brother, and a baby."

"Oh, Sadie," I whispered, hugging her again. "I'm sorry."

"This feels different this time – like I've lost part of myself. We were together for 17 years – that's almost half of my life. I know I'm just numb right now, but when that numbness goes away, it's going to hurt like hell."

"Don't push me away, Sadie. I can help you."

"I know you mean well, but I need to be able to grieve, Sebastian. I don't want you to put your life on hold for me."

"So you're not just worried about what people will say if all of a sudden I'm with you all the time now that Justin's gone?"

She sat back slowly, studying my face. Silence stretched uncomfortably between us, and as I watched her face, I realized she hadn't thought that far ahead yet. I wanted to take it back, but it was too late for that – I'd already said it, not thinking about how she'd take my words. 

"I won't lie; that's something I need to consider as well now that my life is public property." She climbed off me, standing up and walking to the window, moving the blinds aside to see Chris and Isaac down on the dock before turning back to me. "What will his family think? My family? Liam, Isaac? I owe it to my boys and myself to move through the stages of grief properly and be there for them because he's their father and they're going to miss him."

"I don't want to take Justin's place," I said quietly, getting out of bed and walking over to her.

"I can't guarantee they won't see it that way at first," she said, backing away from me. "I'm going to go for a run. I've got some things to think about." 

"You think too much, Sadie," I said as I pulled her into my arms and kissed her like I was never going to see her again, feeling her melt into me as our lips moved together in unison. I let go of her after a couple minutes passed with a heartfelt sigh. Things were starting to get a little heated and this wasn't the time or the place. I left the bedroom, needing to put some distance between us right now before I did something I'd regret. I could deal with blue balls; what I couldn't deal with was the guilt she'd undoubtedly feel if we went any farther.


	14. 14

Sadie's POV

"Tom Holland, if you keep eating like this you're going to gain ten pounds before you leave tomorrow," I said, teasing him as he came back from getting thirds at the meal in the parish hall after the burial. The ladies had really outdone themselves and put out a very admirable spread.

"I can't help it – these bars are all so good!" he said, popping another bite into his mouth.

"I'll pass your compliments on to the altar society ladies." 

"Please include mine as well, Sadie," Tom Hiddleston said as he pushed his plate back in satisfaction. "This fruity dessert is simply divine. I've never had anything like it before."

"Tom, we South Dakotan cooks know a solid 100 ways to bake with rhubarb," I said with a grin. "I think most other places consider it a weed."

"I look forward to sampling all of them," he said, reaching for his tea with a smile.

"Do you think it would grow in California?" Robert asked, similarly taken with an excellent rhubarb crisp.

"If you plant it, it'll grow – and spread if you don't keep it under control. Are you sure Susan appreciates you getting her work for her garden?"

"If it means I eat at home a little more often, then sure."

Katie came up then, Gracie laying on her shoulder tiredly. "Sadie, some of the family want to say goodbye before they head out."

"Who and where?"

She pointed across the room. "Our great aunts. They're over by Dad and his sisters." 

"Going," I said with a sigh. I'd been successfully avoiding them cornering me for the past couple hours, but my luck had run out. "Have you seen the boys in the past half hour?"

"They're talking to some of their friends. The golf team and the football team stopped by after practice got over – and yes, they're eating, so don't worry about them right now. Where's Baz?" she asked, using the nickname she'd decided to call him by.

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen Sebastian for a while now, but I'm sure he's around here somewhere. Why?"

"No reason," she said lightly, but I knew she had a motive of some sort. 

"Sebba?" Gracie's head popped up at Sebastian's name, taking out her paci to ask for him, her favorite blankie clutched in her chubby little hand. 

"Katie -" I said warningly, but she only smiled fakely at me.

"Alice and Shirley are waiting, Sadie," she reminded me.

"I'll get it out of you eventually," I grumbled.

"Sebba Mama!" Gracie demanded, her lower lip wobbling. I smiled at her blatant manipulation, but the kid adored Sebastian, much to all of our amusement.

"Shh, Gracie – we'll go find your Sebba now."

* * *

Sebastian's POV

"There's Sebba, Gracie. Go get 'em!" Katie set her down and the toddler took off running in my direction. I picked her up, swinging her into the air before tucking her into my arms. 

"Sebba!" She snuggled herself into me and I took her blankie and draped it over her.

"Hey baby girl. You tired?" She nodded, looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes while I stroked her blond fluff. She grabbed a fistful of my hair, wrapping her pudgy fingers in it.

"I'm so posting this on Instagram, Baz." I heard Katie say, looking over to see her watching me with amusement. "She's going to be so disappointed when we leave today."

"It's not like I won't be back," I said, smiling as she snapped a couple pictures. 

"Oh, I know you will. Does Sadie know how you feel about her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Katie." She gave me a look that was so reminiscent of Sadie that I had to smile. 

"Don't play dumb, Baz. I've seen how you look at her – like she's the only woman in the world. For as good of an actor as I know you are, you sure do wear your heart on your sleeve."

"She is the only woman in the world for me, but I'm not sure how she feels about me. We've only been friends until now and she wants to keep me at arm's length from her."

"Until now, there was always a reason for her to keep you at arm's length."

"True," I acknowledged. Her marriage had been a particularly strong reason for Sadie to resist my efforts before now. 

"It's going to take time for her to deal with things and move forward," she said with a sigh. She pulled out a chair and sat down, rubbing her belly.

"I know. She told me she wanted me to date someone else for a while."

She eyed me with interest. "And are you going to?"

"No," I said flatly. "I have no interest in anyone else."

"So there aren't any other women that your publicist says you need to be seen with?" she asked shrewdly. "No pretty costars or socialites that she's been pushing you to do things with?"

"She's always got things lined up," I said noncommittally. "I just usually tell her no unless it's a group thing."

"Then you need to take her up on some of it. I don't care if you don't want to, you need to."

I sighed, freeing my hair from Gracie's firm grip on it and taking a seat. I leaned back in my chair. "What if she finds someone else while I'm back in New York?"

"She won't. She likes you a lot, Sebastian. You know that – and if you don't, you should."

"Then why is she pushing me away?"

She studied me for a long moment before speaking. "She'd been happy with Justin for a long time – almost 20 years all together – never even looked at another guy in all that time...until she met you. She called me as soon as she got back from Europe and told me all about you. We talked through the options back then, but there were always only the two – stay...or go."

"She never intended to leave Justin, Katie. It was never really an option to her."

"No she didn't. Sadie despises cheaters, always has – especially since we caught our brother Mike's fiancée cheating on him a couple years ago. It didn't matter how much she cared for you, she wasn't going to wreck her boys' lives so she could be happy. She chose to stay, and she was content with Justin, but she never looked at him the way she looks at you." 

"I know she's going to need time to heal, but I don't understand why she wants it so there's someone between us again."

"You know better than I do that everyone's going to be watching to see if Sadie takes up with someone now that she's widowed. If it's too soon, everyone's going to think she was cheating," Katie pointed out with her typical bluntness. "That's exactly what she doesn't want to happen."

"So after a certain amount of time has passed – say a couple months – it's fine. No one expects her to not move on eventually."

She nodded. "I'd say to give it six months at least, Baz."

"So you want me to give her some space and not seem so focused on her?" 

"Give the guy a cookie!" she said with a smirk before it slowly faded. "All it takes is one picture and every detail of her life is in the tabloids again. Six months ago, she was a normal Midwestern wife and mother. Now she's a household name, in part thanks to you. It's been a big change for all of us."

"I'll try, Katie-kid. I won't make any promises, but I will try."

She put her hand on my arm and squeezed it lightly. "I'm not saying you can't talk to her or see her, but I think you need to make a few decisions as well. She's not going to uproot the boys – you know that. It'll be a few years yet before they're both out of school..."

"I see what you're getting at. I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"You're going to have to if you want to be with her. I'm going to finish making the rounds. Do you want me to take her?"

"Not a chance. I've got this, you go do your thing," I said, getting up without disturbing the sleeping toddler and heading back over to my friends.

"Who'd you steal the baby from?" Jeremy asked as I sat down beside him. "Or is there something you forgot to tell us about last year?"

"I borrowed her from Sadie's sister. This is Gracie," I said with a smile. "She's my nap buddy and I'm her Sebba."

"Sebba," Lizzie giggled, taking a picture. "Totally changing that to your contact name in my phone!" She tapped away for a moment before looking back up at me.

"You look quite comfortable with her," Tom Hiddleson said, reaching over to stroke her fluff. "Perhaps you'll have some of your own someday."

"That's the plan," I said, looking for Sadie and seeing her talking to some older women. She smiled when she saw me with Gracie draped over me. "Someday. Just think, some punk shows up to pick her up for a date and I get to go all Winter Soldier on him – priceless. Might not have to worry about her as much if he's scared of me."

Tom laughed. "I told Chris I would help him out when his girls got old enough to date. We've got a spectacular plan in place for when that day comes." 

"And his wife's gonna film it, right? Because I'd pay money to see that video," Anthony said, laughing at the thought.

"Mate, I'd totally be freaked if I went to pick up my date and didn't know her dad was Thor and he met me at the door with the hammer and everything," Holland said, eyes wide. "You do not mess with him. I think his leg's bigger than my whole body!" 

"Kid, my leg is almost bigger than your whole body," I said with a grin. "Just look at you."

Tom looked over at me and shook his head, laughing quietly. 

"Who are you threatening Seb?" Liam asked as he and Isaac came back to the table. "I see Gracie found you."

"Holland. Your mom was looking for you earlier, by the way."

"We checked in with her already," Isaac said, grabbing a cookie from my plate and munching on it as he sat down next to me. "She said to come bug you."

"I was going to eat that, punk," I teased.

"There'll be more at home," Liam said, shrugging. I felt my heart lift at his nonchalant phrasing of his home as my home as well. "There's still a lot of food left, so Aunt Maddy's trying to divvy it up. Don't eat the stuff with my name on it because I can't have the other stuff."

"Wasn't planning on it unless you've got all the good stuff set aside," I said, looking at Liam. 

He smiled and turned to the rest of the table. "I wouldn't be surprised if she sends some with you guys too. That airline food leaves something to be desired – or so I hear. Mom doesn't let me try it."

"You're not missing anything," Jeremy said. "The last MRE I had tasted better than whatever I ate on the plane."

"Can't have most of them either," Liam said. "I have a severe tree nut allergy and everything is packaged together."

"Bummer. So you can't ever have pecan pie?" Anthony said, raising his eyebrows.

"Not unless I want to die," he said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "Are you ready to go? Mom said we can head back to the house as long as we take some of you guys with."

"Yeah, sure," Tom said, hopping up. "Are we taking the boat out?"

"Sure, if you want to. Seb, are you and Chris riding with Mom?"

"Probably. We rode in with her this morning while you were picking everyone up from the airport."

 

* * * *

Sebastian's POV

I reached for my phone, grabbing it before it vibrated off the nightstand. I glanced at the screen before accepting the call, climbing out of bed and closing the door behind me as I walked to the living room. I hadn't talked to Sadie in two weeks and I was surprised to be hearing from her at this time of night. 

"Hey doll, why're you calling me so late?" I asked quietly.

"I just...needed to hear...your voice, Sebastian," she said brokenly, and I could almost hear the tears running down her face as she talked.

"Sadie, honey, why're you crying – is everything okay? Talk to me, doll."

"I don't...I don't know."

"Whatever it is - you can tell me," I assured her. The line was silent for a long moment other than her occasional sniff.

"I had...the worst dream, Sebastian. I just.." Sadie's voice trailed off and I was afraid she'd hang up.

"Just what?" I asked quickly.

"Just needed to make sure it wasn't real." 

"It's not real, whatever it was. Do you want to FaceTime me?" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, trying to make sense of what was going on. She sounded so unlike herself that I was concerned. I didn't hear anything on her end for a long moment, long enough to get worried.

"Yes, please," she said, sniffing. "If you...don't mind?"

"I don't mind at all. I'll see you in a moment, okay?"

"Okay."

I hung and called her through FaceTime, turning on a lamp and holding my phone so she could see that I was fine. I took her in, seeing her curly hair loose and wild around her face. I could tell she'd been crying and I wished I was with her so I could hold her and wipe those tears away. My chest ached knowing that I couldn't.

"Hey doll," I said quietly. "See, I'm just fine. I was just sleeping so it took me a bit to answer. Do you want to tell me about the dream?"

"It seems so stupid now, but at the time, it felt so real. I dreamed you told me you hated me and never wanted to see me again right before you died." Tears ran down her face and she wiped at them quickly. "I'm sorry. I know it isn't real now, but it just got me so upset."

"I'd never tell you that, Sadie. Never - you know that!" She nodded, biting her lip. I lowered my voice slightly, "I'm so glad you called. I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me."

"Sebastian, why are you whispering? I can barely hear you."

I wasn't sure why I was whispering, actually. I could care less about the feelings of the woman I'd left sleeping in her bed because she wasn't important to me. I shouldn't have agreed to come back to her place after dinner, but I hadn't wanted to go home alone to my place either. I cleared my throat and moved the phone closer. 

"Sorry, honey. Can you hear me better now?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding. "What did you say earlier? I didn't catch it."

"I said I'm glad you called. I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me."

She cracked a smile. "Hardly; I've just been super busy these past two weeks. We had our annual family reunion and fall sports started for the boys, so they've both had games for me to go see. For the record, golf is still really boring, but Isaac likes it."

"I could've told you that, doll," I chuckled. "He left me a detailed several minutes long voicemail about how he did...complete with a side story about a gopher."

"He didn't! I'm going to have to talk to him."

"He did - and it was cute. I saved it so you could hear it later. Mark said you called today, but by the time I left the set I barely had time to get cleaned up before rushing to keep my dinner reservation."

"Yeah, I did. My only free time has only been during your shooting times. Mark forwarded me your schedule today. I think he felt bad about having to say I couldn't talk to you when I called. He apologized like five times."

"I wish I could have talked to you earlier - that would have made my day! Filming took forever today - nothing was going right and we had to do like 50 takes before the Russo's were happy. When are you coming to town again?"

"That's what I was calling to tell you. I just got my shooting schedule today, but I'll be flying in next week Thursday for fittings. I have to be on set Friday and the whole week after that."

"I can't wait to see you. Where are you staying?"

"Chris'," she said. I opened my mouth to say she could stay with me, but she cut me off. "I know you would've offered, Sebastian, but we're going to Boston for the weekend to see his family. Lisa made me promise I'd come with Chris this time – she wouldn't take no for an answer." 

I smiled, knowing what she meant. Chris' mom was a force of nature when she wanted to be. "She always gets her way, Sadie. It's just better to agree." 

"I kinda got that out of the conversation."

"So I have something to tell you," I said, knowing that it would be better coming from me than the tabloids.

"It's bad, isn't it?" she said, becoming really still, her eyes meeting mine. 

"I don't want you to hear it from someone else, but I did what you told me to and found someone else to date for now." 

She nodded, her face falling slightly. She took a deep breath and said the last thing I expected to hear from her lips. "I wondered where you were at; I didn't recognize the background. I...umm...I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry. I didn't know -"

"Don't hang up, Sadie," I cut her off, afraid of what she was going to say. I grasped for straws, unwilling to end the conversation on that note. "Your timing is impeccable; it's just funny that you're calling me tonight because I dreamt of you too."

"Was it a good dream?" she asked, giving me a small smile.

"The best. You were at my place with me and we were making dinner together and talking, just having a great time, so when you called, it's like you knew you were in my dreams."

"Your dream sounds much better than mine. I should let you go."

"Sadie, she's not you," I said quietly, desperately wanting her to understand. "I'm only with her because my publicist said I'm supposed to be. I have to be seen with her a couple more times for the press tour."

She held up one hand. "It's okay, Sebastian. You don't need to explain yourself, not to me. I told you to go date someone else, I can't be upset with you for just doing what I asked of you."

I took a deep breath, struggling to articulate what I was feeling right now. "I want you to be, Sadie. I want to know that you care enough about me to be angry I'm dating someone else."

"Sebastian -"

"Sometimes I wish she was you - because then you'd be here with me. I miss you, Sadie." 

"I miss you too, Sebastian. It's really good to hear your voice saying my name. Hearing those words – I won't deny it makes me weaken, but I'm not ready yet, Sebastian."

"Then I'll wait for you. I can't do this, Sadie - I can't be with someone who isn't you."

"I don't know how long it'll take -" 

"I don't care; I'll be there when you're ready," I promised. My publicist would just have to stay with what I was willing to do. After this, I was done allowing people to think I was interested in anyone other than Sadie. "I never wanna say goodbye to you, Sadie."

"I'm not saying goodbye, Sebastian," she said with a sigh. "I'm saying see you later; I really need to try to get some sleep, but I'll see you next week."

"Good night," I said, staring at my phone as she disconnected, wanting to throw it across the room in frustration. I went to go find my clothes and get dressed, disgusted with myself and this whole situation. I had no one to blame but myself, but that didn't exactly make me feel better right now.

* *

I was on edge all day, waiting for Sadie to get to Atlanta. She'd texted Wednesday to say she'd bumped her flight up because the Russo's wanted her on set for Thursday's filming. They'd made some script changes involving her and wanted to try to fit them in while she was in town. I didn't see her Wednesday at all, but if she only came in for fittings, she wasn't on location like we were. She'd be at the workshops, doing final fittings for her costume and getting her hair cut and colored the way the dressers wanted it.

"There are going to be at least two extra cameras running for your scenes with Sadie," Joe informed me as I came on the set. 

"We've purposely scheduled things so that she won't see you until the cameras are rolling because we want to get her authentic reaction to seeing Bucky again for the first time in a while," Anthony said. "I just love how genuine she comes across on the first take, even if not all of it'll be usable."

"You better make sure you've got one on me," I replied with a nervous grin. "I haven't seen her in a while either."

Joe laughed and clapped me on the back. Anthony sent me to get into position, keeping me out of sight of Sadie.

* *Scene* *:

I walked quietly into the room, standing there and watching Sadie staring out the window for a long moment. She looked a little thinner than the last time I'd seen her, but still just as beautiful as I remembered.

"Evie?" I said quietly, letting her know I was there.

She whirled to face me, one hand going to her throat in alarm, just like that first time we'd met. "Bucky," she breathed, a smile spreading across her face as she approached me slowly, putting her arms around me and hugging me tight. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, doll." I said, putting my right arm around her, leaving the left at my side and hugging her tight. I could feel her ribs under my hand; she'd lost more weight than I'd thought initially.

"Can't breathe," she gasped, patting my back. 

Oops, I hadn't meant to hold her that hard because that wasn't scripted. I loosened my grip but didn't let go of her, reaching my left hand up to touch her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She backed away slightly so she could see me, bringing both hands up to touch my face, stroking the beard I'd had to let grow in again with a small smile. She slowly leaned forward, pressing her soft, sweet lips to mine, taking the initiative for the first time. 

Suddenly it didn't matter that we hadn't seen each other in person for almost two months, it didn't matter that it was too soon. I wanted her just as much as I always had and letting go of her to play my part was the hardest thing I had to do right now. I finally broke the kiss and held her tight.

"Are you back to stay?" she asked, her arms loosely around my torso.

"For now."

"It's been so long I was starting to think you weren't coming back. How have you been?" she asked, moving back to she could see my face.

"I'm okay. I'm better now that I'm with you again."

"Bucky? You need a shower and shave," she said, wrinkling her nose

"I did not sleep in a bar," I said in my defense. "I slept in a barn."

She chuckled. "And you smell like it. You know your way to the shower."

"Maybe you should join me?" I asked, kissing her again.

She pulled away and shook her head. "Can't. I have to go to work, but I'll be back at 4."

I kissed her again lightly. "Go fix the animals, doll. I'll be here when you get back."

"I hope so, otherwise I'm going to think I dreamed the whole thing." She pulled at the chain around her neck, bringing the dog tags out for me to see. I put one hand out and grabbed her arm, keeping her from taking them off.

"Keep them, Evie. They're safer with you."

I winced as if I was remembering something painful. I heard her gasp in pain and I took my cybernetic hand off her, staring at the marks I'd inadvertently left on her pale skin that they'd add in postproduction. She took a half step back and dropped her arm down to her side. I stumbled and shook my head to clear it, things becoming murky. My stance became more Soldier and less Bucky, conveying a menace to her.

"What's wrong, Bucky?" she asked, touching my hand lightly, hesitantly.

I met her eyes, focusing on her to get myself back. "Bad memory - I just had a feeling something's going to happen. Promise me you'll be careful today."

"I'll be careful, Bucky. I'll call you if I'm going to be late."

"Do you want me to walk you to work?"

"Aren't you supposed to be laying low? I'll be fine," she said, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. I stepped to the window to watch her walking down the street, only to see something horrible that we hadn't filmed yet.

"Evie!" I yelled, running out the door into the waiting arms of Hydra.

"Cut," the directors called. Sadie came back onto the set from the sidelines and we went over to the Russo's for critiquing. 

"Will you go out to dinner tonight with me?" I asked as we waited for them to back up the film so we could see it. "It feels like you haven't been here forever." 

"It has been a while. How about we just make something at your place, Sebastian? I don't feel like getting dressed up tonight and I have to be on set early tomorrow."

"That works too," I agreed. "I'll have Mark pick something up for us to make."

"Do I get to meet your girlfriend? Is she going to be there?"

"No," I said quietly, my heart aching at how casually she talked about it. "We're not dating anymore. I called it quits as soon as the publicity tour was over."

"Oh," she said, frowning slightly. "I didn't mean to cause trouble, Sebastian. I'm sorry."

"You didn't," I assured her. "It was all just for the movie, nothing more. Our publicists thought it would be good for us and since I've done that before for my other co-stars, I thought it wasn't going to be a big deal, but I just couldn't do it this time. She's not you."

We turned our attention to Joe and Anthony, who were talking through a change they'd like us to make. After running through that scene about a dozen times with slight variations, the Russo's finally released me for the day. I was more than ready to take off the metal arm and I had fight training for the next sequence and I needed to be sure I had it down because it was one of the more detailed fight scenes I had this week.

"Hey Robocop, where's Sadie?" Robert asked as he met me in the hallway on the way to the set.

"Still on set, Tin Man. She had a couple more scenes to shoot today. Why?"

"Team supper tonight at my place. Susan's making something I can't pronounce but I know it'll be delicious. 7:30 – don't be late this time."

"Sounds good. She making that cinnamon dessert again? That pastry was to die for."

"She didn't say, so I went snooping in the fridge," he said with a grin. "So I suspect she is. See you tonight, Seb."

"Wouldn't miss it," I said, slightly disappointed that I wouldn't get to spend more time alone with Sadie, but Susan was an excellent cook, and if Robert was having the team over, he had something in mind for the script. "Thanks for the invite," I said as he nodded and continued to the set.


	15. 15

Sadie's POV

I was concentrating on memorizing the script changes, so I was startled by someone pulling me into a hug from behind, the cologne telling me who it was even before he kissed my cheek, which kept me from hitting him.

"Robert, what are you doing sneaking up on me like that?" I asked, turning and giving him a hug.

"Couldn't resist. At least you didn't punch me this time."

"I recognized your cologne – you got lucky, mister."

"You got lucky," he said with a grin. "Team dinner tonight at my place, 7:30. Susan's trying some new recipes."

"Want me to bring anything?"

"I wouldn't say no if you did. Did you bring me some of those rhubarb bars this time?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," I teased him, watching his eyes light up. "I've had to try really hard to hide them from Chris."

"You did! Fantastic. I gotta go, but I'll see you tonight. Capsicle knows how to get to my place."

"Good, because I don't. Bye!"

"What was that all about?" Chris asked as he came up to me, ready for our scene.

"Team dinner at Robert's tonight. He said you know where it's at."

"I wonder what he's up to? Every time he has a team dinner, something big happens."

"I wouldn't know; I've never been to one before. You didn't eat all those bars, did you? I know you found them last night."

"Give me some credit, Sadie," Chris said, sounding exasperated. 

"I'll give you 12% of the credit, Evans," I said as I leaned over and put my arm around him, leaning into his large frame. He chuckled as he caught the reference. "Actually, I give you a lot of credit – just not when it comes to sweets. I do have two teenage boys, you know."

"Fair enough. I can't help it you're a good cook," he said with a grin. "I'd gain like 30 pounds if you cooked for me like you did at your house. You ready to do this?"

"As I'll ever be. I hadn't realized how much I missed this until I was here again, you know?"

"I do know. We'll make an actress out of you yet, Sadie." He gave me that Steve Rogers smile and I smacked his abs, covering my eyes.

"Don't give me that look, Rogers. You know I have a weakness for it."

He pulled my hand off my face and his smile deepened, bringing out his dimples. "That's why I do it. It's really good to have you back."

I snorted dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, you keep saying that like I should believe it. I know you didn't miss having your bed to yourself one bit." I waggled my eyebrows at him, making him burst out laughing.

He guided me out onto the set. "Don't let Seb hear you say that – he hits hard enough in practice as is." 

We got into position, ready to start the scene.

* *

"What am I supposed to be wearing tonight?"

"Clothes," Chris said from the shower as I finished my makeup in my underwear. We'd run a little late filming and now had to scramble to get ready and get to Robert and Susan's on time.

"Very helpful. I thought I'd go in my birthday suit and see what everyone said," I snarked. "Maybe a little artistically placed whipped cream to finish the outfit?" I remembered one of Chris' early movies where he'd worn exactly that. "Or a banana?" I suggested sweetly, hearing his chuckle. 

"That's quite the picture you just put in my head," he said, laughing. "At least you didn't have to wear that on set for hours."

"With a banana up your ass, none the less," I said, laughing as remembered the scene. I'd been so shocked the first time I saw it, but after getting to know him I was convinced it was his idea. 

"Just for the rear takes, but I wouldn't mind seeing you wearing that - Seb wouldn't either, I'm sure."

"Scarlett would," I said, putting on my lipstick. I knew she'd liked Chris for a long time, which was good. I had no interest in him physically - he was just my friend, nothing more.

"Yeah, she might," he agreed. "Ask her or Lizzie - they'll know what you're supposed to wear. I was going for jeans and a button up shirt."

"No time. Oh, I did bring a couple non-dressy dresses this trip," I said. "I'm sure one of them would work."

"Are you speaking English?" he asked, turning off the water. "I'm getting out now. Five minute warning, Sadie." 

Which meant he'd be ready to leave in five minutes, so I better get moving. I hightailed it out of the bathroom to the guest room, digging in the closet to grab a light summery dress since it was still pretty warm out. By the time I came back to finish my hair, Chris at least had pants on. We were walking out the door a couple minutes later, a Tupperware container of bars in my hand.

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

I was never more envious of my best friend than right now when he walked in with Sadie, one hand at the small of her back and laughing at some remark she'd probably made. They looked like a perfect couple stepping out of the pages of a gossip magazine as they greeted Robert and Susan.

"I can hear you grinding your teeth from here," Scarlett said. "Cool your jets – you know she doesn't see him like that." 

"How can you be so sure?"

"I'm sure," she said, giving me a secretive smile. "Plus, she's staying with me next week after they get back from Boston. She didn't want people to talk about her staying with Chris, but it made sense for her to stay with him since they were originally supposed to taking off the next day."

"You think they'd talk about Sadie and Chris?"

She gave me a pointed look. "She's available now, and as far as they know Chris is available. You know as well as I do how things get twisted to suit the occasion. Look at today's story about you and who was it again?"

"Margot Robbie," I ground out, knowing she knew very well who it was about. 

I'd been seen leaving her place last week and around town with her Tuesday night, so speculation was running rampant. I finally understood what Sadie had meant. For almost nine months, I hadn't really been seen with any particular woman more than once, other than Sadie – but that had been while she was married, and it was usually in the company of others. That explained Sadie's reaction earlier. I'm sure she thought I wasn't telling her the whole truth if she'd seen the story already.

Sadie came up and hugged Scarlett, murmuring in her ear for a moment. Scarlett burst out laughing and I looked at them curiously.

"Do I want to know?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Tell him," Scarlett said before dissolving into laughter again. I turned to Sadie expectantly to see her biting her lip.

"So Chris was being unhelpful when we were getting ready tonight and I asked him what I should wear because I didn't know if I should dress up or not."

I ignored the way my stomach twisted at the casual way she talked about Chris. I forced myself to smile at her. "And he said something stupid like clothes, right?"

"Right!" she said, grinning widely. "So I said I thought I'd go in my birthday suit and see what everyone said -"

"With maybe a little artistically placed whipped cream!" Scarlett finished, wiping her eyes. "Oh, it would have been epic!"

Blood rapidly left my head as my mind went straight to the gutter and I whistled. "That's quite the picture you just painted, Sadie."

She gave me a mischievous smile and turned to head over to the next group of our co-workers, leaving me with a painfully obvious hard on, the jeans I was wearing tonight not really allowing much room for my now engorged cock. 

"It's going to be an interesting night," Scarlett remarked, taking a sip of her wine, her red grin widening. "You're bigger than I thought you were, Seb."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult, Scarlett. Hey Chris," I said, turning to him as he came over to us.

"Compliment, you dork. So you wouldn't allow the whipped cream in your car or she talked herself out of it?" Scarlett asked Chris with a wicked grin.

"She told you? I can't believe she told you that!" he said, running a hand over his face. "I know she wasn't serious when she said it, but no, I wouldn't have allowed it in my car. You know how big a mess that stuff makes? I had to use shaving cream when I did Teen Movie. Whipped cream doesn't stay put well enough to use it."

"I forgot about that," I laughed, grabbing his left pec for a change. "You were so tiny back then!"

"Dude, that was like 17 years ago – almost half my life!"

"And look how far you've come – although you're still naked in movies," Scarlett said grinning.

"Just not naked with you in movies anymore, Scarlett," Chris said, waggling his eyebrows playfully at her.

I suddenly understood why Scarlett had been so sure Sadie wasn't into Chris. They only had eyes for each other, and I wondered why I'd never seen it before. Maybe I was too wrapped up in my own life to notice, but Scarlett had been single for a while now. It'd been at least six months since her second divorce was final. She'd filed for divorce not long after the shooting in Germany, and it made me wonder if that had anything to do with it. I had known with startling clarity who my priority was in that instant, and I would guess it was the same for Scarlett.

"So do either of you have any idea what this is all about tonight?" I asked, taking a drink of my beer.

"Nope," Scarlett said, looking over at Robert, who was talking to Sadie alone. "Bob's keeping mum about it, but it's not that Susan's pregnant because she's drinking tonight."

"Guess we'll have to wait and see," Chris said. "Maybe it's not to do with the movie. I haven't seen the Russo's yet."

"You spoke too soon," I said. "They just got here."

"Let's wander over to the others," Scarlett said, taking Chris' arm and heading for the group. I stopped in the kitchen to get another beer, only to see Sadie pouring herself a glass of wine.

"Hello Sebastian," she said without turning around.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked, stepping closer to her.

"You'll think it's silly," she warned, taking a drink and turning to face me, her face lightly flushed.

"Try me."

"Your cologne; it's quite distinctive."

"I don't think that's silly at all," I said as I stepped closer yet, so there were only inches between us. I dropped my voice lower. "Is that good or bad?"

"Neither," she said, her eyes widening.

"Either you like it or you don't. Which is it, Sadie?"

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before opening her eyes, the golden brown a narrow ring now. I could see her pulse beating rapidly in the hollow of her throat and she took another drink of wine before answering. 

"I like it on you. It would be too overpowering on most men, but it compliments your natural scent. I can pick you, Chris and Tony out of a room. The others either change colognes too often or I haven't smelled them enough to know them."

I smiled, leaning towards her and resting a hand on the nape of her neck, my thumb tracing her overly prominent collar bone. "Your perfume suits you as well. But I can't hardly smell it unless I'm this close to you."

"That's supposed to be the point of a woman's perfume," she said, meeting my eyes. "If worn properly, only those close to you know you're wearing it."

"It's not really a perfume, is it?" I asked, stepping closer. I took her glass from her and set it on the counter behind her.

I felt her take a deep breath before she answered. "No, body spray. I can't wear most perfumes. They give me a headache. Scarlett and Lizzie thankfully don't wear strong ones – at least when we room together or are going to be on set together a lot."

"I'm sorry we had to cancel our plans for tonight," I said, lowering my voice a little more and holding her eyes. I felt the leap of her pulse in the hollow of her throat at my proximity. "I was really looking forward to spending some time with you. Maybe next week?"

"I'd like that, Sebastian," she said quietly, setting a hand on my arm.

"You look very beautiful tonight, Sadie," I said as kissed her gently, needing to taste her soft lips again. I heard her inhale sharply at the contact, her lips parting slightly under mine.

I'd kissed her so many times today I should've been satisfied, but I wasn't. I'd never get enough of her kisses. I kissed her lightly, teasingly, wanting more but removing my lips from hers as she pushed me back from her gently, opening her eyes again. She simply looked at me for a moment, her eyes dark with desire. Abruptly she stepped around me, forgetting to take her wine with her in her haste to leave the kitchen.

"I'm finding this most amusing," Lizzie said as she came in the kitchen from the other side, a grin on her rouged lips. "When's the last time you had to work at seducing a woman, Sebba?"

"I couldn't tell you, Lizzie-beth. She's nothing like the kind of woman I usually go for."

"No she's not," Lizzie said, raising an eyebrow at me. "Sadie's the marrying kind, not one of the love-em and leave-em kinds you usually choose." 

"That doesn't bother me one bit. It's time I settled down and had a family; you, Chris and I are really the only ones that don't have kids, Lizzie."

She shrugged blithely. "That doesn't bother me. I'm not ready for that yet. The thought of being responsible for a baby is utterly terrifying to me."

"I am ready. I don't know what she wants, though. She's already got two teenagers."

"She's not too old to have more – I bet you'd make adorable babies; Liam and Isaac are pretty cute kids."

"I have to get her to stop running from me first," I sighed, taking a drink of my beer. "Help me?"

"Give her a reason to stay. You come on so strong that she doesn't know what to think about it. But you're going to need to put a little thought into it, you know. Take her out for dinner and movie, take her dancing, things like that. Woo her."

"She's not going to go for it if she thinks it's a date."

"So get Chris and Scarlett on board. I'd even go with you if you gave me more than a day's head's up. So would the rest of us and their wives or girlfriends."

"You'd do that? Go out for the night with us?"

Lizzie smiled and patted my arm. "On it already – we've been trying to get her to go out for a girl's night, but she hasn't said yes yet. I think she wants to, but being a celebrity is still foreign to her sometimes."

"It's the complete opposite of what she's known her whole life," I agreed, nodding. 

"And the biggest thing is that she's not ready to move on yet, Seb." I glanced over at her, gesturing for her to continue. "We talked about it on her way to New York. I was bored, so we messaged for her whole flight."

"So give her more time?" I pressed, wanting an answer.

"Bingo. It's only been like two months, if it's even been that long; she's still processing everything. How long was it after Margarita before you were ready to date again?"

"A while, I guess. I don't remember, Lizzie."

"Four months. You moped for quite a while, not that anyone other than us would know that."

"I'm still pissed at Macy for that stunt she pulled back then," I said as we walked back into the dining room together. "I could kill her right now and not bat an eye."

"Say that as Bucky and I'm running away from you now," she said with a sidelong glance.

I snorted. "Bucky's got issues, Lizzie. Why doesn't witchy-poo just fix his fucked up brain?"

"Because the directors say I can't. You apparently haven't suffered enough for them yet. How many more pictures are you locked in to?"

"Too many. Marvel owns my ass for a long time yet and they know it."

She snorted as we heard Robert calling us all to the dining room. We took our places at the table, Sadie sitting between me and Chris. She glanced up at me as I sat down, smiling slightly. I reached out and took her hand in mine under the table, running my thumb over her bony knuckles lightly. She didn't pull back, doing the same with my knuckles and lacing her fingers with mine until it was time to eat.


	16. 16

Sadie's POV

I woke up a while before Chris did. I didn't sleep a lot at the moment, even with him, but I did sleep better with him there. I laid there, the incredible amount of heat he put off warming me all the way through – the only time I truly felt warm anymore. The even rise and fall of his chest under my arm and the steady beat of his heart under the palm of my hand was comforting, pulling me back to sleep, and I let my mind drift. 

Chris had never once given me the pitying look I expected when I asked if I could sleep with him in his bed, he'd only made room for me and pulled me into his arms, just holding me. Months later, we now had our own routine. I knew he didn't expect anything from me and I didn't want anything from him other than the comfort his presence gave me. I was lucky to have such a great friend; I just wished he lived closer to my home.

I woke again later to Chris rubbing his beard on my shoulder. I reached back and shoved his face away lightly. He knew I hated it when he did that - which is exactly why he did it. Best friend or not, he still liked to annoy me sometimes.

"Morning sunshine," he said, rolling over onto me and squishing me in retaliation.

"Can't breathe," I gasped, slapping his side lightly. "Get off me, Chris."

"I'm only like 50 more pounds than you," he said, lifting himself up onto his elbows, taking the majority of his weight off my torso. I pulled in a deep breath, filling my starved lungs.

"More like 75, Chris. I'm only 125 pounds."

"You're too skinny, Sadie. How much you wanna bet that's the first thing Ma tells you?"

"I'm not betting against you on what your mom's gonna say, dork. You're mom's Italian. My experience with Italians is that if they're not feeding someone, they're not happy."

He made a noise of agreement as his eyes searched mine. "How much weight have you lost, Sadie?"

"I don't know, maybe 20 pounds. Why?"

He traced my collar bone with one finger, then the ridges of my sternum. "These stand out now; they didn't use to. Hugging you is like hugging a bag of bones – there's nothing to you."

"I eat," I said, mildly offended. When I remembered to, I added silently. I forgot to eat a lot these days. The boys usually had cereal for breakfast in the summer and we ate supper together as a family most of the time, but unless I was with others, I usually didn't eat lunch.

"Not enough," he said firmly, rolling us so I was on top of him.

"I'm just not hungry," I argued. He poked at my hip bones, his large hands almost spanning my waist.

"Not hungry? You hardly ate anything last night at Bob's and said you were full."

"I was full. It was good, I just couldn't eat anything more." 

A shadow flickered across his face. "Promise me you'll take better care of yourself, Sadie. I will drag you to see my psychiatrist if I don't think you are; you look anorexic."

"I'm not anorexic. I'm eating and not even really exercising, not like -" I clamped my mouth shut before I said too much, but he'd been listening.

"Not like before? You've dealt with anorexia before, haven't you?" His hands tightened around my arms and he sat us up so I was straddling his legs. "When?" I looked away from him, not wanting to answer, but he wasn't going to give up, making his voice deeper and firmer - more commanding. "When, Sadie?"

"A long time ago," I said, prevaricating. He simply gave me a look, so I sighed. "High school, sophomore year." 

"Turn around and take your shirt off so I can see your back," he said abruptly. I arched an eyebrow at him, but his face was resolute. "Just do it, Sadie."

I freed my legs from the now tangled covers and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling my running tanktop over my head so he could see my back. I crossed my arms and covered my breasts with my hands, looking back at him over my shoulder.

He sat behind me, his fingers ghosting over the three scars on my back, tracing my shoulder blades, my ribs and the ridge of my spine. When he removed his hand I slid my shirt back on and turned to face him. He looked at me intently and brought a hand up to cup my face, his cobalt eyes unreadable. 

"I'd like to take you to meet with someone. Even if you don't think you need help, I think you should see them anyways. Grief does things to people and this isn't something to mess around with. I'm guessing you didn't see anyone back then."

"Who would I have seen? The high school guidance councilor?" I shook my head, trying to look away from him, but he wouldn't allow it. 

"I'll have Josh set something up for you," he promised. "He can get your shooting schedule and find a time that will work. Okay?"

I stared at him for a long moment, and he met my gaze without blinking. "Okay, but only if you'll tell me why this is so important to you. This isn't just because of me – but I hit a nerve somehow."

He nodded, pulling me into his lap and putting his arms around me. "I spent time modeling when I was younger, you know? Trying to get my face out there, get recognition. I made some good friends with some of the girls I worked with." I nodded, taking his hand in mine and twining my fingers with his. "I moved on to acting, made my big break fairly quickly. When I did that ad for Gucci a while ago, I asked about those girls, wondering where they were now because I didn't see them anymore." I think I knew where he was going with this, but he wasn't done talking yet. "I finally found out that they're all long gone – their bodies shut down or they got too sick and they died. I can't watch you destroy yourself, Sadie. You're too important to me for me to be able to stand back and say nothing."

His blue eyes stared into mine as he brought out his most compelling argument when I didn't say anything. "If you won't do it for me, do it for Liam and Isaac. They just lost their dad - they don't need to lose their mom, too."

I put my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and fighting back tears. He ran his hands slowly over my back until my alarm went off, reminding us we had places to be today. I kissed his cheek and murmured, "Thank you," before sliding off his lap and heading for the shower.

I quickly packed my bags to take with us so that as soon as Chris was ready to leave tonight we wouldn't have to double back to pick up our stuff before heading to Boston. I was actually pretty excited to meet Chris' family. I was supposed to go see them back in July when we wrapped in Atlanta, but then Justin had died and everything had changed. 

I talked to the boys while we drove to the set; they were just getting up to get ready for school back home.

"So Seb called last night, Liam said. Wanted to talk for a while, know how football was going, that kind of stuff."

"That's nice," I said, unsurprised. Chris and Sebastian called at least once a week to talk to the boys unless they were on location somewhere they didn't have reception. "Did you get your guy talk in?" I teased, waiting for Liam's response.

"Mooomm!"

I laughed. "You know I'm just teasing. So what did you tell him?"

"That it was fine – I told him about the touchdown I made last game and Isaac told him about making it to State for golf. We all talked for like an hour and then he asked if he could take you on a date with Chris and Scarlett. I didn't know they're dating. Isaac did you know Chris is dating Scarlett?"

His abrupt change of subject startled me. "They have been for a while now, but keep that to yourself, okay?"

"Isaac didn't know that either; so it's a secret?" Liam asked, sounding excited. "I ship it."

"I do, too - and yes it kind of is for now. You can ask Chris about it later when he's not driving because people here are nuts, Liam." Chris held his hand out for the phone and I batted it away. "Keep your eyes on the road, Evans. You can talk to them this weekend. What did you tell Sebastian?" I asked Liam, who was laughing at how I talked to Chris.

"That it was all right with us. You should go out with your friends and have some fun, Mom. You're always telling me and Isaac to go do stuff with our friends and then you sit at home by yourself. And don't say that isn't true because you know it is. If me or Isaac don't have something going on or the girls don't have a game, you're home alone."

I closed my eyes, fighting to keep my voice level as tears escaped from my eyes. They saw so much more than I thought they did. I hadn't fooled them at all. "You're right, honey. I'll try to go out with my friends a little more, both here and at home, okay?"

"Good. Seb said he knows you still miss dad, and that's okay because you're always going to miss him, but he still wants to spend time with you."

I hit mute as a choked sob escaped me, taking a moment to get myself under control before I could respond. They'd taken me by surprise with that statement. I felt Chris's warm hand on my back, rubbing it lightly. 

"Yeah, I do miss him - every day, just like you guys do." My voice wasn't as steady as I would have liked, but that was normal these days.

"I think Seb really likes you a lot. Even Isaac thinks so."

I took a deep breath before I asked bluntly, "And you two are okay with that?"

"Yeah, we are. We've gotta get moving now, Mom. Talk to you tonight?"

"I'll call you before bed. Have a good day at school, honey."

"Bye, Mom. Have a good day filming!" 

"I will. Bye."

"Are you okay, Sadie?" Chris asked as I set my phone down.

I fished in my purse for the ever-present packet of tissues I kept there and blew my nose. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, wiping the tears from my face. "I will be eventually. I'm sorry I'm such a mess today."

"It's okay. We have time. Gotta give the makeup people a challenge once in a while, huh?"

"Keep telling yourself that, pretty boy."

"What did the boys know?" he asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

"My kids just told me it's okay to go on a date with you, Scarlett and Sebastian. Sebastian asked my teenage sons if he could take me on a date, Chris. I don't even know what to think about that!" I said incredulously, shaking my head. I still felt like I'd been blind-sided.

"Are you okay with it?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Did you know about this?"

"Seb mentioned something to me last night about trying out a new restaurant that supposed to be really good," he hedged, glancing over at me to gauge my reaction. I studied him for a moment.

"You knew – and you approve?"

He nodded and flashed me a smile. "I do. I think you're good for him, Sadie – and maybe he's good for you, too. You don't have to hide your feelings for him anymore, you know."

I gave him a searching look while we were at the stoplight. "I'll go, but only if you guys come with. No last minute ditching or I swear I'll kill you myself, so help me God."

"Fair enough," he said with a grin, leaning over and pulling me into a hug. "You won't regret it, Sadie."

* *

It was pretty late by the time we pulled in to Chris' mom's house and I was exhausted from the long day. Grabbing our bags, we headed to the door.

"Ma – we're here!" Chris yelled loudly he unlocked the door to let us in. 

Dodger came running for us and Chris quickly dumped his bags and reached down to grab him and give him attention before he noticed me. Dodger hadn't knocked me over in a while, but that didn't mean he still wouldn't for as excited as he was. I scratched behind his ears and cooed at the wriggling dog once Chris had a firm grip on him before the rest of Chris' family reached us.

"It's about time! I thought you'd be here hours ago," Lisa said, pulling her large son into a hug.

"We got a late start - it took foreveh to wrap! Then the drive took foreveh - we've been up since 4 am. This is Sadie everyone," Chris said as he started naming off his family members for me, his Boston accent coming back in full force just being around them. I held out my hand only to have Lisa pull me into a tight hug - I knew where Chris had learned his hugging from.

"Thanks for coming, Sadie. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Thanks for having me here, Lisa – not that you were going to take no for an answer."

"I've wanted to meet you for a while now," she said, squeezing tighter. "Oh, there's nothing to you, honey!"

"That's what I've been tellin' her! I think my suitcase weighs more than she does, Ma," Chris said, throwing me under the bus. 

I gave him a look that he'd clearly anticipated because he burst out laughing. Lisa let me go and I got hugs from the rest of Chris' family before we were herded to the dining room. 

"I'll put our bags in my room, Sadie," Chris said, shooing me on. 

I nodded, listening to Scott telling me a funny story that I hadn't heard yet. I'd met him several times already when I was staying with Chris in California and enjoyed his personality. It was nice, being with Chris' family. They were as close as mine, so it was almost like being at home for a holiday with everyone talking over each other, laughing and joking. Lisa was a good cook and no one was in a hurry, so I took my time trying a little of everything. 

Chris kept sneaking food onto my plate when I wasn't looking until I threatened to stab him with my fork, giving him a 'knock it off' look. "If I want more, I am perfectly capable of getting it myself, Evans."

"Sorry Sadie," he said quietly, giving me an apologetic look. "I'll stop."

I knew he'd meant well and he quit after that. I'd done as he'd asked and met with the psychiatrist he'd recommended. I was actually intending to go back again; she wasn't what I expected at all and talking to her had actually helped me a lot. I wasn't going to get better overnight, and it was going to take time to regain some of what I'd lost. 

My phone buzzed while dessert was being served and I glanced at the screen. "It's Liam," I said, glancing over at Chris before getting up to go outside to take the call. "Sorry – I have to take this. It's my son." I hit accept and put the phone up to my ear. "Hey honey, what's up?"

"Did you guys get to Chris' yet?"

"An hour ago. We're just finishing eating; his mom, Lisa, makes a killer chicken fettuccine Alfredo. Isaac would be in heaven right now."

"Yuck, white sauce!"

"What are you guys doing tonight?"

"Going to watch your new movie with a bunch of the guys."

"Drive safe. Is grandma staying tonight or do you just have to check in with her?"

"Just check in. Aunt Maddy's coming tomorrow for the weekend, right?"

"Yeah, and then Chris and I will be flying out from here on Tuesday morning."

"Next time we get to go to Boston with you, right?"

"We'll see. Chris said he wanted to take you guys to a game sometime when it didn't interfere with sports or school. Don't ask me what kind of game - I don't know and I don't care as long as that's what you guys want to do."

"Cool!" Liam said, sounding impressed. "Isaac wants to talk you Mom."

"Put him on. Have fun at the movie, honey."

"Hi Mom," Isaac said, sounding a little out of breath.

"Hi Isaac. How was your day?"

"Great! We had pizza for lunch. Can I talk to Chris?"

"I see how you are," I teased. "You don't want to talk to me at all?"

"I need to ask him a question."

"Fine. Let me go get him, okay?"

"Okaaay."

I laughed as I went back into the dining room and tapped Chris on the shoulder. "Isaac wants to talk to you."

He smiled and held out his hand so I gave him my phone and sat down to eat my dessert – my favorite, tiramisu with a ton of mascarpone filling. My first bite had me moaning in ecstasy. "Lisa – this is the best tiramisu I've ever had!"

"Why thank you, Sadie," she said, beaming. "I'm glad you like it. Chris wanted cannoli but I wasn't sure if you liked them or not."

"I can't say I've ever met a dessert I didn't like," I said with a grin, digging in and listening to the conversations going on around me. Chris came back a little later and gave me back my phone. I smiled up at him. "Anything I need to worry about? He sounded like he was in a good mood."

Chris shook his head and put his arm on the back of my chair, leaning closer so I could hear what he was saying with the noisy conversations going on around us. His family was even louder than mine - and that was saying something.

"He just wanted to talk for a little bit and Liam said he couldn't call me. He said they're going to see our movie tonight. I thought they'd seen it already?"

"They did, but they're going with friends tonight. I'll tell Liam to stop bossing Isaac around again. You'd say if you couldn't talk because you were busy."

"Of course - he knows that, Sadie," Chris said, his fingers playing with the curls at the nape of my neck that had escaped my ponytail. "I told both of them that again tonight. Liam said he'd text you when they got home."

I squeezed his knee. "I'm a horrible mother - I don't think I remembered to tell him to that." 

"No problem - and you're a great mom who just has a lot on her plate right now. I don't know how you do it, parenting from 1,000 miles away." He took my abandoned spoon from my plate and went for my last bite of tiramisu. I let him, since I was already full, but he just handed it to me to finish off.

"Me either, some days. I really appreciate you and Sebastian helping me out with the boy stuff," Chris made a face and rolled his eyes as I corrected myself. "Sorry MAN stuff, my bad. I forgot they hate it when I remind them they're still boys."

"According to my mom, I'm still a boy," he laughed, lowering his voice.

"I wasn't going to argue with her on that," I teased, licking my spoon off and yawning. "You want first shower?"

"You can have it tonight - I think I got my second wind. You gonna fall asleep right here?"

I let my head rest on his arm behind me and smiled up at him. "Only if I get to use you as my pillow. You gonna show me where I'm supposed to sleep or am I just opening doors until I find my bags?"

"Are you saying I'm a bad host?"

"No, I'm saying you haven't given me the nickel tour yet."

"Oooh, a whole nickel all for myself? Golly gee ma'am."

I yawned again and nodded. "Yup. Big spender here."

"Let's get you to bed, doll." He pulled me to my feet and I said good night to everyone. 

"I just put clean sheets on the guest bed, Chris," Lisa said as we stood up. "If there's not enough blankets on it for Sadie, you can get some more from the linen closet."

"Yes Ma, I know," Chris said, pulling me up the stairs and into a bedroom. "This is my room. If you want to sleep in the guest room, I can show you where it is, but I figured you'd probably intended to sleep with me like you usually do."

I nodded, putting my arms around him and leaning into his warmth. "Thank you. What's your mom going to say about me sleeping with you?"

He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug before letting me go. "Doesn't matter. I've gotten kinda used to having you around, doll."

"Same here. Which way to the shower?"

"The door at the end of the hall. I'll be up in a bit, okay?"

"Sure. Take your time."

I got cleaned up pretty quickly, wanting sleep even more than a hot shower. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and crawled into bed, leaving the light on for Chris to turn off. He'd still been here enough that his scent permeated the room, comforting me even though he wasn't physically next to me. I was almost asleep by the time I felt him get into bed; he settled his arm around me firmly and that was the last thing I remembered.

* *

I was alone in Chris' bed when I woke up the next morning. I glanced at my phone to see that it was already 8. The boys had texted me last night to say they were home and Chris had answered for me because I didn't remember hearing the chime alert, let alone typing that response. 

I sat up and stretched before getting up and making the bed. I assumed Chris'd went to get his workout in so it was out of the way for the day. After seeing what he and Sebastian had to do to maintain their impressive physiques, I was really glad I didn't have to do any kind of superhero workout or diet for my character. I had to do some fight training, but nothing like what the rest of the team and Scarlett had to do. 

I retied my ponytail and wandered down the stairs to the kitchen in my pajama's, intending to find myself a bowl of cereal and some coffee. I stopped when I reached the kitchen because Lisa had obviously been up for a while and had waffles and eggs keeping warm on the stove.

"Help yourself, Sadie," Lisa said. "Chris and Scott won't be back for a while yet; they said they're gonna take Dodger for a run."

I grabbed a plate and loaded it up. "Sounds good - that means he won't be so hyper around me then. Thanks for cooking – usually by the time I get breakfast made Chris is starving."

She made a noise of reproof. "He knows how to feed himself, honey. You don't have to cook for him."

I set the plate on the table and searched until I found the mugs, pouring myself a cup of coffee and heading back to the table. "Force of habit. Since I started acting, I usually make breakfast for the boys before school when I'm at home. Now that they're both in high school, it's about the only time of day I actually see them and we aren't all running separate directions." I smiled, thinking about our crazy daily calendar that had been color coded since they were in middle school.

"I remember those days," she said with a fond smile, handing me a napkin and a fork. "But I'm glad that you're finally here. I know we've talked on the phone a couple times, but I wanted to thank you in person for saving my boys. I'm well aware that if it weren't for you neither Chris nor Seb would be here today."

"I was just trying to do my best to make sure my own little boy was okay," I said, warming my hands on the mug. "But I'm very grateful to have Chris and Sebastian in my life. They've both been a big help with the boys since Justin's been gone. Now that they're older, there's just some things the boys want to talk to a man about, not their mom." I picked up my fork and started in on my eggs. "I almost miss the days when they felt the need to tell me every little insignificant detail of their entire day. Almost - there were a lot of stories about their dog and the neighborhood squirrels."

She chuckled understandingly. "It's been good for Chris, too. I've seen how he's changed in the past few months, and I know he's ready to settle down to start a family-"

I snorted to myself. The man was definitely ready to have a family of his own but he was okay with borrowing mine, too - including my adorable niece Gracie. I'd watched him and Sebastian almost fight over who got to play with her, but she loved her Sebba just slightly more than Cwis. Lost in thought, I almost didn't hear what Lisa was saying.

"But the way his career is moving right now, he just doesn't have the kind of time he'd like to devote to a wife and children."

I caught the warning in her tone and gave myself a mental shake. I wasn't quite sure what she understood about mine and Chris' relationship, but either she was reading more into it than I thought or she was just stating the facts, so I decided to say something to her.

"Hold up there - I feel like you've gotten the wrong impression here, Lisa. Chris and I are just friends – nothing more than that."

"Honey, you sleep together."

"We're not lovers and never have been," I said firmly, surprising her with my sternness. "I don't like Chris like that. I sleep better with him around, but we don't sleep together, if you know what I mean." I watched her as I spoke gauging her reactions. "Since the shooting, we both have nightmares and trouble sleeping." 

I held up my hand to keep her from interrupting when she opened her mouth to speak. "I found out Chris gets them too when I first started staying at his apartment when we were shooting on location in Germany. Some jerk followed me back to my hotel and freaked me out, so I asked Chris if I could stay on his couch. Long story short, we both have things we're trying to deal with and this is what works for us."

I watched as she absorbed that and I could tell that she didn't know Chris had been having problems sleeping. She shook her head slowly. "Chris takes anxiety medication -"

I cut her off, knowing where she was going with that. "Yes, but it doesn't help with the nightmares. He takes the same thing my doctor gave me, but it makes me so groggy that I don't like to take it unless I have to and I know he's said something similar. I...um...I was getting better, before Justin."

"Oh – oh. I believe I owe you an apology, Sadie. I was so sorry to hear about your husband's passing. Chris said he was a good man."

"He was," I said quietly, sipping my coffee.

"It was just the way you two acted around each other last night and even just how he talks about you and the boys made me think, well – you know." 

"That was never our intention. Chris is one of my best friends – so I'm well aware he's with someone else – and she knows about our arrangement."

"He doesn't talk about any other women," Lisa mused, eyeing me speculatively.

"That's his choice," I replied, not intending to spill the beans for him. "So if he hasn't said anything about her, it's not my place to say anything either."

"I see," she said, looking at me over the edge of her cup. "So how have the boys adjusted? It's been a while now."

"2 months tomorrow," I said, taking a drink of my coffee and setting my fork down. I felt that tightness in my throat again and knew I was done eating for now even though I hadn't finished what was on my plate. "They've taken it better than I thought they would. They're so busy now with school, sports and their friends that it's only in the evenings and sometimes the weekends that they notice their dad isn't there. Justin always worked 8-5 Monday thru Friday, so during the week I still find myself thinking that 'he's just at work' or something along that lines, waiting for him to call me on his way home like he usually did - but he never does."

My voice failed and I fought back the hot prickling at the corners of my eyes, not wanting to start crying again. I thought I'd finally reached the point where I could talk about Justin and not bawling, but I was wrong. I hopped up to refill my coffee, trying to keep from looking at Lisa because I knew I'd lose it if she had a remotely sympathetic look on her face.

"Oh, honey," Lisa said, coming up behind me and pulling me into a tight hug. 

She rubbed my back as a choked sob escaped and just held me as I cried on her shoulder. The harder I tried to get myself under control, the harder I cried. I just didn't want Chris to see me like this because then he'd be worried about me.

"Hey sleepy Sadie - you're finally awake," Chris said teasingly at first, concern creeping into his voice when he knew I was crying. "Sadie - what's wrong? Ma, what did you say to her?"

"We were just talking, Chris. She'll be okay in a little bit," Lisa said, patting me on the back. "Why don't you go get cleaned up and then come back down?"

"I'm not going to just leave her when she's like this, Ma. Give her here," he ordered, pulling me into his arms. I slid my arms around his torso and buried my face in his shirt. "You raised me better than that. Hey doll – you okay?" 

"I'm f-f-fine," I hiccuped, much to his amusement.

"I see that," he said, his chest rumbling beneath me. "Want to try that again without lying to me?"

"No." 

"That's your story and you're sticking to it?" he said and I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Maybe," I sniffed, cracking a smile and lifting my head to look at him. "Have you ever heard that song?"

"No, do I want to?"

"It's a classic," I teased, knowing he didn't like old twangy country. 

He chuckled as I hiccupped again. "If it's country, I'll pass."

"You can let go of me now, Chris. You really need a shower."

"What's wrong with a little honest sweat?" He held me tighter just because he could, which made me roll my eyes at him even though he couldn't see me doing it.

"I don't think your nose works. Can't you smell yourself?" 

He lifted his arm and I held my breath, not wanting to gag and took a couple steps back as he sniffed himself. "Nope. Just smelling sweat. Are you okay now, Sadie?"

"Yeah. Your mom thinks we're lovers, by the way. I'm not sure I convinced her we're not."

"What?!" he yelped, looking around for his mom and not seeing her. I didn't remember hearing her leave, but she had to have at some point. "Why?"

I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest. "You tell me. She's your mom, not mine."

"I'll talk to her – after I shower." He gave me a pointed look. "Don't think that gets you off the hook, missy. We're going to finish this talk later."

"Fine," I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to give up until we'd talked it through. I patted his scruffy face. "You could shave too while you're at it so you quit giving me beard burn. I'm going to go find something to wear other than my pajamas."


	17. 17

Sebastian's POV

I held out my hand to Sadie, helping her out of the cab. After several successful group dates, she'd finally agreed to a solo date with just me for a show and a late dinner. The first day we'd met, she'd said she always wanted to see a Broadway production, so I'd had Mark get us tickets to Hamilton. I'd heard good things about it from my assistant, but didn't really know anything other than it was a musical. 

She was so excited to just be at a show that I found myself catching her enthusiasm. We got there a little early, but I didn't think she minded one bit. I watched with amusement as she looked around wide eyed at everything that was going on, her arm through mine as we made our way to our seats. Her hand scrunched the fabric of my suit coat sleeve and I covered her hand with my own.

"Best day ever?" I murmured to her as we settled in, taking off our coats and getting comfortable.

"That's my line," she protested with a grin. "Find your own catchphrase."

"I'm pretty sure I already have, but 'who the hell is Bucky?' doesn't seem to quite suit the surroundings, doll." I gestured at the theatre that was slowly filling up around us, but none of the seats near us were taken yet, allowing us to be in our own little world for a while longer.

"Yeah, it really doesn't," she laughed lightly, eyes crinkling and dimples showing. My hand reached for hers and I stroked my fingers over her palm slowly. "Still glad you met me?" she asked, her eyes meeting mine. I reached over and cupped her face lightly and smiled.

"Always," I replied without hesitation, seeing her eyes soften. "Still glad you met me?"

"Hmm, I'll think about that and get back to you," she grinned, taking my other hand in hers.

"I see how you are," I said with a smile. I let my hand slide down her face to rest at the nape of her neck, my fingers toying with the loose baby curls there. "Do you ever wonder what you'd be doing now if you'd never met me and Chris that day?"

Her smile turned bittersweet. "I don't have to wonder, Sebastian; I know what I'd be doing. I'd still be in my same routine that I had for years, still on my same rotations at the hospital and probably on the road to one of the boys' tournaments this weekend since it's wrestling season. I still feel guilty for all of their things I'm missing at times."

"But then there's all the things you have done with them that you wouldn't have done otherwise," I pointed out, noticing that she didn't mention Justin.

"True. If Chris hadn't given me a panic attack, would you guys still have went out to eat at that restaurant that night?"

"I don't know. Possibly, because it's one of our favorite places to eat there, but I don't know that for a fact. If we had, I wouldn't be here, and neither would Chris." 

"Well, I can't imagine how the last two movies we've worked on would have been without either of you in them. You're kind of important characters, you know."

"Bucky wouldn't be doing very good without Evelyn, though. Hydra definitely would have gotten him back by now if it wasn't for her."

"True. What would you normally be doing if you'd never met me – assuming you never went to the restaurant?"

"I don't know. Probably would be working out or maybe just chilling at home or heading out to a party somewhere. I used to go to a lot of parties because that's what everyone I knew did on their weekends and evenings."

"So you think you'd still be single or would you be with one of your other costars by now?"

"Hard saying. I can't even imagine that anymore because I don't want to think about a life without you in it."

"Sebastian -"

"I know, I'm getting too serious again," I said with a self-depreciating smile, used to the way I usually made her uncomfortable with sweeping statements like that.

"That wasn't what I was going to say," she said shaking her head.

I stared at her, wanting to know why. "That's what you always say, Sadie. Why would this time be any different?"

"It's hard to explain," she held up a hand indicating she wanted me to let her gather her thoughts. "I guess the best way to say it is when I first met you, I honestly didn't know you were going to be this important to me."

I blinked, for once words failing me. Very rarely would she say something like this, and I treasured each and every occasion. I brought her hand to my lips and brushed a light kiss across her knuckles, noticing that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring tonight. This was the first time she'd left it off on our dates, even the group ones. The seats around us started filling up then and the moment was broken. 

* *

A couple weeks later

 

"Sebastian, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, doll."

"I hate surprises," Sadie grumped, making me laugh.

"I know."

"Is that why you keep doing them? Because trying to condition me to them isn't a very good plan - I can tell you that right now."

"Why don't you take a guess?"

"Are we going to the Met?"

"Nope. Try again."

"Ohh, I know – the Museum of Natural History?"

I snorted. "I know you're only saying that because you watched Night at the Museum the other day with the boys. Isaac quoted it several times when I FaceTimed him yesterday; try again."

"Grand Central Station? You're going to teach me how to use the subway?"

I laughed, filing all those things away for later dates. "We're in a cab, so probably not. You really don't know how to use the subway?"

"Nope. Never been on it, don't know how to use it. I give up. Tell me, Sebastian."

"Sweetheart, ya don' follah sports, do ya?" the cabbie asked with amusement, having followed the conversation.

"Not really – why?"

"The Knicks are playin' the Lakers tonight and you're headed ta Madison Square Garden. Ya folloh?"

She nodded. "The Lakers – I've heard of them. We're going to a basketball game?" she asked in surprise, cocking her head at me. 

"Not just any basketball game, Sadie – an NBA game. This one will be shown live on ESPN. Chris is meeting us there. We've got courtside seats, so he's pretty pumped."

"I'll bet he is," she said wryly. "I figured he'd be a Boston fan. They have a pro team, right?"

"Sure do – the Celtics, and we're going to beat them this year," I declared, bumping fists with the cabbie.

The only downside to attending a televised game was the constant break in play for network commercial breaks. During one of them, Sadie leaned into me and confided, "I've never seen so many people in one place before. I'm still waiting for the Ninja Turtles to drop pizza on the court, by the way." 

She started humming their theme song as Chris and I burst out laughing, her view on things was so refreshing. It was then that the cameras scanning the crowds found our group.

"Look we're on the jumbotron! Hi Mom!" Chris said, smiling and waving. 

I put my arm around Sadie and leaned over, kissing her cheek. 

"Sebastian!" She blushed as the crowd went wild, drowning out the announcers, who looked to see what was going on. The cameras stayed on us, giving me an idea. "Look what you've done!" Sadie protested, gesturing at the cheering crowds.

I gave her my best Bucky grin. "That was just a friendly peck on the cheek; think they'd make a ruckus if I did this?"

I kissed her quickly, catching her by surprise as things got even louder. It still amazed us how well our fans had taken to Sadie. She'd even had her own panel at the last Comic Con we went to – standing room only.

 

* * * *

Four months later  
Sadie's POV

I let myself into Sebastian's spacious Manhattan apartment, intending to surprise him with dinner when he got home from the set. Chris said he'd be by in about an hour; but he was still on the plane and hadn't even landed yet. I kicked my shoes off, glad to finally be here. I was used to the flight by now, but it always took me a little bit to get my bearings when I landed.

I shrugged out of my coat and hung it up on the door after I tossed my keys on the counter and set my purse down, along with the groceries I'd picked up. I took a moment to put the meat in the fridge before wheeling my suitcase into the guest room I usually used when I stayed here, intending on a short nap since I was here so early. Sebastian said he'd be shooting until 8 or 9, but I'd caught an earlier flight and I'd made great time from the airport, so it was only 6 pm now.

I'd known Sebastian for over a year now, and his place had become my second home. If Chris was in town I usually stayed with him, but he'd been gone so much lately that Sebastian and I had fallen into our own routine. We'd been casually dating for a couple months now, and I thought that maybe I was finally ready for an actual commitment with Sebastian. He'd made it clear from the beginning when we'd first started going on dates that I'd set the pace for our relationship. 

I'd just parked my suitcase when I heard a noise coming from the master bedroom. I frowned to myself – the locks had been in place and I hadn't seen anything to make me think Sebastian was there. I went to grab my phone and my gun, concerned that there was an intruder. 

The noise was louder now and I pushed the slightly ajar door open, holding my gun out before me and sweeping the room with my eyes. I'd thought Sebastian was going to be getting the surprise, but I was wrong. My startled gaze fell on some girl riding him hard on his bed. I lowered my gun as the girl saw me and gave me a smirk, not breaking rhythm. I stood there in shock for a moment longer before I walked right back out of his bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind me. 

My chest felt like I'd taken a blow to it, but I wasn't going to give that bitch the satisfaction of knowing how hard this had hit me. I went back to the guest room and wheeled my suitcase down the hallway, putting my gun back in my purse and pulling on my coat. I grabbed my keys before sliding my shoes back on and making sure I had everything. I almost made it out before Sebastian came after me, naked and holding a shirt loosely around his waist. 

"Sadie?"

I refused to look at him or meet his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't know you'd made other plans tonight. I see you already have company, so I'll see myself out." I opened the door and started to leave, only to have him blocking my exit.

"Sadie, this isn't what it looks like," he pleaded, his voice slurred. "Don't go."

"Don't lie to me – I'm not stupid," I said, my voice low and intense. "You don't owe me an explanation – there's nothing between us, Stan, so you can fuck whoever the hell you want, but it won't be me!"

He grabbed me and pressed his lips to mine and I stayed frozen, refusing to respond to him. I tasted another woman's lipstick on his lips, the cloying scent of her perfume in my nostrils sickening me even more. I pushed him back and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, trying hard to not puke. 

"Get out of my way," I said quietly. He stumbled back after a moment, letting me open the door and I walked out without a backwards glance, my heart crumbling into tiny pieces. I got into the elevator and pulled out my phone to call Scarlett. 

"Please tell me you're in New York," I pleaded when Scarlett answered.

"Yes, I'm here. Sadie, what's wrong? Where are you?"

"I'll tell you when I get there. Can I stay with you for tonight? I can get a hotel room tomorrow."

"Honey, you know you can always stay with me for as long as you want," Scarlett said, sounding alarmed.

"Thanks. I owe you one."

I managed to keep it together while I got in a cab and gave the driver Scarlett's address. I turned my phone off after the first time he called, not wanting to talk to him right now. It turned out Scarlett's wasn't really far from his place, but I'd never watched the route in daylight and I didn't really know my way around New York very well yet. 

Rose was still up when I got to Scarlett's, so I pushed my emotions to the back burner and played the tickle game with her, giving her the pink cowgirl hat and boots I'd brought her from home and laughing at her riding her pretend horsie around the room before Scarlett's nanny took her to eat supper and get ready for bed. Scarlett impatiently waited until her daughter had left the room to ask what she'd been dying to ask from the moment I'd called.

"What's wrong, Sadie? I thought you were staying with Seb this weekend?"

"So did I, until I walked in on him in bed with someone else," I said, tears streaming down my face. Scarlett pulled me into her arms, rubbing my back gently. "I couldn't stay and act like everything was just fine, Scarlett!"

"Who was it?"

"Doesn't matter. I didn't ask for an introduction, just grabbed my stuff and walked right back out."

"I'm going to kill him," Scarlett muttered. "Fucking idiot!"

"Don't. Murder is considered a punishable offense in most countries. You've got Rose to think of and orange really isn't your color, darling." I let go of her, wiping my eyes. "I know it's the new black, but he's not worth it." She offered me the box of Kleenex and I took some, blowing my nose and drying my eyes.

"I know how you really feel about him, Sadie. This calls for wine."

"Not anymore," I said, following her into the kitchen. "I feel nothing for him. And I could go for something stronger than wine tonight. Tequila, if you have it."

She handed me the bottle of tequila and a glass. I filled it with ice and poured myself a glass, drinking it straight and feeling it burn all the way down. "Who's staying with the boys while you're here?"

"My baby sister. She brought her two younger kids up and they're having a staycation at my house. The boys like being the cool older cousins to them." 

"How are the boys?" she asked as she poured herself a glass of wine.

"Growing like weeds. They're both taller than me now. Liam's taller than Justin was, too." Tears burned at the corner of my eyes again. "God, I miss him, Scarlett. I miss him so damn much."

"I know you do. From what I saw, he was a good husband and father."

"He was. I wasn't supposed to outlive him." I finished off my glass and filled it again. There was so much I wanted to forget right now. "If this is my punishment for wanting someone else when Justin was still alive, then I just need to deal with it."

"Sadie – why would you think that?" Scarlett asked, sounding shocked.

"I never acted on it, but I wanted Sebastian even though I was taken. I wanted him something fierce, Scarlett – more than I've ever wanted anyone."

"Have you been with him since...?"

"No, he's been really good about not pushing the subject and for the longest time I wasn't ready to move on."

"Do you think you are now? It's been what, over six months now?"

I nodded. "Some days I'm still not, but then again I don't know if I'll ever truly be ready. I just wanted to see if whatever was between us was still there first." I finished my glass again, pouring more in this time. "Guess not."

"Do you want to get ready for bed before you pass out? Because if you keep drinking like that, it's going to happen sooner than later."

I considered that briefly. "Yeah, a shower would be good. I should probably plug my phone in, too. It was almost dead."

Scarlett pointed at a charger and I found my phone in my purse and plugged it in, setting it on the counter. I hung my purse up on the highest hook in the entry so Rose wouldn't be able to reach it and dump everything out of it – again.

I took my full glass with me to the bathroom, finishing it before I got into the shower. I dried off and pulled on my nightie, finger combing through my long hair as I padded back into the kitchen only to be pulled into someone's hard, muscular arms. Gasping in shock, I dropped my glass on the hardwood floor – luckily it didn't break.

It took me a moment to place the scent because I couldn't see anything with my hair in my face and the way he was holding me. "Chris! You scared the shit out of me!" He loosened his grip and I shoved my hair out of my face as I remembered he'd been going to Sebastian's tonight, too. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," he said, kissing my forehead. "I got to Seb's and walked in on him arguing with Macy. He said you weren't answering and didn't know where you went after you walked out. I was worried when you didn't answer, so I called Scarlett, who said you were in the shower and your phone was charging."

"Sorry to alarm you, Chris. I wasn't thinking," I said, trying to ignore the burning at the corner of my eyes. "And I don't know anyone named Sebastian anymore, so save your breath." I thought I'd gotten all the crying out of my system already when I was in the shower, but I guess not. I pushed at his broad chest and he let go of me. I leaned over to pick up my glass, rinsing it out and putting in more ice before pouring myself another full glass of tequila.

"Wasn't planning on wasting it. You want to maybe put something more on, Sadie?" Chris said, his cheeks flushing when I noticed him looking at me.

I snorted, crossing my arms under my breasts just to make them stand out a little more. "Get the stick out of your ass, Evans. Everything's covered and I don't have anything you haven't seen already. If you've seen one set of tits, you've seen them all." His face flushed even redder, making me laugh.

"Kind of makes me want to put on some French lingerie just to see his reaction," Scarlett said with a wicked grin.

"Do it!" I encouraged her. "We're already having a sleepover – maybe we should have a naked pillow fight too." She laughed as she left the room, leaving me alone with Chris. "What's new with you?" I said, taking a drink.

"There's something you should know, Sadie."

"I know I like tequila. That's all I need to know right now Christopher."

He moved closer to me, putting one hand under my chin so I'd look at him, pulling his hand back when I nipped at him. He picked me up and set me on the counter so fast I didn't have time to react, but I was mellowing out now that the alcohol was hitting my system.

He cupped my face lightly, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had escaped somehow. "Macy planned it all, Sadie. She's wanted revenge on you ever since you got the part for Infinity Wars."

"Didn't look like he was resisting all that much. I walked in on him fucking her, Chris. Not just kissing or anything – fucking," I said, drawing a ragged breath. "He could have just told me instead of letting me find out this way. He knew I was flying in today."

"She drugged him, Sadie," Chris said, taking the glass from my hand when I went to take a drink. "She set you both up."

"How do you know?" I asked, staring at him in disbelief.

"Bear with me – it's not a super short explanation," he said. I gestured for him to go on, taking my glass back and filling it up. "I did a little research a while back when I was getting ready to film Puncture. It was about a drug addict, and I wasn't going to try heroin or anything, so I roofied myself and had Seb record what I did."

"I feel obligated to say that seems like a bad idea on so many levels," I said, staring at him.

"It wasn't one of my finest moments, but it was educational. Seb thought it didn't seem that bad, so he tried it the next night and I recorded him. He functioned pretty well, but if you told him to do something, he would, no questions asked." 

"Is there a point to this story?" I asked, taking a drink. "Not that I couldn't listen to you talk all day or anything. You have a nice voice." Chris took my glass from me again before I could refill it.

"The slurred speech, unfocused eyes, slight loss of motor function – it was all the same. I can show you the video I made if you don't believe me." I didn't want to believe Chris, but he was oozing sincerity. "Seb was dating Macy back then – that was before she went all psycho on him, so I'm sure she knew about our experiment."

I made a noncommittal noise, but I was listening. I really wasn't liking what I was hearing.

Chris took a breath, lifting my chin so I would look at him, holding my eyes with his. "He was just getting to the pass out point when I got there tonight – dropped like a rock in the middle of a sentence. I put him to bed and kicked her out after letting her know I knew what she'd done and threatened to press charges against her." 

I didn't say anything for a long moment. I didn't know what to say to that; I'd been so angry earlier. I was still angry, but my focus had shifted from him to her.

"I want to kill her," I said firmly, my hands curling around Chris' arms. "She had no right to do that to him."

"No, she didn't. Until today, she'd only done petty things like saying stupid shit on social media or getting him to make out with her when he's drunk. That was mostly before you came along."

"Is he going to be okay?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah, he'll be okay. He's going to have one hell of a headache in the morning, but he'll be fine. He won't remember much, though. He remembered more than I did when I tried it, but not by much."

"That's awful. Why would she do something like that?"

"Macy blames you for Seb not going back to her after his last break up," Scarlett said, coming back into the room wearing a thin robe open to show a sexy negligee. Chris's face went red again and he looked away from her quickly, taking a drink of my tequila and grimacing. I smirked – Chris wasn't exactly a straight liquor kind of guy as a rule of thumb.

"I think he likes the outfit, Scarlett," I said waggling my eyebrows at her as I took my glass back from Chris before he dropped it. "That's ridiculous, though. They were broken up for a long time before I even met Sebastian. He wasn't even with Margarita when I met him."

"She did something similar to Dianna and Margarita, too," Scarlett said. "Remember when she kissed Seb in front of them when Seb was almost too drunk to walk? You know what he's like when he reaches the 'happy drunk' stage and he's always trying to kiss you, Sadie?"

"Yeah, I suppose that would work," I said with a sigh, reaching for the bottle and filling my glass. "What do you want me to do, Chris? I flat out told him there's nothing between us and that he could fuck whoever he wanted."

Scarlett choked on her wine, leading Chris to look at her in concern, rubbing his hand on her back as she coughed.

"That's better than I expected," he said, wincing and shaking his head. "I figured you'd have told him to take a flying leap, which wouldn't have been a good choice of words right then."

"You're telling me," I said. "I was just so angry right then. I'm still angry."

"I would have been, too and I don't even like Seb like that," Scarlett said, raising an eyebrow.

"How much have you had to drink?" Chris asked, looking at me.

"Not enough to forget what I saw," I said firmly, finishing my drink. "I can't go back there tonight, Chris."

I reached over and grabbed the bottle. Chris took it away from me before I could fill my glass. I hopped off the counter, reaching out to take it back from him, but he only held it up out of my reach. I turned and walked over to where Scarlett kept the liquor, grabbing the bottle of tequila and pouring myself a shot. 

"I'm not saying you should – it would be better if you didn't right now. At least for a day or so. He's going to have to come to terms with things first."

"That makes two of us, then, I guess." I tossed it back, pouring myself another one.

"I think you've had enough, Sadie," he said firmly, taking that bottle from me and pulling me into his arms.

"No," I said as I rested my forehead on his chest and slowly put my arms around his solid torso. It was like hugging a warm brick wall, his muscles were so firm. He wrapped his arms around me, and I heard his voice rumble in his chest when he spoke next. "Are you all right?" 

"No."

"I'm sorry, Sadie."

"No."

"Are we back to this again?" he said with a chuckle. This wasn't the first time I'd refused to use a word other than 'no' with him.

"No," I said with a muffled laugh. "I couldn't resist. Why are you so nice to me?"

"Do I need to have a reason?"

"Yes."

"Because you're one of my best friends, Sadie. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here."

"I think it's for the entertainment value I give you," I said.

"There is that," he grinned. "Life around you is never dull. Are you all right, Sadie?"

"I will be, eventually. It's just going to take time. I'm going to bed," I said, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "See you in the morning."


	18. 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of rape - drugging - non-consensual sex

Sebastian's POV

I woke up to a pulsing headache and a bitter taste in my mouth. I was naked and tangled in my sheets. I thought I caught a whiff of a woman's perfume, but it wasn't the one I expected to smell. It was too strong, and it made my head hurt more. I vaguely remembered seeing Sadie before I fell asleep – or passed out. 

I sat up slowly, putting my head in my hands as I fought with my stomach to not get sick. Finally winning the battle, I got out of bed and looked for my phone. I finally found it on my dresser; it wasn't where I normally put it. My clothes from yesterday were folded on the chair in the corner, which made me scratch my head. I never folded them, just threw them in the hamper if I didn't hang them over the chair to wear again. 

There had been a woman here - in my bed - and I couldn't be sure, but I thought I'd had sex with her, which didn't make sense. The more I thought about it, the more certain I was that I'd seen Sadie last night, but the things I was remembering didn't add up, because I only remembered her leaving.

"Sadie?" I called, pulling on a pair of boxers and stumbling out of my bedroom. "Sadie?" No sign of her anywhere, not in the guest room she always used, not in the bathroom or living room. Nothing. "Sadie?"

"Sadie's not here," Chris finally said when I checked the kitchen. I was surprised to find him there, drinking a cup of coffee and tapping at his phone. "Go shower and get dressed, Seb. Then we can talk."

I turned and went back to my bathroom, getting in the shower. The hot water cleared some the fog from my brain and I suddenly remembered why the perfume smelled familiar. Macy was here yesterday.

I brushed my teeth to get that awful taste out of my mouth and threw on some clothes before I walked back out into the kitchen. "Where's Sadie? What did I do?" I asked him quietly, getting some water and Tylenol for my headache.

"Enough," he said, setting a cup of coffee in front of me.

"Macy was here, wasn't she?" I asked. "What the hell was she doing here?" I said, running my hands through my hair and sinking into a chair.

"Seb, were you drinking last night?"

I shook my head and instantly regretted it. "No, I got done shooting early yesterday and came straight home so I could tidy up before Sadie got here. She did get here, right?" 

"Yeah, she did."

"Why can't I remember anything?

 

"Remember when you helped me do that research a while back for Puncture?" Chris asked and I racked my brain to remember why that sounded familiar.

"The druggie movie?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"I think she drugged you, Seb. Specifically, I think she roofied you."

 

"Shit," I said, running my hands over my face. "Shit, shit, shit."

"Why was she here to begin with? I thought you didn't want anything to do with her?"

I struggling to remember. "I think she just showed up at my door and said she needed to talk to me. Asked for a drink of water since she'd walked here. I thought she wanted to apologize for the shit she'd been saying about Sadie recently."

I looked over at him, not understanding the pained expression on his face. "Chris, where is Sadie?" I demanded, needing an answer. "I thought she was supposed to get here last night."

"Here's where it gets interesting. She got here yesterday afternoon – before you were expecting her but just in time to see Macy's little show. Sadie walked in on you and Macy going at it – "

"Oh, god. I fucked her?" My heart sank. I'd told Macy that we were through, but she still wouldn't give up. She'd managed to wreck two of my relationships now, and this was the last straw. 

Chris nodded, "And Sadie walked right back out, took her stuff and went to Scarlett's. You tried to stop her, but if she told you to let her go, you would have."

"If it was phrased as an order, yeah, I would have," I said with a groan, letting my head fall into my hands. Both of us followed orders really well - extremely well - when we did that experiment a couple years ago. I could remember everything else, just not anything else after I'd gotten home yesterday afternoon.

"You're still acting like you've had that drug. I bet if I took you to get tested, it would show up."

"Please tell me you got rid of Macy and she didn't stay the night," I begged, lifting my head up to look at him.

"I did. Macy was trying to get you to go back to bed when I got here last night and you were frantic because you couldn't get a hold of Sadie, but you were just about to the passing out stage. I managed to get you calmed down, but don't know how much she gave you, because you just collapsed as you were talking to me. Eyes rolled back and down you went."

"You put me in my bed?" I asked.

"Seemed like a good place for you."

"Was I naked?" I asked, standing up and moving around the kitchen anxiously. He didn't answer until I looked at him.

"Yes, and so was she. For the record, that was more of Macy than I ever wanted to see."

"I never want to see Macy ever again," I said, leaning over the sink and fighting desperately with my stomach to not throw up and narrowly winning.

"I talked to my lawyer this morning and he thinks you have a solid case against her. You need to get your blood tested this morning while it's still in your system so we have proof she drugged you."

"I'll do it. And I want a restraining order or something to make sure she doesn't come near me or Sadie ever again."

 

"I told him to get to work on that already. If she's willing to drug you, who knows what she'd do to Sadie if she's given the chance. I know what you think about Macy, Seb – and I know how you feel about Sadie."

I took a drink of my coffee, taking a moment to gather my thoughts. "Did you talk to her? Sadie, I mean?"

"Yeah, last night. She was still sleeping this morning when I left Scarlett's. Sebastian, Sadie damn near gave herself alcohol poisoning with the amount of tequila she drank before I got there. She was pretty torn up about this."

 

"What did Sadie have to say about it?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer. She only drank tequila when she was upset.

"She doesn't want to come back here yet. She was pretty adamant about that."

"I understand," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose, fighting tears as the ache in my chest became unbearable. I couldn't swallow for the lump in my throat. I felt Chris' hand on my shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.

"No, you don't. None of this is your fault, Seb; it's Macy's. Come over to Scarlett's with me now – talk to Sadie."

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" I said, when I found my voice again. "What if she hates me now?"

"She doesn't hate you. It was a shock to her, walking in on that. If it had been me walking in on my girl with another guy, I woulda beat the shit out of him, but Sadie - you know how she is - she runs away from things."

 

I stood up and slammed my hands on the table top. "This is so fucked up! I'd never intentionally do anything like this to Sadie, Chris. Never! What if -"

"Just breathe, Seb. Breathe. We'll get you tested and then go over to Scarlett's so you can talk to her." He pulled me into a hard hug, the kind that only he could give because it made you feel a thousand times better.

"If you tell me you're with me to the end of the line, Chris so help me -" I murmured, tightening my grip on him.

I felt his chuckle and his arms tightened even more. "Wasn't planning on it, but if it makes you feel better punk, I will."

"Jerk," I said with a weak smile, letting go of him.

* * *  
Sadie's POV

"I don't know if I can do this, Scarlett," I said, staring out the window at the rainy street and sipping my coffee. I'd felt fine this morning, just a little dehydrated from all the crying I'd done. "What do I say to him? What if he really wanted her all along?"

"Did you listen to what you just said?" Scarlett said with amusement. "You know he doesn't like Macy like that anymore – with good reason. She's a psycho bitch that lives to cause drama."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed," I said dryly. "So did Chris stay the night after I passed out?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said with a soft grin. "What time did you pass out?"

"As soon as my head hit the pillow. That last couple shots of tequila did me in. You better hide this love bite a little better if that's what you're saying tonight." I brushed her long blond hair back to reveal a faint hickey. "You know your necklace won't cover that – and you don't need to pretend with me. Why won't you make it official?"

"He's dating what's-her-name now," Scarlett said, rolling her eyes at me. "And that's what makeup is for, Sadie."

"According to the tabloids. You know how reliable they are," I said, an edge to my voice. She laughed as she left the room.

I'd seen yet another article about me and Sebastian this morning. They'd seen both myself and Macy entering and leaving Sebastian's building last night and speculation was rampant. Since shortly after Justin's death, there had been a growing interest in who I was seen with. Since I was usually only seen out with either a group, Chris, or Sebastian, there wasn't a lot for them to speculate on. My relationship with Chris was strictly platonic - and it helped that he was supposedly dating someone else.

Our fans were pretty set on seeing me and Sebastian together – especially after the Infinity War teaser trailers were released last week. I'd cemented my role in this current movie based on fan's reactions and feedback. They'd loved Bucky and Evelyn and we even had a ship name: Bucklyn.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up to see I had a text from my agent. 

"Sadie?" 

I looked up from my phone to see Sebastian staring at me from the doorway, a hopeful expression on his handsome face. My heart leapt into my throat. I was still utterly undecided on what I wanted to say to him. On one hand, I understood that he hadn't been in control of himself at the time and that little logical part of my brain didn't blame him for any part of the whole thing. Just because he was a man didn't mean he couldn't be raped, and he had been - no two ways about it. She had stalked him and drugged him to take advantage of him, which was no less worse than some guy in a club slipping a girl a roofie with the same intention. 

If that bitch had done it to get pregnant with his child, that was 1,000 times worse. I knew he wanted children eventually, but Sebastian was the kind of guy who wanted to be involved in raising his children and being a father in every sense of the word. He wasn't going to just let some girl run off with his baby - he would fight to be involved.

On the other hand, my heart was still incredibly bruised because of what I'd seen last night. I may not have a right to feel that way because Sebastian and I weren't formally dating, but that didn't stop my heart from hurting any less. I loved Sebastian, even if I had yet to actually say the words out loud to him. This hadn't been the first time I'd had a broken heart, but it had been the worst; even the alcohol hadn't helped to numb the pain.

I watched as he slowly entered the room, everything about his posture and carriage was so hesitant, so abnormal that I wanted to cry. She'd hurt him in a way that struck him to his core, and it was entirely possible he would never be the same Sebastian I had fallen in love with months ago. He should've never have been hurt like this - no one should ever have to feel like it was their fault when their free will was taken from them.

 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

I studied Sadie for a long minute before I finally said her name. She looked as miserable as I felt now that she wasn't pretending to be fine for Scarlett. I could tell she'd been crying, her eyes were a little red yet and her face was paler than usual.

"Sadie?" I said quietly, and she looked up at me with wide eyes before looking away instantly. I stared at her, taking in every minute detail of the expressions that flitted over her face, terrified that she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Chris had relayed what she said she'd told me; I didn't remember the conversation.

"Hello, Sebastian," she said as I walked in the room. "I didn't expect to see you already." She stood up gracefully as I slowly walked towards her, her arms holding herself so tightly her knuckles were white.

"I just wanted to talk to you about last night, Sadie. I'm sorry – I don't know what you saw, but whatever it was, that wasn't really me." 

"I'm trying not to think about it, Sebastian," she said in a low, unsteady voice. "Chris told me you were drugged. Were you?"

"I was," I said. "The effects haven't fully worn off yet and I tested positive for Rohypnol."

"She fucking roofied you?" she said flatly as she absorbed that, staring at me and sinking back into her chair in shock. "Do you even remember what you did yesterday?"

I shook my head slowly. "I don't remember a lot about yesterday afternoon. I know I came home, but after that, nothing solid. I wasn't even sure I'd seen you for real, Sadie. I thought I'd just imagined it or something." I took a deep breath. "I'm still not sure, actually."

"You didn't imagine it, Sebastian. You talked to me," she said, blinking rapidly, looking away from me. "You kissed me – and you tasted like her. You even smelled like her."

I flinched at the hollow tone in her voice. I could tell that she was hurt, even if she didn't say that in so many words. "I'm so sorry, doll. You mean so much to me – I'd never willingly do anything like that to you. Never." 

"I know you wouldn't," she said quietly. "That's why we're talking."

"Can you forgive me?" I asked, afraid of the answer, tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. 

She stood up again, just looking at me for a long moment with tears were running down her face. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my chest aching intensely as I fought my need to comfort her even though I was the reason she was crying. I wanted so badly to reach for her but I didn't; I couldn't handle it if she backed away from me.

Sadie slowly opened her arms to me and I didn't hesitate, quickly wrapping my arms tightly around her and burying my face in her hair, driving Macy's putrid stench from my nose with Sadie's clean, light perfume and shampoo scent. Tears rolled down my face as I thought of how close I'd come to losing her again. 

"Sebastian, there's nothing for me to have to forgive you for. We both know that you weren't in control of yourself; you're the victim, not me." 

I clung to her like she was my lifeline, needing to touch her, to know that she was real and I wasn't just having this conversation in my mind. "Are you sure?" I breathed, so quietly I wasn't sure she even heard me but afraid to speak louder.

"Absolutely positively," she whispered, one hand sliding into my hair, her other arm tight around my neck. "Oh, Sebastian - I hate her. I hate her so much for what she did to you. Do you forgive me for what I said to you last night?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Sadie. As far as I'm concerned, it never happened because I don't remember it."

"I was just in shock, I think. I wasn't expecting-"

"Don't say it," I growled. "I'm not going to let her come between us because that's what she wants. She wants you to walk away from me so I'll go back to her – but I won't - I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she's ruined another one of my relationships because that means she won."

"I don't want to ever see her near you again, Sebastian," she said, pulling back to meet my eyes. I nodded, agreeing completely. "She fucking drugged you to take advantage of you – what's next? Kidnapping?"

"I'm getting a restraining order filed against her and I'm pressing charges – whatever they can get to stick. I won't have her coming after you or your family next. I love you, and I won't put you or the boys in danger."

"Good," she said. "I'll testify if it means she serves time. If she's done it once, she'll do it again."

"Chris said he would, too. He said I literally collapsed in the middle of a sentence. If he wouldn't have been there, I would've either hit my head on the coffee table or crashed through it."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "I shouldn't have left you last night, Sebastian. I wasn't thinking."

I stroked her face lightly. "If you'd been there, who knows what would've happened. I wasn't in control of myself - what if I hurt you, Sadie? I'm currently almost twice your weight. If I'd fallen, you would've had to leave me laying in the living room like a statue." I thought of myself as a decorative - naked - accent piece.

She shook her head, frowning. "I still shouldn't have left you. I'm so sorry-"

"You had to, doll - and I'm thankful you did. If Macy was willing to drug me, what would she do to you with no one there to stop her? It makes me feel sick just thinking about it." I swallowed hard, fighting the nausea that suddenly gripped me. "If the tables were turned, Sadie, and I walked in on you with someone else, I probably would've beat the shit out of the other guy. I know I couldn't have walked away."

"I can promise you'll never have to do that, Sebastian. Not if I have anything to say about it. You of all people should know that." 

I felt an intense wave of relief flood me because I did know that. Other than when we were filming, she'd refused to even kiss me while her husband had been alive, let alone anything more than that - much to my frustration at the time - but knowing that gave me that much more of a reason to believe she'd never cheat on me. Even though she hadn't allowed me to ask her, I considered Sadie my girlfriend in every way.

"I was afraid she'd managed to scare you off," I said, hugging her tight. 

"She didn't scare me off, but I can't forget what I saw," she said, her body tensing in my arms. She tried to push away from me but I wouldn't let her. "I see it every time I close my eyes, Sebastian – her riding you with that little smirk on her face." She shuddered roughly.

"Then we'll just have to replace those memories with ones of our own," I said, kissing her forehead. 

"I think I'd like that – eventually - but I don't think either of us are ready for that quite yet."

"I know. I now have a whole new appreciation for Bucky if that's what breaking through his brainwashing felt like." It was terrifying, not knowing what you had done or said but still semi-aware you were doing something. 

I kissed her nose and laughed as she scrunched it, rubbing it against my shirt before looking back up at me. Her eyes searched mine and I left it all up to her to decide if she wanted to kiss me or not, refusing to push her to it. She might have forgiven me, but that didn't mean that everything was all right between us yet.

She slowly closed the distance between us, softly touching her lips to mine, making the first move for once in real life - not just for a scene. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. She deepened the kiss, her hand sliding up my body to tangle in my hair and it was a while before we came up for air.

"Come home with me, Sadie," I said when we finally broke the kiss. "Please. I don't want to be there without you."

I felt her hesitation, but she eventually nodded. "Okay."

We heard clapping coming from the doorway and saw Chris and Scarlett standing there. Scarlett leaned her back against his chest, his long arms around her torso.

"You had us a little worried there when we didn't hear you talking anymore," Scarlett said. 

"I was afraid she'd killed you or something," Chris quipped, grinning. 

"I can generally control my murderous impulses, thank you very much," Sadie said, flipping him off.

"Oooh – is that an offer, doll?" Chris said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Over my dead body," I said, holding her tighter. "Back off, Evans. She's mine – you can't have all the good looking girls, ya know."


	19. 19

Sadie's POV

It was later in the afternoon when we went back to Sebastian's apartment to get ready for our night out with Chris and Scarlett. We'd been invited to a movie premiere, and for once I was looking forward to dressing up. I absolutely loved the dress I was going to wear tonight and couldn't wait to see Sebastian's reaction to it. 

He stopped hard at his door, not making a move to unlock it. Sebastian was holding my hand so tightly I was afraid he was going to leave marks and when I shifted so I could see his face, it looked like he was going to throw up.

"Come on," I said, reaching past him to unlock the door and backing inside. "You gonna camp on your doorstep all day?" I tugged at his hand, but he didn't move. 

"I don't want to go in," he said quietly. 

I reached up and touched his face, getting him to look at me. "Sebastian, I'll be with you the whole time. We have to get dressed for tonight yet, okay?"

"I'm putting this place up for sale tomorrow."

"Wait, you sell apartments here – you don't rent them?" I asked curiously, tugging him inside.

"It's complicated," he said with a smile, shutting the door. "Want to look at properties with me? I could really use your opinion."

"Sure. I love looking at houses."

"Great, because I'd already been thinking about finding a different place before – you know, something a little bigger, maybe even closer to Chris and Scarlett."

"Bigger? Why would you need more room than this?" I gestured at the large open space around me that wasn't even fully utilized, even with all the junk Sebastian had.

"Well, you see, there's this great girl I know that has a couple of boys that complain when they have to share a bed when they come to stay with me," he said seriously, pulling me into his arms.

"They complained to you? I'm going to beat them."

He snorted. Both of my boys were larger than I was already and they weren't done growing yet. "They're right, Sadie. I like having you and the boys staying with me, and if you're all going to be staying for most of the summer, I really should find a place with enough space for everyone." 

"You really were thinking about that already?" I asked, heading for the kitchen to get a drink of water, Sebastian following behind me. He plugged his phone in on the counter and hopped up to sit on it. I shook my head, but if he wanted to sit on his counter, he could.

"Yeah, I was," he said with a small embarrassed smile. "I'd like it if we had someplace that was well...ours."

I paused in the act of grabbing a glass out of the cupboard, looking over at him. I wasn't entirely sure I'd heard him correctly.

"Sebastian, are you asking me to move in with you when I'm here in town?" 

"Would you?"

I filled my glass at the filtered water dispenser on the sink and took a moment to consider the idea. I wasn't opposed to it, but I hadn't really thought about it, either. 

"I don't know what to say," I said slowly, looking at him over the rim of my glass. He held out a hand to me and pulled me over to him so I was standing between his legs, resting my hands on his heavily muscled thighs. 

"Then just say yes. I know you won't be here all the time, but when you are, I'd like to be with you." 

I supposed it really wouldn't be that different from now; I already stayed with Sebastian about 75% of the time when he was in New York when I had to come to town.

"Did Chris put you up to this because he wants his bed back to himself?" I asked suspiciously, finishing my water.

Sebastian grinned and shook his head. "No, but he did say you're a blanket stealer."

"I can't help it I get cold at night. He keeps his bedroom at like 60 degrees."

"Sadie? What do you think about it?" he asked, looking a little anxious that I hadn't answered yet.

"I'm not opposed to it," I said after a moment, letting him hear my doubt. "But what would the boys say about me moving in with you? It's only been six months now." I moved away from him, filling my glass again just to have something to do. Sebastian hopped down, coming closer.

"I don't know yet. I haven't talked to them about it if that's what you're wondering. I wanted to know what you thought about it first. If the only thing stopping you is a label, you know I'd love to be able to call you my girlfriend." He brought one of my hands to his lips, kissing my knuckles.

"Official terminology?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do I need to make it Facebook official too if I agree?"

He gave me a crooked little grin. "Maybe. Katie said we were already pretty much dating already. I think she just wants you to stop denying it."

"I can't believe that little cheater told you that! She and Maddy have a bet going with our aunts; I was planning on holding out until spring break just so Katie and Maddy wouldn't win."

He looked at me in shock. "When were you going to fill me in?"

"Yesterday, but then everything went to hell in a handbasket. I just found out about it on my way here when I asked Katie why she kept dropping hints that we needed to define our relationship status."

"Sadie," he said, setting me on the counter and kissing me gently.

"Sebastian," I mimicked his tone.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

I took a breath, letting it out slowly. I nodded, not trusting myself with words right now. His eyes lit up and he threw his arms around me, dragging me to the edge of the counter so I was closer to him. I wrapped my legs around him as his lips covered mine and it was a long time before we came up for air. 

"Does this mean you'll move in with me?" he asked, sliding his hands down my arms until my hands were engulfed by his.

"If you want me to," I hedged. "Are you sure about this? because I'm fine staying at a hotel or with Chris or Scarlett."

"I know you are, but I want you here with me. Sadie, you don't even leave so much as a toothbrush here between your visits."

"I don't know, it starts with a toothbrush," I laughed wryly. "And then the next thing you know I'll have taken over the whole bathroom counter with my stuff." I kissed him lightly. "Last chance for you to run away screaming."

"Never," he said with a grin. "You can take over the whole damn place if you wanted to and that wouldn't bother me one bit."

"You say that now-"

He cut me off with a quick kiss. "Always. Only you would try to talk me out of something even after I've made up my mind. Say yes, Sadie."

"Yes Sadie," I said with a giggle. He shot me an unamused glance. I got control of myself after a minute and leaned my forehead down to rest it on his. "Yes, Sebastian, I will leave a toothbrush at your place this time when I leave to go home."

"Our place," he corrected me. "And you can leave more than a toothbrush."

"Our place," I agreed with a smile, his smile widening as he processed my agreement.

"I love you, Sadie!" he whooped, suddenly pulling me all the way off the counter and twirling us around the kitchen.

 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

"Put me down you maniac!" Sadie insisted breathlessly, her fingers digging into my biceps in fear. "I know how strong you are – you don't need to pick me up to prove it!"

I set her back on her feet, kissing her temple apologetically. "Sorry doll – I just got a little carried away. You just make me so happy, Sadie." 

"You're lucky you're cute, Sebastian," she grumbled, taking a deep breath. "Isn't that how all of this got started?"

"You know you love me," I teased, laughing when she only flipped me off and rolled her eyes in response. I knew she wasn't ready to say those three little words back to me, but that was all right. I knew she loved me just the same; I could see how much she cared in the little things she did, the touch of her hand on mine when no one was looking, the way she always made time to talk to me no matter how busy our schedules were.

Sadie leaned into me, laying her head on my shoulder. "I could go for a nice long nap about now."

"I'd go for that, but I don't think we have that much time today even if I wanted to go back in my bedroom anytime soon."

Sadie tensed at the reminder, pulling back so she could see my face. "Do you remember her using you?"

I shook my head. "Not really; I think the drugs had really kicked in by then because everything is hazy then."

"Did you use protection?"

"I don't know," I asked, my heart sinking. "I didn't usually bring girls home before, so I'm not even sure if I have anything here." My previous girlfriends had rarely stayed over at my place, preferring me to come over to theirs instead, which had been fine with me.

"Why else don't you want to go in your room if it isn't just bad memories?"

"It reeks of her perfume – at least it did this morning...it makes me want to puke." 

Sadie's jaw firmed. "I can take care of that. Give me a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay." 

She kissed my cheek before turning and walking out of kitchen. "Be right back."

I heard the sound of my washing machine starting a couple minutes later and realized she was changing the sheets on my bed to get rid of any trace of Macy. She came back into the kitchen a little more than five minutes after that.

"Done. I hope that bitch rots in hell."

"You're not the only one who hopes that," I said, shuddering. 

Sadie came over to me and put her arms around me lightly, resting her forehead on mine. "I have an idea for a way to get her out of your head if you don't mind trying something with me."

"Shoot." I'd try just about anything to get Macy out of my head - and out of my life.

"What if we make it a game?" Sadie asked, studying me.

"How?"

"Each thing that you remember with her, you do over – with me. Replace crappy memories with ones you want to keep. Do you think you can do that?"

"But I don't even really know what I all did, doll." I think that was what I was most afraid of, other than not being in control of myself.

"I know some of it, and we'll work with what little you can remember if you can tell me what you do think you know, okay?"

"Okay."

"Come here," she said, dragging me over to the front door. "We'll start with the last time I saw you and work backwards. You stand here." She placed me near the door. "You know about safe words, right? I'd hope so after you made me watch that movie with you."

I nodded, smiling at the memory of that night. "As I recall, you didn't really mind watching it."

"Sebastian."

"Green is good, yellow or orange is slow, red is stop."

"At every point, I'm going to ask for a color, and I won't move on until you give me the go ahead. If you say red at any time, I'll stop and move away from you, okay?"

I stared at her for a long moment before nodding. "Okay."

"May I touch you, Sebastian?"

"Yes," I said, watching her with interest.

I didn't know if it would work or not but I was willing to give it a try. She skimmed her hands over my torso, her eyes holding mine. She stopped when she reached the hem of my shirt, grabbing it in both hands. 

"Color?"

"Green."

She eased my shirt up, her hands on my skin the whole time, making it a fully sensual experience. She let me pull it off when it cleared my head. I tossed it aside, letting my arms fall down to my sides and resting my hands on her hips.

"May I kiss you, Sebastian?"

"Yes," I rasped, vaguely recalling facing her last night in a similar state of undress. She brought her lips to mine, first gently, then firmer. After a moment, she broke the kiss, her hands at the waistband of my jeans, toying with the button. Her eyes met mine and I was pleased to see that this was affecting her just as much as it was affecting me. Her pupils were already blown, almost no color left to her iris and her breathing had become slightly more shallow.

"Color?"

"Green," I said without hesitation, watching her face as she undid my jeans and shoved them off my hips, leaving me in just my boxers, my arousal unmistakable. I stepped out of my pants, kicking them aside to have her pull me back against her, backing into the door firmly with her body.

"Color?"

"Still green." I pulled her closer, covering her lips with mine, unable to wait for her to lead. She pulled back slightly, asking me mildly. 

"Sebastian, do you remember trying to stop me from leaving last night?"

"You said I did and Chris said I wanted to go after you, but I just can't remember for sure. I think I remember seeing you, but I don't know at what point in the day it was or how long Macy'd been here."

"I'm going to guess she'd been there a while by the time I got here. I took a cab to Scarlett's around 6:30. I thought you'd forgotten I was coming and this was how you were going to tell me about your new girlfriend."

"The only girlfriend I want is you, Sadie. If this is the new memory, I already like it better, even if you do have too many clothes on."

"Nice try. I like this memory better, too. You taste like you," she said kissing me. "You smell like you, too."

"You're who I wanted to see, not her. Never her." I buried my face in her hair, Sadie's light, intoxicating scent the only thing I could smell. I kissed down her neck, my hands sliding under her shirt with the need to feel her skin on mine. 

I backed her towards the living room as I claimed her lips again, picking her up when she would have tripped over my discarded clothes. I felt her rapid intake of breath as the fear grabbed at her before I set her back on her feet a moment later.

"What do you remember about this room?" she asked as I steered her to the couch.

"Her," I growled. "Do the same words work for you?"

"Yes, Sebastian."

"I like that phrase," I said, reaching for the hem of her shirt and indicating I wanted her to remove it. "Color?"

"Green." Her hands let go of me so she could take her shirt off, tossing it aside to reveal a lacy black bra and her creamy skin. She flushed under my heated gaze and her hands moved to cover her stomach.

"You are so beautiful, Sadie," I rasped, taking her hands into mine. "Don't hide yourself from me."

"I have scars and stretch marks, Sebastian. I'm not-"

"You are beautiful, Sadie, and nothing you can say will change my mind." I kissed her fiercely, backing up until we reached the couch. I skimmed my hands over her smooth skin, sliding one finger under the waistband of her jeans and tugging at them. "Color?" I asked, meeting her eyes.

"Green," she said with a slight hesitation. I wasn't convinced she was completely committed to her answer.

"If you want to change colors at any time, you can," I said. "I don't want you to ever feel like you have to do anything you're not ready for, Sadie. Understand?" 

"Yes, Sebastian. The same goes for you, too."

"I know. May I remove these?"

"Allow me," she said with a saucy grin, pushing me back with a hand on my chest so I sat down hard on the couch. She went over to my stereo and turned it on; it was right where I'd left it, on some top 100 station that I didn't mind just as a new song came on and she starting rolling her hips, almost dancing. "I love this song!" 

She slowly came back over to me, moving to the music. She turned off the overhead light but the room was still plenty bright from the ambient light coming in through the window. I smiled as I watched her shimmying out of her skinny jeans to the music and kicking them aside. I held out a hand to her and pulled her onto my lap, laughing as she lip synced to the song, her simple joy entrancing.

The song ended and she shifted her focus back to me as her hands skimmed over the muscles of my torso and up my arms as I lifted them up to reach for her, wanting her closer to me. I kissed down her neck, across her collar bone. I smiled as I found a sensitive spot, a light shudder running over her skin as I gave it extra attention.

A ringing phone cut into our focus on each other and I let go of her when she pushed at me so she could go answer it. I took a minute to let my heart rate return to normal while I listened to her talking to what I assumed was her sister Katie. I was pretty sure Sadie wouldn't have answered for just anyone right then the way she'd melted into me. 

I thought about her idea and so far, it was working – what little I did remember of Macy's presence was being thoroughly erased by Sadie. I still didn't want to go in my bedroom again in case Macy's perfume lingered - I didn't want to smell it right now. Not when I was finally feeling like I could be free of her forever.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear Sadie ending the call, startled when she spoke from the doorway, leaning on the doorjamb in just her lacy black underwear. My mouth went dry at the sight and my arousal came back with a vengeance. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" She said with a smile, head cocked to the side as she studied me.

"How did I ever get so lucky to find you?" I said, knowing better than to voice what was currently going through my head if I wanted her to continue where we'd left off.

She laughed. "Well, your timing stinks, Stan, but I'd say I was the lucky one."

"Doll, you had a panic attack and got shot three times the first day you met me. I seriously question your definition of luck. Are you sure we're talking about the same word?"

She snorted and came back over to me slowly. "We have to start getting ready, Sebastian. I still have to shower and do my hair."

"Shower with me?" I asked, getting up and putting my arms around her lightly, feeling her warm, soft skin against mine.

"Umm, yeah – no, I'm not letting you watch me shave my legs. Besides, your shower isn't big enough for the two of us."

"Just another reason to find a bigger place," I sighed, giving her a quick kiss. 

"I'm going to go get in the shower alone now," she said, letting go of me and picking up her pants from the floor. I followed her out of the living room and went to check my phone in the kitchen to see if my agent had gotten back to me yet.

 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

Sadie took her sweet time in the shower, giving me time to think things through and cool down again. Katie had called at about the perfect time, keeping us from losing track of time. I tended to get carried away when I was kissing Sadie; her feel and taste intoxicating. Just the lightest touch of her hands set me on fire. I wanted her more than ever, even knowing that she still wasn't ready for more than we'd done so far. 

I heard the shower turn off and a couple minutes later Sadie called out to me.

"You can get in now, Sebastian."

"Coming," I said as I headed back to the bathroom, the scent of Sadie's favorite shampoo filling the humid air.

She was standing in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around her body, brushing her long curly hair, which was loose and flowing over halfway down her back. I loved running my fingers through her long, soft hair and twisting the silky strands around my fingers whenever she'd let me play with it. I came up behind her and kissed her shoulder, meeting her eyes in the mirror. 

"Are you sure we have to go tonight?"

"Positive," she smiled. "Lizzie will kill us if we miss it and you know it."

"Witchy-poo would kill me for sure. You, I dunno. I think she likes you better than me."

Sadie snorted. "I can't believe you call her that. Witchy-poo?"

"Chris still calls me Winter Boo Bear occasionally," I said wryly. "My nicknames for Mackie are colorful and mostly inappropriate for mixed company."

Sadie laughed. "Careful, babe; your Bucky is showing again."

I gave her that smile she liked, taking on Bucky's accent again. "I don't think ya mind, do ya doll?"

"Not one bit," she said with a grin as she reached for her hair products. "You better get in the shower, Boo Bear. I need to finish getting ready."

I put my arms around her from behind, holding her tight to me. I kissed down her neck, dragging my five o-clock shadow over her shoulder, smiling to myself as she shuddered when I found another sensitive spot. She leaned into me, the towel loosening enough to give me a view that I wouldn't forget any time soon.

"What's the neckline on your dress cover?" I rasped as I switched to the other side of her neck, sucking lightly on her skin.

"You'll see in a bit. No marks, Sebastian," she said firmly, kissing me lightly, her tongue flicking teasingly at my lower lip. I groaned and pulled her closer until she nipped my lip. "Get in the shower or we're going to be late. Chris is picking us up in the limo in less than an hour." 

When I didn't let go of her, she nipped my lip harder as a warning, shifting so she could reach my neck, her teeth lightly scraping my skin. If I didn't let go of her soon, she'd bite harder and it would leave a mark. I decided that if I didn't want to have to deal with Chris' teasing for the rest of the night, I should get moving like she wanted me to. I knew it would take her longer to do herself up in red carpet worthy hair and makeup than it would take me to get showered and dressed.

"Fine," I said, loosening my grip on her reluctantly. "No staring at my ass, doll."

She laughed and pushed me back. "After seeing The Bronze, you've got absolutely no chance of me not looking, Lance Tucker. Was it fun playing the kind of jerk you've never been in real life?"

"Yeah, but I had to work at it to make him such an asshole - and that sex scene was one of the craziestly choreographed scenes I've ever acted in," I said as I turned around and dropped my drawers, stepping into the shower and closing the door. 

"It was hilarious watching it, just so you know. Like laugh out loud funny - and then the next movie The Martian, you played a character that was the complete opposite."

"What can I say, I like a challenge."

"That explains a few things. Come to your room when you get out. I'm going to need help with my dress."

"Putting it on or taking it off?"

"Sebastian, retrieve control of your brain from your dick and use it," Sadie said tartly, making me laugh.

I took a long, hot shower, even taking the time to shave. Bucky was back to being clean-shaven again, so I had to put a little more effort into trying to stay smooth. On the plus side, Sadie liked me without the beard better, so I had some motivation as well. By the time I got out of the shower, Sadie was already done at the mirror and out of the bathroom. 

This little bit of domesticity was nice – especially since it wasn't something I normally got to experience with Sadie. I'd watched her and Chris getting ready for events several times before and I'd always envied the ease they had around each other, teasing and giving each other shit. They truly were only just friends – very close friends. 

Sadie and I had always been something more than just friends from the start. There was no denying the sexual tension between us, along with an intense awareness of the other person that separated our relationship from a platonic friendship. 

I wrapped a towel around my hips, brushing my teeth and doing my hair before heading to my bedroom. I stopped outside the door, still irrationally afraid of entering until I heard Sadie moving around in my room. If she was in there, I could go in. I opened the door to see her holding her dress up to herself, a fair amount of her full, creamy breasts showing above the loose bodice. My mouth went dry and I wasn't sure the towel would stay put with how hard I instantly got from seeing her like this.

"Can you finish doing me up, Sebastian?" she asked, presenting her bare back to me, which did absolutely nothing to alleviate my now throbbing hard-on because her gown had a low back that barely covered her pert ass. The top of a pair of sheer, lacy white thongs were visible to me as I moved closer, gripping the fabric carefully and fastening the hidden hook before locating the zipper. 

"Sure, doll," I said, pulling up the zipper as she held the bodice where she wanted it, covering most of her lower back now that it was closed. I gently tugged at some loose pieces of fabric that were resting on her shoulders that I assumed must either tie or hook into place somehow. "What do these loose bits do? Should I tie them?"

"No," she said quietly, looking over her shoulder at me. "They criss cross my back and there are little hooks hidden under the hem. If you slide your finger under the fabric by my shoulder blades you'll feel them."

"Which one goes on top?" I asked, unable to see any difference between the two strips of fabric. 

"This one," she said pointing.

I slid my hands slowly down her back, making goosebumps stand out on her skin when I slid one finger under the hem to find the hooks she'd mentioned. I made quick work of attaching them and making sure the straps laid flat so they wouldn't chafe her skin, checking to be sure the little hooks didn't dig into her. 

She looked stunning, the decorative straps covering the two smaller scars on her back while leaving it mostly open, which I knew was why she'd chosen this dress. She was still a little self conscious about them at times, no matter what Chris or I said to her.

"Done," I said, removing my fingers. I intended to pull her into my arms, but she was faster and stepped back from me quicker than I expected.

"You will not crush my dress before the event, Sebastian," she said warningly. "I like this dress."

"What about after?" I asked with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes at me. "We'll see about after - you damage it, you buy it."

"I think I can afford it. I love the way that color looks on you, doll. You look so beautiful in it."

"Thank you, Sebastian. Now will you get dressed? We're running short on time." 

She moved over to the bed, carefully arranging her dress so she could sit and put her strappy heels on. My eyes followed her as I found a pair of underwear and socks. Mentally shaking myself, I went into my closet to get the rest of my clothes. 

After seeing her dress, I was going to need to pick a different outfit for tonight. The navy blue of the suit I'd originally planned to wear would clash with the blue of her dress. I decided to go for the standard penguin suit: one of my nicer black suits with a white dress shirt and black tie. I pulled on my underwear and pants, bringing the rest out of my closet to set on the bed. 

I realized as I came back into the bedroom why I was okay with my room again, and it wasn't just because Sadie was in here with me. It smelled like fresh air and Sadie: a combination of her light perfume and vanilla lotion. She had finished getting dressed in my room for a reason tonight. Sadie had changed the bedding and after seeing her sitting on my bed watching me finish getting dressed, nothing in this room was left to remind me of Macy.

Sadie's phone buzzed as I pulled on my suit coat and she glanced at it before typing a reply.

"Chris says they'll be here in five minutes."

I pulled on my shoes and put my wallet and phone in my pockets. "I'm ready if you are, doll."

"Take a picture with me before we head down? I promised Katie I'd send her a picture of us all glammed up."

"I'd love to," I said with a grin, taking her phone from her and putting my arm around her for a selfie. "Let me take one of just you too so she can see the whole thing."

"Make it quick," she said, smiling and posing as I snapped a couple pics to make sure I got one that would work before handing her back her phone. She picked up a small clutch and slid her phone in, shrugging into a light wrap that went with her dress as we headed down hand in hand to meet the limo.


	20. 20

Sadie's POV

"What do you think, doll?" Sebastian asked, a sparkle in his eye.

"It's perfect, Sebastian," I said quietly as we finished looking at the last place on his agent's list. We'd seen five nice places already, but this one was definitely the best one. After all we'd been through already, things looked like they were finally going to start falling into place for us. "I love it. What do you think?"

"That I'm going to put an offer in on it. It has everything we wanted." He pulled me into his arms and I slipped my arms around his torso, leaning my head on his chest. "And it's available right away, so we can move in as soon as you'd like."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Me? You mean you, Sebastian. I hope you're paying someone to haul everything - because everything I keep in New York fits in a large suitcase in addition to the one I brought with me this time, and most of it's still at Chris' place."

"When you put it that way, hell yeah I'm springing for full service movers. I don't even have to pack stuff if I don't want to, other than valuables and breakable keepsakes."

"You should go talk details, Sebastian," I said, reaching up to give him a kiss. "I've got to go visit my agent to sign some papers before the office closes for the day. I'm already going to be cutting it a little close." 

"For what? Tell your agent you'll be by Monday. I'd like you sign the offer with me."

I shook my head in bemusement. "We started dating yesterday and today you want my name on the property? Pretty sure even Chris would question your decision making process on that, Sebastian. Thank you, but I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because if – God forbid – something happens to you, I'm pretty sure I can't afford this place – not that I remember what this one's worth, but if it's about the same as the others, sorry babe. I've had to deal with enough estate stuff already; I already know what my lawyer would tell me on this."

"So that's a no?"

I glanced at my phone, sighing. "That's a hard no. Do you think I can make it to my agent's by 5?"

He shook his head and smile. "Not a chance. Look at the traffic, doll." He steered me over to the window and we looked down at the choked streets, traffic hardly moving. "See?"

"I see," I groaned. "I'll text her quick while you talk details."

"Then will you tell me what you're signing papers for?" he asked, kissing my temple and letting go of me.

"Over a glass of wine?"

"Over a glass of wine while we make supper?" he countered, giving me puppy dog eyes. "I saw there were some pork chops in the fridge yet."

"Deal," I said with a smile.

* *

I washed my hands and pulled the meat out of the fridge while Sebastian poured us each a glass of wine.

"So I thought I told you - they want me for the next movie in the series, too," I said as I pulled out spices and turned the oven on. 

"No, you didn't, but that's great, Sadie!" He handed me my glass and clinked his with mine. I took a sip, not sure how he was going to take this conversation.

"I've known for about a month now and I've been trying to come to a decision on what will be the best."

"Best for who? You and me? I'd love to work with you on this next one too, Sadie. You know that."

"For my family, I guess; I've been away a lot this past year and at the rate things are going, next year's going to look the same way. I love filming with you all, and Chris said I should do it to finish off my character's arc. So what I'm saying is - do you think you can put up with me for one last movie?"

He looked at me in surprise. "What do you mean one last movie? One last Marvel movie?"

"One last movie for good," I said slowly as I sprinkled various spices over the meat. "After this one, at least as far as I know right now, Evelyn's part in the story is done. I'm just not sure I want to commit to anything else yet. Liam's going to be a senior this fall and I'd like to be around a little more for the boys." 

"Shooting for that one won't start until what – June at the very earliest?" Sebastian said, thinking things through. I nodded. "So after Liam graduates. There are a couple other stand-alones in the MCU that they have to finish shooting first before they'll get to that one - whatever they've decided to call it." 

"That's what I was told," I said, looking over at him. "How many more are you in for after the one we're working on right now?"

"I've still got 3 more for my contract and I honestly don't know how they're going to work Bucky in after this next one." I could tell Sebastian didn't like the reminder that I was going to be away from him more. "I'm going to be tied up filming for large chunks of time for at least the next two years the way my current schedule looks, Sadie – and that's just the Marvel movies."

"You've got other things in the works, too, don't you? You've said you had to meet up with another director a while ago, when I was in Cali with Chris and Scarlett."

"Yeah, several things; very few of us only do one thing at a time. You're the exception, doll – not the rule. I signed on a while ago to do a couple other projects with other studios that are due to start filming soon, too."

"Like how long ago?" I asked, taking a drink of my wine, watching him bite his lip as he thought. That little quirk was honestly one of the biggest turn-ons for me because it made him even more good looking. 

"Over a year. Before I'd ever met you."

"Yay! More movies to watch my sexy man in," I said, tossing the pork chops in the oven and washing my hands again before setting a timer on my phone. It didn't bother me that he was in such high demand right now, I'd learned that was just the way things were in show business. "Anything good?" 

"You know it. I haven't read the scripts recently, but I'm excited to do something other than Bucky for a while again."

"But you're such a great Bucky," I said, putting my arms around his neck. "I'm going to miss you on set next week."

"Not as much as I'm gonna miss you. I wish I could go to Malibu with you again; we never did get to finish our date there."

"Not my fault your fans tracked you down. Someone should know better than to post to Instagram while we're out and about."

"Our fans," he clarified, raising an eyebrow at me. "And I couldn't help it. You looked so beautiful that day the way the light was hitting you just then."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, babe."

"Except with you 98% of the time," he complained.

"I'll admit I'm not completely immune to your pretty face."

"I was starting to wonder about that as often as you manage to turn me down," Sebastian said as he pulled me into his arms, kissing me in a way that should be illegal he was so good at it. He eventually pulled back, letting us catch our breath. "Look, I know where you're coming from, but hear me out."

"I'm listening," I said warily. I knew he'd been thinking hard from the moment I'd told him I was planning on retiring from acting.

"What if one of the roles your agent wants you to take is what you're meant to do? Everyone only knows you as Evelyn. You're so good at acting, Sadie - you could really go somewhere with it."

"I'm not saying I won't ever act again, but I need to take some time to be with my boys too, Sebastian." I reached up to touch his face lightly. "This past year has been so crazy - two movies, five continents and a lot of traveling. I'm ready for a little break after we wrap this one, get my feet back under me again before I have to do the next press tour."

At my request, my agent had negotiated my contracts so that my filming schedule was set up so that I only came in for one to two week periods of time. It wasn't as big a deal if school was out and the boys could come with me wherever we were shooting - unless the Russo's made other arrangements with me ahead of time. Since I'd joined the cast, opening weekend numbers for the movies I was in had been 25% higher than Marvel had anticipated, so they'd granted me that request.

"What if I said I knew someone who really wants to work with you and it's a great script?" He asked, not ready to give in without a solid maybe from me. I recognized the mulish set of his jaw quite well by this point. Of the two of us, he was by far the more stubborn one.

I sighed, thinking about what he was really trying to say. "I guess I'm saying I'm open to possibilities, but it needs to be the right kind of role for me, Sebastian." 

"Just give it a read through before you make any permanent decisions."

"Now I'm curious. Who were you talking to about this - Chris, Tony or Scarlett?"

"You mean Bob? You have to put a dollar in the Tony jar again," he laughed. "That's three times this week already."

"I can't help it he's been Tony Stark for so long I forget that's not his name. Seeing him as Sherlock Holmes was a little trippy, too." Most of the time I still tended to call Robert 'Tony' - but I wasn't the only one, which is how the Tony jar started.

He smiled, leaning closer to me and giving me a sweet kiss. "I really can't say yet; just promise you'll actually read the script for me, okay Sadie?"

"I think I'm going to have to now. You've got me really curious, Stan."

"Good. This is kind of fun, knowing something you don't. I should do this more often."

"Let's not and say we did. You know how much I hate surprises, Boo Bear."

"As much as I hate that nickname?"

"Very possible."

"So now that we have a place big enough for you all to stay in that wasn't a hotel," he said, kissing me lightly. "I was hoping you'd try to be here more often - at least if this is where I am."

"They took your offer already?" I said in surprise.

He held his glass up for a toast and clinked it on mine again. "They did, and my agent said she already had an offer on my place sight unseen just because of its location."

"That's great! I guess you've got some packing to do then," I said with a smile. "When are you going to move?"

"The only thing I need is you. The rest of this stuff the movers can pack and move for me," he grinned. "As soon as I can get everything lined up, we're moving, so the next time you're here we'll be in our new place."

"The boys are going to be so excited to not have to share a bed anymore."

"Will you still try to come visit for a weekend here and there even though you won't have to come here for filming?"

"I'll try, Sebastian," I said, stroking his smooth face. "Planes go both directions. You should come see me when you have a chunk of down time."

"I was planning on it. Sometimes a slower pace is a good change," he grinned, kissing me again. "What was Chris trying to plan for you last night? He sounded pretty insistent."

"He was very insistent. Chris wants me and the boys stay with him at his Hollywood house when we go to California for filming."

Sebastian sighed. "Which is going to be often for this next movie. There's a lot of studio filming to be done for your scenes, doll. I'm glad he's going to be with you. I hate the thought of you having to stay there alone for so long."

"I know – I was so relieved to hear he was going to be there for most of it. It's going to be a challenge with me there and you somewhere else," I said quietly. "Are you still sure you want me as a girlfriend?"

"You can't get rid of me that easily, Sadie."

"Wasn't planning on it-"

"Good," he said, peppering me with kisses, not letting me speak for a while as his tongue teased mine in a way that made me a little weak in the knees.

"I want to make this work," I said seriously, catching his face between my hands and meeting his beautiful blue eyes. 

His lips quirked slightly. "Me too. I love you, doll."

I pressed my lips to his and pulled him tight, the timer on my phone saving me from having to make a response to him just then. It wasn't that I didn't care for him, I just couldn't say those words to anyone else yet.

 

* * *  
Sebastian's POV

After we'd been released from the set for the day, I held Sadie's hand as we walked into her agent's office, the cheery receptionist chatting animatedly with Sadie while throwing little glances at me periodically. 

"Sadie – come on in," a woman around our own age said, smiling welcomingly. "Sorry it didn't work out the other day but today is a little less hectic anyways. How are the boys?" She gave Sadie a hug as she ushered us into a decent sized office, and I know Sadie saw the speculative glance her agent gave me as she made the introductions.

"They're good. A little upset they had to stay home this time, but otherwise fine. Track started, so they couldn't miss practice if they want to compete in two weeks. Rules are rules." Sadie took a seat at the table, absently swiveling in the leather chair as she talked.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Stan," she said, shaking my hand firmly. "I wasn't aware that you would be joining us today. Should I be expecting to hear from Emily after this?"

I shook my head; Emily knew I was only coming here for Sadie. Emily had been with me a long time and I was always pleased with her work on my behalf. "No, we're just doing some errands together this afternoon. Did you get the scripts I asked her to send over for Sadie?"

"I did and I glanced through them briefly before making a couple of phone calls for more details," she said as she walked over to a pile of paper and picked up two scripts, bringing them over to the table. "I thought they'd already been cast, but that wasn't the case. I can certainly see why you thought of Sadie for these roles."

"Would they be a good fit for me?"

"Certainly. I would love to see you do both of them because they are such fresh ideas and the characters they want you to audition for are delightfully complex."

"So what are they about?" Sadie asked curiously. "Sebastian wouldn't tell me anything."

"Well, I think you should give them a read through before I say anything else," she said, pushing the scripts over to Sadie with a smile. "I'm not sure I can do them justice. You do have until 5 pm on Friday to accept for reading slots for next week here in town. I can tell you you're already shortlisted, so you stand a very good possibility of getting these parts."

"I'm certainly intrigued. Would either of them interfere with my current shooting schedule?"

"Not that I'm aware of. One has a 18 day max schedule for the whole thing and the other would be completed before your next Marvel commitment would start but would have a full 50 day schedule."

"Good to know, I guess. I'll need to read through them before I give you any kind of answer. If I didn't even know about them until yesterday how can I be on their short list?" After only a little over a year in the business, she still didn't quite understand how a lot of things worked, but she wasn't afraid to ask for clarification.

"Well, you certainly aren't an unknown anymore, Sadie." Her agent said as she met both of our eyes briefly before explaining things to Sadie. "I get a lot of calls from directors interested in you, which you already know. Most of them I deny if there's any nudity or sex scenes, per your preferences. Your name has been brought up a lot since the release of your second movie – which was some of your best work so far, to be honest."

"This next movie is going to blow everyone out of the water when they see your scenes, doll – and since you've been consistently seen out and about with me, Scarlett, and Chris." Sadie gave me a long, searching look before looking back over to her agent, who was nodding. 

"He's right, Sadie. Directors pay attention to that kind of stuff because a lot of times it's who you know that gets you roles. You're friendly, funny, beautiful and you've got a squeaky clean reputation."

"Plus you know the Russo's love you," I said, grinning at her. "Half the time I swear they switch things up just so they can get your actual reaction to something."

She rolled her eyes at me, but smiled. "And then have me repeat it 20 times. All right, I hear you. I'll look at them, okay? Let's take care of old business first, Mikaela." 

She put a contract in front of Sadie to sign and started talking her through it. I listened, not saying anything. Mikaela certainly knew what she was doing and had managed to get her one hell of an up front deal with a hefty backend percentage considering this was only for her fourth movie ever.

 

* * *

Sadie's POV

After leaving my agent's office, we stopped at a nearby Starbucks to get coffee. Since there was a long line, I let Sebastian order while I skimmed through the smaller of the two scripts. This one seemed to be a pretty short movie but it had some interesting characters.

We got our coffees and went to go sit down at a little table by the windows. "Tell me what you know about this one," I said, shoving the sheaf of paper over in front of him.

"You read it already?" he said in surprise. "I know you read fast but geez."

"I skimmed it. Who's signed already and which part would I read for?"

"So you're going to read for it?"

"Only if you tell me what I want to know. I'm not going to go in there to get blindsided like I did for my first movie."

He rubbed his face in embarrassment, knowing exactly what I was referring to. "You'd be reading for the female lead, of course. I didn't see you being interested in any of the other female roles in that one."

"I'm not. Who's the male lead?" I asked, taking a drink.

"Kellan Lutz."

I swallowed hard so I didn't spit my coffee out. "You're kidding me." He shook his head and grinned. "You're serious? You know he's from North Dakota, right?"

"I heard this one's supposed to be filmed somewhere in the Midwest and he asked if I'd make sure you saw the script. I wasn't going to give it to you without reading it first and after I read it, I knew you had to see it."

"I didn't even know you knew him."

"He goes to Don's gym when he's in town and we see each other at events sometimes."

"This seems like a small script."

"It's going to be a made-for-Netflix movie. Most scripts aren't as detailed as the ones you've used so far because that's something that's specific to the Russo's. Marvel lets them do their own kind of thing, but it works for them."

"So it's more of a guideline than a word for word kind of thing."

"You could say that. They're probably still working on some of that with whoever they've got for a writer. The other thing about it is that it'll have a short filming schedule - usually less than three weeks because they're not big budget films - so you won't have to be gone for long."

"Okay. I'll read through it in more detail later, but I'm definitely interested so far."

"Great. What about the other one?" he asked, sipping his Frappuccino.

"What can you tell me about it?" I asked, studying his face. This one he wasn't as enthusiastic about and I wondered why that was. 

"Nothing until you've had time to look through it," he declared.

I rolled my eyes at him and sighed. "I'm holding you to that, Sebastian."

"I can tell you it's a regular movie, so you'd be looking at about a month of shooting minimum depending on how the schedule's set up. Your agent can work with the studio on specifics like she does for your Marvel contracts."

"Good, because I don't want to be away from the boys for that long. Isaac said you talked to him and Liam about everything."

"I did. They said they're excited to see the new place and hinted that they could meet us here for the weekend. I said we were planning on flying home either Thursday night or Friday afternoon depending on how shooting went."

"Popped their little bubbles, did you?" I said knowingly.

"You know it," he said with a grin. He reached for my hand and linked fingers with me, running his thumb over my palm. "They also gave me a tentative blessing to date you for now. I think I'm on trial status, actually."

"Subject to their approval?"

"They didn't say, but I think so. Katie was pretty excited, though - other than Gracie apparently somehow managed to hear my voice and then I had to FaceTime Katie to talk to her too." He gave me a smug grin and mimicked my niece's voice. "Sebba snugga?"

I snorted. He had no idea the havoc he'd caused at Katie's house since the day Gracie had claimed him as hers. "Way to cause a meltdown - that explains the Snapchat I got from Katie then - and the notice that they'll all be there Saturday for the weekend. Poor Katie is going to have to count sleeps again for Gracie."

"Sleeps?" he asked in confusion, making me laugh at the face he was making just then.

"Gracie doesn't really understand time, let alone day and night, so they cross off days on the calendar after each sleep - each night - and then she knows when she gets to see you. That girl sure loves her Sebba."

"The feeling is mutual," he said, standing up. "Ready to head home? We can even take the subway if you want."

"You're not going to talk me out of it?"

"Sadie, if you're going to live in New York part time, you're going to have to learn how to use the subway system sometime."


	21. 21

Easter 2018  
Sebastian's POV

"Come on boys! Your mom's going to think we got lost if we don't get going soon. It's gonna be supper time before we get to Katie's." 

"I can't find my other shoe anywhere!" Isaac shouted from downstairs. "It's the green one!"

"Liam, where'd Isaac put his shoes this time?" I asked in exasperation.

"Look in the laundry room," Liam said from the kitchen as he finished unloading the dishwasher. "You asked him to switch loads last night when we got home, so it's probably in there."

I walked over to the laundry room and picked up the pile of dirty towels from the floor and put them in their basket, leaving one green tennis shoe on the floor.

"Found it! It's in here, Isaac!"

"Coming - thanks, Sebastian. I've got the iPads, Liam," Isaac said as he retrieved his shoe from me and slid it on. 

"Are you done, Liam?"

"Almost. I just need to put the rest of the silverware away. Will you make sure Isaac shut all the lights off downstairs, Seb?"

"On it." I jogged down the steps to make sure all the lights were shut off and make sure the faucets were all the way off this time. Last time I hadn't checked the tap had run slowly all day. Coming back upstairs I told the boys, "I've already got the Easter baskets in the car, so lock the door on your way out, Liam. Isaac – get your butt in the car."

"Okaaay Sebastian," Isaac said, skipping to the door. "Can I drive?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a drivers license?"

"Not yet. I have to take Driver's Ed first this summer and then Mom said I can get my permit."

"Then no," I said firmly. "When you have a valid permit, then we'll talk about letting you drive my car."

"Awww!"

I rolled my eyes at the almost 14 year old's disappointment. I wasn't sure who was going to be happier to see Sadie today – me or the boys. I'd volunteered to stay with the boys when Katie'd called to say she needed some help with the baby and getting everything ready for Easter. Her husband was gone for work and she was feeling a little overwhelmed, so Sadie and I flew into Sioux Falls a couple days early from an on location shoot. I'd dropped her off at Katie's on our way by and then continued on to Sadie's to hang out with the boys until we needed to come down for the holiday. 

"So are you and Mom going to get married, Sebastian?" Isaac asked out of the blue as I pulled onto the highway.

"Where'd that come from?" I wondered, turning to give him a look.

"I was just thinking," he said, looking down at his game. I didn't answer him right away because I was struggling to comes to term with his question. "So are you?"

"I'd like to marry Sadie. I just don't think she's ready to think about that yet,do you?" 

"Not yet. I think you'd be an okay stepdad."

"You know I'd never replace your dad, right?"

"Right, but I mean you're pretty good with Gracie and you said you wanted kids when we asked you," Isaac explained.

"I do, but don't you two count as kids?" I asked, mentally reeling.

"Yeah, I suppose – but wouldn't you want one of your own?" Liam asked, watching me from the passenger seat. "We're almost grown up, so it's not quite the same."

"I take it you two have had this conversation already?"

They both nodded. "Yeah," Isaac grinned. "Then I wouldn't be the baby anymore!"

"We wouldn't mind a baby sister," Liam added. "We don't have one of those."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said, feeling like someone had pulled rug out from under me. A thought occurred to me and I figured it was safer to ask now than to assume. "You haven't told your mom this, have you?"

"We thought we'd wait until she's going through baby withdrawal after leaving Aunt Katie's," Liam said with a smirk. "Dad always said we were enough to make him want to tear his hair out when we were little so when Mom talked about babies, he'd start reminding her of all the trouble we got into to get her to forget about wanting another baby." 

These two were going to be trouble when they got older – scratch that. They were trouble already, I'd just forgotten how devious they could be. "Smart man. Babies are a lot of work, you know."

"We know," Liam said seriously. "Mom makes us babysit our cousins every holiday. They sure poop a lot."

"And pee a lot," Isaac added.

"You know how long it took to convince your mom to even date me? It's going to take even more convincing to get her to marry me," I said, giving them both a look. "Let alone have a baby."

"We have faith in your ability to convince her," Liam said. "You convinced her to keep acting when she was going to give it up to stay home with us even though we told her she didn't have to."

"Chris helped with that one," I admitted. "That wasn't just me alone."

"If you say so," Liam said doubtfully. "She didn't mention him when she told us about who she was going to be filming with next. Kellan's really cool, by the way. He's like a regular guy that just happens to be famous."

"He is pretty cool. When did you meet him?" I knew Sadie had met with him in town after she'd read that script, but I didn't remember her saying the boys had met him.

"A while ago – I think you were somewhere in Europe or something. It was when Scarlett and Rose were visiting. Anyways, he called Mom and said he wanted to meet up with her before they started filming. He was on his way home to see some family in North Dakota, so we're kind of on his way."

"I asked him if he was really a vampire," Isaac said, not looking up from his video game. "He's not."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me, Isaac," I snorted. The kid definitely marched to his own beat. "Were you disappointed that he wasn't?"

"Yeah. Vampires are cool!"

 

* * 

"I'm glad you're both going to be with me today," I said as we pulled up in front of the courthouse. 

I couldn't wait to be done with all of this, but I was grateful that my friends and the Marvel cast had been so supportive this past month and a half. 

Chris opened the door and stepped out, holding out a hand to Sadie. I got out last, and closed the car door behind me, moving over next to them. The paparazzi were having a field day, cameras going off in our faces as we escorted Sadie up the steps. The security guards on duty let us pass, keeping the rabble from following us inside.

"I wouldn't miss it. I can't wait to rub it in that bitch's face again that you're mine," she said so only we could hear her with a remarkably serene expression on her face.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side, Sadie," Chris said with a grin. He looked over at me and held the door for us, following me in and slinging an arm around my shoulders, lowering his voice so we could have a mostly private conversation. "I'm still glad you pressed charges for everything. I know it wasn't an easy decision to make."

"I don't know why she didn't just accept a plea bargain," Sadie said, taking my arm now that we were inside. "What does she hope to accomplish with all of this?"

"Because I think she wants to try and ruin my life; that's all I can guess she wants now."

"Still doesn't make sense, Sebastian. You didn't do anything wrong," Sadie mused. 

"It could have happened to any of us – she was just overly fixated on having you, Seb," Chris said loyally. This whole thing had freaked him out more than a little bit - his fans were generally a little crazier than mine.

"No thanks to her fixation, my life – and yours as well, Sadie – has been put under the public microscope." 

"Kind of already was," she said with a grin. "You're famous, Sebastian – have you forgotten?"

"Is that why we can't go anywhere without people noticing?" I said, finally cracking a smile. 

The knot in my stomach started to loosen as she bantered with me, knowing that was just what I needed right now. There was no way I could love her any more than I already did; I thanked God again for bringing her into my life when He did.

Her smile turned wry. "I knew from the beginning what would happen if I continued to associate with you...and Chris," she said as she nudged him with her shoulder. "Why did you think I tried so hard to keep you from being interested in me? You'd think being on a school trip with a 15 year old would do it, but nooooo."

"If anything, Liam sold me on you even more," I said, looking over at her. "Did I ever tell you he gave me 'the talk' that day?"

"He didn't!" she groaned as we walked into the almost empty courtroom.

"He did. And then I had to literally drag you over to meet Chris," I reminisced, smiling as I thought about the day I met her.

"Yeah, what was up with that?" Chris said, poking Sadie in the side. "I didn't know I was such a scary guy."

"I might have been a little starstruck at the time, but now I know you're a giant teddy bear, Chris. And it was only for a couple feet when I was giving you a hug, Sebastian. Most people stop when someone hugs them, but not you." I shrugged, making her roll her eyes at me. It wasn't like I'd meant to drag her.

"And then we gave you a panic attack," Chris pointed out. "Sorry again, doll."

"You've given me many of those – and not all of them unintentionally," Sadie said, glaring at Chris.

"That was the first one – we thought we should make it up to you," he grinned, taking a seat in the front row right behind where I would be sitting. We were here early to meet up with my legal team, but it looked like they weren't here yet.

"I'm seeing a pattern here," Sadie said, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger absently. "Do you have some salt and Dean Winchester's phone number? I think I could use his help."

"Like hell I'm letting you near Ackles!" I said with a snort. "I've seen how you drool over him when you're binge watching Supernatural."

"I can appreciate a handsome man just as well as the next girl. Be happy I'm done with Vampire Diaries and The Originals," she said, kissing my cheek. "Why, you think you got something to be worried about?" She squeezed my arm lightly. "Pretty sure you got both Ian and Jensen beat in the muscle department, Sebastian."

"What does that make me?" Chris said, flexing his biceps for her and seriously straining the fabric of his suit. "Chopped liver?"

"If you pop the seams again on your jacket I won't fix it for you," Sadie said, sitting down next to Chris and poking at him. "You know better."

"You really like the damaged bad boys, don't you?" I said giving her a crooked grin.

"Well, Bucky, considering how that's worked out so far, I really can't complain, can I?" she smiled widely at me and I shook my head, counting my blessings yet again.

 

* * *

Sadie's POV

"Your honor, the defense calls Mrs Sadie Wilson to the stand," Macy's lawyer said, giving me a contemptuous look.

I took a breath and stood up, walking past the little gate to get sworn in, ready to get this all over with and get our lives back.

"How would you describe your relationship with Mr Stan as of the date this incident happened?" he lead off with.

"We're coworkers and good friends," I said truthfully. We didn't start dating officially until after that.

"Mrs Wilson, can you explain why if you were 'just friends' would you be staying at Mr Stan's apartment? Surely a successful actress such as yourself can afford a hotel room."

"I am required to come to New York for short periods of time for work," I replied, sticking to the basics like Sebastian's lawyer had said. "Sometimes it's only for a day, sometimes it's for two weeks. I don't feel safe staying by myself after the last fan incident, so Mr Stan, along with Mr Evans and some of my other coworkers, graciously offered to let me stay in a spare room at their homes with them when I'm in town, which I greatly appreciate."

I could tell that wasn't exactly the answer he'd anticipated. "Do You usually stay with Mr Stan when you're in New York?"

"About a third of the time, yes."

"Why is that?"

"We frequently have the same filming schedule. The characters we play interact a lot."

"Mrs Wilson, can you tell me what happened on the date of the alleged incident, starting from when you arrived at Mr Stan's apartment."

I went through every little detail from the moment I reached the apartment until the time I left. He had several trivial questions for me, which I answered evenly before he gave me over to Sebastian's lawyers. Under their skilled questioning, I painted a word picture of a drugged, barely functioning man unsure of what was going on and unaware of what he was doing.

Macy's lawyers proceeded to do their best to attempt to shred my reputation and call my character into question, but that ended up backfiring on them. I'd never been more glad that I'd insisted that we not be seen as together in public as a couple until just recently. 

They had nothing to go off of because even the tabloids – who were always making something out of nothing - had only seen us as just close friends and coworkers until they ran the picture we'd posted the night of the premiere when we'd made our relationship official. 

By now, we were accepted as a normal, respectable couple. Since meeting me almost a year ago, Sebastian had stopped partying obsessively and was regularly seen out with friends at a variety of different events and venues. 

Chris took the stand after me, telling what happened after I left. He'd arrived less than 10 minutes after I left, so there wasn't much in between that was unaccounted for in Sebastian's memory. His account was even more damning as more details that he hadn't originally mentioned came out. 

I was thankful we had been there that night, as hard as it had been on both of us, because otherwise Sebastian would've never known what happened that night. If it would've been Sebastian's vague recollections against Macy's lies, I wasn't sure he would've had enough of a case against her. 

Finally Macy was called to the stand and under Sebastian's lawyer's brilliant cross examination, Macy admitted that she'd drugged him with the intention of having sex to get pregnant, therefore securing a permanent place in Sebastian's life forever, physically and financially. Thankfully, she didn't become pregnant - news I'd never been happier to hear.

A search warrant issued the day after the assault had turned up several drafts of an extortion letter on her computer, several anonymous social media accounts that she used to track Sebastian's constant whereabouts, stolen narcotics, and enough Rohyphenol to put her away for a long time for possession of that alone. 

The verdict came back as guilty on all counts after a very short deliberation. Macy was going to be behind bars for a very long time and hopefully out of Sebastian's life forever.


	22. 22

Sebastian's POV

We landed in South Dakota right on time the next morning. It didn't take very long to get our bags and get to Sadie's Tahoe. The boys had dropped it off for her on their way to school this morning since our flight got in at 10 am. 

"We need to get groceries before we head to the house," Sadie said, pulling in to the parking lot of the grocery store. "Katie said the boys went through just about everything again. Darn starving teenagers."

"She going to be there when we get there?" I asked as we got out. Sadie shook her head, knowing I was really asking if Gracie was going to be there too.

"No, she left to go home yesterday afternoon. She only comes for a day or two now that the boys are older."

"They said they didn't need a babysitter anymore?" I asked, mildly surprised that she'd allowed that for as protective of them as she was.

"Something like that. They've asked for for a little more independence and I said we'd give it a try, but they still need an adult to sign things for them for school and stuff. What should we make for supper tonight?"

"Steak?" I asked hopefully as we passed the meat case. I had learned to like a well cooked steak since meeting Sadie, even going so far as to like it a little pink in the middle yet - and without steak sauce. 

Sadie snorted but waved to one of the meat guys she knew well, throwing me an amused glance. "As long as you run the grill, sure. I know the boys won't complain."

It was nice to be back here again, even if I did have to bite my tongue when some of the guys she knew attempted to flirt with her. She bantered with them but didn't encourage them, which made me feel a little better. I liked how things didn't seem so hectic here even when it was busy. We got a full cart's worth of groceries – including some snacks, which I knew wouldn't be in the house otherwise. Sadie only rolled her eyes when we went through the cookie aisle and pretended she didn't see me throwing in a half dozen different packages of cookies.

I put on a pot of coffee when we got home and helped put away the groceries before watching Sadie doing some of her housework, mostly catching up on my correspondence and staying out of her way while she did some odds and ends and ran a couple loads of laundry. 

I felt like a completely different person now that the trial was over. It was like a huge weight was lifted off me and I could finally breathe again. Catching her by the waist as she bustled by, I pulled her into my arms and leisurely kissed her.

"You're working too hard, Sadie. Sit down and have a cup of coffee with me for a little bit."

"You want me to take a coffee break?" she laughed, putting her arms around my neck. 

"Sure. Why not?"

"I can think of a hundred things I need to get done yet."

"I'll help you."

"Thanks, but no thanks. The last time I let you 'help' I think I spent twice as long-"

I stopped her from talking by kissing her thoroughly. "You talk too much, doll."

 

I covered her lips with my own and ran my hands up and down her back, pulling her closer to me and deepening the kiss, not pulling back until we both were breathless. Sadie took my hand and pulled me to the bedroom, locking the door behind us before reaching for me again. 

"We might as well enjoy not having to be anywhere for a while – and the boys won't be home for a couple hours yet."

"Good," I murmured, taking her in my arms again.

 

She started kissing down my jaw to my neck, sliding one hand down my arm to my belly and slipping it under my shirt, the other hand in my hair. I slowly ran my hands down the curve of her spine, working both of my hands under her camisole and sliding it up her torso. She pushed me back slowly until I reached the bed, kissing me deeply as she worked my shirt up. I pulled it off, tossing it aside before kissing her neck and shoulders, sliding the thin strap aside before moving to the other side of her neck, sucking lightly on her collar bone. Moving the other strap aside, she shivered as I found that sensitive spot that drove her wild, licking and kissing it before rubbing her with my scruff. 

"Color?" I asked her, indicating I wanted to remove her shirt. We'd decided to keep using the color words for now until we were on firmer ground with each other. I cared too much for her to allow myself to get carried away; she was more than worth the wait.

"Green," she said after a moment, struggling with getting her brain working again. I sat back on the bed, pulling her onto my lap so she was straddling me.

I had her shirt off quickly and my hands moved to cup her full, firm breasts. Her head fell back with a moan as I lavished them with attention for the first time in over a year. How I'd managed to hold off for this long from touching her like this was still a mystery to me. She speared my hair with one hand, her breathing quickly becoming ragged as pleasure washed over her, causing her to undulate against me. Her obvious enjoyment only turned me on that much more and I had to stop her from moving before I completely lost control of myself. 

I laid her back on the bed, my weight pressing her into the bed. I went up on my forearms, taking most of my weight off her. She was so much lighter than me I knew she wouldn't be comfortable with me laying on her for long. I kissed my way down her torso, stroking her soft skin firmly with my hands, paying extra attention to the faded stretch marks on her belly that she was embarrassed about – evidence that she had carried life within her – and I could only hope she was open to the possibility of carrying my child. I wanted to have children with her; I'd never wanted it more than I did right now. 

I felt her sudden intake of breath when I slid my fingers under the stretchy waistband of her yoga pants and her hand on my shoulder pulling me back up to her lips, letting me know I'd gone far enough for now. I wanted her so badly my cock was throbbing as I worked my way back up her body. Her eyes were dark with desire and the way she kissed me let me know she was barely hanging on to control as well.

"I want this, Sebastian," she gasped, pulling away from me for a second to meet my eyes. "But it's been a really long time for me." 

"Are you sure, Sadie? Because I'm going to be taking my time with you – I'm only just getting started with here."

She rolled her hips against mine in response, rubbing herself firmly against my straining erection. If she did that much more I knew I wouldn't last long at all.

"I need you," she said, kissing me deeply as she wrapped her legs around me and undulated again. "I need this - please, Sebastian."

"Color, Sadie," I said, as I groaned against her lips, reaching for her waistband again. "I need to hear you tell me a color." Breaking the kiss to look at her, I forced myself to take a breath and meet her eyes.

"Green," she whispered, stroking my face. "You?"

"Green. If you change your mind you need to let me know right away, Sadie."

"I won't change my mind. I've wanted you for a long time, Sebastian - I just didn't feel ready until now." 

"The feeling is mutual," I said with a grin and I proceeded to finish stripping her, slowly enjoying exploring every inch of her beautiful body with my hands and mouth, letting her do the same to me. I didn't stop until she was screaming my name as she crested, bringing me over the edge as well.

"I love you," I whispered as I collapsed onto her, completely spent.

"Me, too." I thought I heard her say so quietly that I wasn't even sure I'd really heard it.

A smile curved across my lips as I knew what she meant, even if she couldn't say the words yet. It was a huge step for her, and I knew it. She tapped me, indicating she wanted my weight off of her and I kissed her cheek in response, claiming her lips once more before rolling off her, letting her drop her head onto my shoulder and closing my eyes again as I pulled her close to me. She had definitely been worth the wait - that had been incredible.

 

* * *

Sadie's POV 

Time had flown by and before I knew it, a year had passed since Justin's death. I thought I was going to be able to do this on my own, but when Sebastian had found me sitting in the car, unable to see for how hard I'd been crying, he'd only said, "Scoot over, Sadie. I'm not letting you drive. I know you want to do this, but you don't have to do this alone, doll."

I'd moved over slightly, just enough for Sebastian to get in. He'd given me a hug, not saying anything, just holding me. He understood that this was just something I had to work though. Eventually he'd started the car and backed out of the garage, putting one arm around me and letting me lean on him as he drove, taking comfort from his solid presence.

I changed the presets in my truck so those old songs don't sneak up, but they still find me and remind me – yeah you come back that easy. A familiar sad country song had come on the radio as we drove and I'd changed stations abruptly to a pop station, unable to hear that song today because it struck home with me even more than it always did. 

When we got there, Sebastian walked me over to the small patch of soil, his arm lightly around me in wordless support. There was now a marble slab set up next to it with an etched black and white photo and a couple of lines: Justin James Wilson. 6-23-81 to 8-5-17, Beloved Son, Husband and Father. 

I've talked to friends, talked to myself; I've talked to God, and I've prayed liked hell – but I still miss you. 

My throat was so tight I couldn't bring myself to say the words out loud, so I said them in my mind, sinking down to my knees as the rest of that song played in my mind, the lyrics fitting for what I was feeling right now. Tears were rolling down my face as I gasped for breath, my whole body aching. 

I've tried sober, I've tried drinking, I've been strong and I've been weak and I still miss you. 

18 years with him next to me had left me utterly unprepared for a life without him, but I'd managed to make it through this first year somehow. It had taken a while, but I'd managed to get myself back on track. I was finally sleeping even when Sebastian wasn't with me and I was back to a healthy relationship with food, having regained about half of what I'd lost initially in the first two months after the accident.

I've done everything to move on like I'm supposed to; I still miss you. 

Justin and I had talked about this once, right after we were first married, about what we wanted the other to do if one of us died and we'd both said we wanted the other to move on. We'd had that conversation again after I'd been shot in Germany, when we'd updated our wills. I knew Justin wouldn't want me to be by myself but honestly, it was still hard to move on. 

I never knew until you were gone how many pages you were on in my life – it never ends. 

I'd be learning line after line for my parts and there he'd be again – laughing at me for whatever it is I'm supposed to be saying – teasing Sebastian that he's trying to steal me from him when we'd run through our lines over FaceTime. Once after Justin had met Chris and Sebastian, and he had a few drinks in him, he'd said that he was happy I'd chosen to come home to him; that was the only time he ever said anything about my relationship with Sebastian. 

I don't know how to let you go; you're so deep down in my soul that I feel helpless, so hopeless. It's a door that never closes. No, I don't know how to do this. 

I didn't know how to let him go, but it was time for me to move on and start living my life again. Sebastian had made it clear from the beginning that I set the pace for our relationship, and we'd taken things slowly – as hard as it was at times, it was one of the best things for us to do; we'd had to learn how to be friends first instead of jumping into a relationship that wouldn't have worked back then. 

Wiping the tears from my face, I stood back up and said my goodbyes. I took the two steps back to Sebastian and put my arms around his torso, just holding onto him for a minute. His hands moved slowly up and down my back, rubbing soothingly. 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

I knew today was going to be hard for Sadie, but I didn't realize how hard it was on her until I found her in the car crying so hard she couldn't even see to drive – not that I thought she should be driving in her condition. I got her to move over and settled myself behind the wheel, one arm around her and her head tucked into my shoulder. 

I'd known Sadie for about a year and a half now and loved her since the day I'd met her. We'd had good days and bad, and it killed me to see how bad she was hurting today, but I couldn't help her with this. This was something she had to do herself.

I walked her to his grave and let her grieve in peace. She'd come a long way in the past year; mentally, she was finally in a better place. I'd noticed right away when she'd lost weight and mentioned it to Chris, who'd taken a hard look at her and said he'd take care of it. He could say things to her that I couldn't simply because of their close friendship.

Justin had been my friend, too. I'd spent a fair amount of time in South Dakota since meeting Sadie and Chris and I would stop in for a week here and there when we didn't have anything going on and weren't filming. Justin and I'd had many discussions about life either in his boat or at the end of his dock over a couple beers and fishing poles. It was easy to see why Sadie loved him – he was a good man and good father to his sons.

After a long time, Sadie finally stood back up and walked over to me, sliding her arms around me and holding me tight, listening to my heartbeat. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her wild hair, just feeling her in my arms.

I walked her back to the car. "You okay now?"

"Yeah," she said with a small nod, getting in the car. "I will be." I shut the door behind her and paused. There was something that I needed to say.

"I'll be right back," I said, turning and going back over to the grave. It felt a little silly to be talking to a rock, but I needed to say this out loud for him to hear. 

"I know this isn't how things were supposed to turn out, buddy; I miss hanging out with you on the dock, talking about everything under the sun." I cleared my throat and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "I just wanted to let you know that you were right – Sadie is one in a million – and I love her. I think you always knew that, though." I blew out a deep breath and had to blink rapidly to keep from crying myself. "I plan on taking care of Sadie and the boys, Justin. You did a good job raising them – they're turning into fine young men and I know you're looking out for them wherever you are." I paused for a moment, looking up at the clear blue sky, feeling the hot wind on my face - a perfect summer day. "I'm not trying to replace you, I'm just picking up where you left off. There's a difference, you know. Goodbye, Justin - I hope the fish are biting where you are now." 

I turned to go back to the car, seeing Sadie leaning on the open window with a small smile on her face and I knew she'd heard everything I'd said. I climbed in and she scooted over so she was in the same position as before, my arm around her. 

"Let's go home," she said, kissing my cheek in thanks and twining her fingers with mine.

"Sure thing, doll," I replied, gently kissing her forehead. I turned the key and pulled out of the cemetery, taking the long way home. Sadie fell asleep before we made it home, emotionally exhausted from the visit. 

I found myself thinking that somewhere along the way, the lake house really had become our home - maybe even more so than our apartment in New York. This was always going to be home for the boys, and that's the way it should be. Sadie didn't mind going to the city occasionally, but she still spent a majority of her time here and I did as well when I didn't have any other commitments. It was peaceful, not being surrounded by people all the time - something I never thought I'd admit to myself.

I pulled into the garage and turned off the car. I looked down at her peaceful tearstained face, trying to decide if I was going to wake her or not. I decided against it; we didn't have anywhere we needed to be today and the boys were both at practice for a while longer. I made myself comfortable and closed my eyes, just holding on to her and thinking about how much this one woman had changed my life for the better.

* *

I must have fallen asleep too because I woke up to Sadie playing with my hair. I'd had to let it grow back out again for my role as Bucky in the upcoming Marvel film we were due to start filming in less than two months.

"What'cha thinking, doll?" I asked, meeting her beautiful brown eyes and pulling her onto my lap.

She quirked her lips. "That you need to shave, Sebastian. You're pretty scruffy again."

I shook my head and laughed. "No can do, doll. I need a solid beard again for a while. Russo's orders. You can call Joe and Anthony to ask them if you want."

She huffed out a sigh. "Chris too?"

"Not this time. Only one of us is giving you beard burn for a while," I teased. I knew she'd stay with Chris like she usually did when I had to be gone. I leaned forward to rub her shoulder with my scruff.

She pushed my face away, making a disgruntled face at me. "It's a good thing you're cute because I really hate beard burn."

I tickled her, kissing her nose to make her scrunch it. "Cute? What am I – a fluffy bunny?"

She gave me a peck on the lips. "Didn't want to give you a bigger head, babe. You might not fit through the door otherwise."

I laughed at her, raising an eyebrow. "Says one of the top ten sexiest women in the world. Didn't take you long to crack that list. That's like three or four years in a row for Scarlett now."

"I can't believe they put me on it – I didn't want any part of that list – and I told Maxim no again, if you're wondering."

A satisfied smile curved my lips. "Good. The only guy who gets to see you naked is me. When are the photographers coming for the Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot?"

"Next week. You're going to be here, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it. What did the boys say when you told them you wanted their rooms spotless?"

"There was a lot of muttering, but they said they'd have them clean before then. Did they say anything to you?"

"Yes, but I explained why they were coming and after that they settled down."

"Did you bribe them?" she asked astutely, studying my face. I knew better than to lie – she always knew when I did anyways.

"Maybe. The Russo's said they can come visit the set over Christmas break if that was okay with you."

"They just want me to be around for longer," Sadie said, climbing off me and out of the car.

I got out as well, standing up and stretching. "Of course. I want you around for longer. I miss you when you're not on set with us – and everyone else does too. Are you excited to film a non-Marvel movie with Chris?"

After a lot of deliberation and a long conversation with Chris and I, she'd agreed to read for that other script we'd given her a while back. It was going to be a little challenging for the both of them - they were going to be playing a Nicholas Sparks or John Green kind of couple - but the storyline was great. There was a lot of buzz about it already and there a high probability that this movie would earn a lot awards.

"I'm not excited to be away from the boys for a month, but I am, actually. I really like the plot of this one."

"Me too - I can't wait to see it, doll. Ready to go inside?" I asked, opening the house door for her.

"Yeah, I swear this garage always stinks like fish in the summer."

"Speaking of fish, can we fry some for supper?" Because of our nap we'd missed lunch, so by supper time I was going to be starving.

"Sure, if you and the boys are doing the frying. Katie made some more coating the last time she was here and put it in the fridge, so I'll set some out to thaw – I think I still have at least a year's supply of fish in that freezer yet."

I raised my hands in denial. "Don't look at me – I never catch anything. It's all your sons' doing."

"I think you just put a hook in the water so you can sit there and think in peace."

"What's wrong with that? I think that's why a majority of men fish in the first place - hiding from their women and drinking beer."


	23. 23

Sadie's POV

I sat on the end of the dock, staring out at the water. The boys had gotten home a little bit ago and had been in such a good mood I didn't want to spoil it with my mood, so I'd grabbed my sunglasses and come out here to just think about things. 

I was so deep in thought I didn't notice anyone coming out on the dock until a familiar scent reached me and I turned my head to see Chris standing right behind me. I jumped up and threw my arms around his torso, burying my face in his broad chest. He held me tight, his arms squeezing me just enough to let me know he understood but not enough to make it harder to breathe than it already was. I struggled to not cry – I'd cried so many times already today.

"If that's the kind of welcome I get after not seeing you for a while, I should leave more often." His hand stroked my back lightly after he loosened his grip. He sat down, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me.

"I missed you. I thought you were in Seoul for another week yet." I peeked up at his face, seeing the concern in his blue eyes and a wry grin on his lips.

"Surprise?" 

"You planned this," I said, searching his eyes.

"Of course we did," he scoffed. "You thought I forgot what day it was?"

I shook my head slightly. "No, but I didn't expect you to come all the way out here, either."

"How are you holding up?" He reached up to stroke my face lightly, eyes holding mine. "And no bullshitting me, Sadie."

I felt my lips quiver and pressed them tightly together to keep them from shaking, ducking my head back into the crook of his neck. 

"It's okay, doll," he murmured, kissing my temple and rubbing my back, just letting me cry on him yet again. "Let it all out – I've got you." 

When I finally ran out of tears, Chris used his large fingers to wipe my cheeks, looking down at me sadly. I could tell he'd been crying as well, his cheeks were still damp. I reached up and dried them with the pad of my thumb, making him smile slightly.

"I stopped there on my way here, Sadie. Said a few things I needed to say and left him a six pack."

"Diesel?" I asked hoarsely, clearing my throat.

His lips quirked at the nickname for Justin's brand of beer. "You know it. Seb said he took you earlier today."

I nodded, unable to speak. He seemed to understand that and we just looked out at the water for a long time until I started to get cold even with his warmth surrounding me.

"Ready to go back up?" I asked, moving off of his lap so he could stand up.

"Yeah. I hear we're frying fish for supper," he said, stretching and putting his arm around me as we made our way back up the hill. "Can we make s'mores too?"

I couldn't help but smile knowing I probably was going to need to bake tomorrow. I always kept cookies in the freezer, but Chris had such a sweet tooth that he usually polished them off within a day. I wasn't sure who was more excited when he came to visit - him or the boys. 

"Of course. Isaac made sure to tell me we had everything for them at least five times. We better go supervise before they set something on fire - again."

Chris laughed, obviously remembering the last time quite well. He reached for his pec, making me giggle, his laugh was just so infectious. It felt so good to be happy again - at least for a while. I was going to spend time with my favorite guys and make myself a margarita. No more tears - it was time to relax and just enjoy a perfect summer evening at the lake with my best friends and family.

 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

By the time 10 o'clock rolled around, both boys were more than ready for bed, struggling to keep their eyes open as we sat around the fire and talked, catching up with Chris. 

"Time for bed boys. Chris will be here for a couple days yet," I said, knowing that was a big reason why they were trying to stay up. They loved having him here - he was the fun uncle that let them get away with just about anything...most of the time.

"But Seb," they whined, putting up a token protest.

"Move it boys or Chris and I'll wake you up to do our workout before you both have to go to practice."

That got them moving. "We're going. Your workouts suck," Liam said, having tried to do them a couple times and ending up exhausted each time. "Night guys. Night Mom."

"I'm not a glutton for punishment," Isaac chimed in, stifling a yawn. "See you in the morning."

He hugged us both on his way in, leaving his mom for last. Sadie stood up and put her arm around him giving him a kiss on the cheek before sending him in. He was bigger than she was, so it was always amusing to see her momming them like they were still little boys. 

Sadie only smiled, watching me handle things as she talked on the phone again. She'd been on the phone most of the day with various relative calling just to chat and remind her about upcoming events. Her sisters had conference called a little bit ago, so she was busy talking to them now. I didn't really want to leave her alone, but she looked like she'd be okay for now. It was after the calls were over she'd be upset again. 

"Way to not give in, Seb. You practicing up for when you have one of your own?" Chris asked as he gave me a hand cleaning things up outside. I'd taken care of the oil a while ago, now it was just dishes and finishing putting leftovers away.

"I wouldn't mind one, but I haven't exactly talked to Sadie about it yet. The boys have been pestering her every time their little cousins are here or we go to see Katie, but she hasn't changed her answer to them yet."

He looked askance at me. "They go to a Catholic school. You really think she's gonna tell them she wants to live in sin with you? Marriage before kids, Seb. That's the way they're taught."

Well, when he put it that way, it made sense. "I'd ask her to marry me in a heartbeat if I thought she'd accept. It isn't the right time yet, though."

"No, it's not," he agreed, putting a couple dishes in the fridge. "You want to go to her or do you want me to? She's losing it again."

"You go, pal," I decided instantly. She needed a friend more than a lover right now. "Thanks for coming today." I pulled him into a tight hug, the kind that always made us both feel better. He let go first, clapping me on my back before heading to the patio.

"Anytime, buddy. You know I'm always here for you both – and she's one of my best friends too."

"I know," I said quietly, turning back to loading the dishwasher so it could run overnight. I also know he'd never admit that he was in love with her, too; he just loved her in a different way than I did.

I finished cleaning up the kitchen and went to get my shower in before the boys used all the hot water. I put on a soft t-shirt and a pair of shorts before going back out to coax Sadie in the house. Chris had gotten her as far as the living room, so I took over for him so he could shower. I pulled her onto my lap and handed her a blanket to curl up with. I stroked her face gently, wiping the fresh tears away.

"Hey doll. I didn't think you had any of these left – or is this the tequila?"

"Me either," she hiccuped, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm buzzing, not drunk."

"Good, because drunk you is a little wild," I said, remembering several times I'd been with her when she'd decided to get drunk.

"Drunk me is more fun. I really thought I was going to make it the rest of the day without turning into a watering pot again," she said with a sigh.

"Almost did. Did your sisters say something to upset you?"

"No. They were telling me good news. Maddy's pregnant again and so are two of my younger cousins."

"That's good. I figured that would be the case after Katie had Ashley. Gives them a cousin playmate their own age." I don't know what I said that was so wrong, but that set her off again. "Sadie, honey. What's wrong?"

It took her a while to be able to speak coherently, but I rubbed her back slowly and kissed her face, working down to her lips. She responded with more enthusiasm than I anticipated, leaving me even more confused. 

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" I asked as I pulled back.

"Everyone's having babies," she said after a long pause, hiding her face from me. I suddenly knew where she was going with this. Between Katie and the boys hinting, I knew she'd given it thought, but right now she wasn't thinking about the future, she was living in the moment.

"Doll, you know I'd love nothing more than to have a baby with you – when you're ready."

"You really do want kids?" she asked, searching my eyes. "I know you've made comments to that effect every now and again, but we've never talked about anything like that, Sebastian."

"Only with you," I said, kissing her gently. "Liam and Isaac are great, but they're not mine, Sadie. They're already teenagers, so there's not a lot I can do to help you out there."

"Oh," she said quietly. 

"How about we talk about this again when you get back in a couple weeks?"

"I'm not going to change my mind and I'm not exactly getting any younger here."

"That's not what I said. You're going to be on set for almost a whole month and then we jump into filming for the next Marvel film. I don't know how your previous pregnancies went, but it's a pretty demanding schedule for you to begin with and a lot of stunt work."

"You've put some thought into this," she said, sitting up and giving me a smile. "What else have you been thinking about?"

I brought her left hand to my lips and kissed her bare ring finger before lacing my fingers with hers. Her eyes widened slightly, enough to show me that I'd surprised her. Chris came out into the living room then to check on Sadie and was pleased to see she wasn't crying anymore.

"Why don't you get showered, doll," I said with a smile. "I'm going to make sure the fire's out before we go to bed."

She slid off my lap and stood up, giving me a look before padding down the hallway to the bathroom.

"Did you know that's what she was upset about?" I asked Chris when I was sure she couldn't hear me.

"No, but it makes sense. I'm sure her family thought they'd be cheering her up by telling her about all the babies coming soon. They'd have no reason to think she'd want another kid since hers are almost out of the house."

"I think she's wanted one for a while," I said slowly.

"But Justin didn't – he even went and got himself snipped a few years ago to make sure there wouldn't be any more," Chris said, shrugging. "The subject came up one night when we'd had too much to drink."

"You're sleeping with us tonight, just so you know," I said before walking out to dump water on the fire to make sure it was out. It'd been a while since all three of us had slept together, but after the conversation we'd just had, I'd determined it would be better for Sadie to have both of us next to her to keep her from getting her way.


	24. 24

Sadie's POV

I knew what Sebastian was thinking the moment I saw them both in our bed and mentally sighed. I knew he wouldn't believe anything I said right now about knowing what I wanted, so I just hit the lights and crawled over Chris to get into bed before Sebastian noticed what I was wearing and made me change. 

Chris put his arm around me like he normally did, pulling me tight to his firm body. His fingers stroked my belly for a moment when he felt how soft the fabric was before going abruptly still. The silky nightie I was wearing wasn't what I normally wore when I slept with Chris and I felt him exhale deeply, his warm breath tickling my bare shoulder. I reached out a hand to Sebastian and linked fingers with him, his hand warm around my cold one.

"Night," I said, tucking my cold feet onto Chris' furry calves and making him jump.

"Geez! It's summer, woman. Why are you always freezing?" Chris griped as he rubbed his scruff into my back in retaliation and gave me beard burn. I tried to arch my back away from him, but I couldn't go far with his arm so firmly around my ribcage. He shuddered slightly as I wriggled against him, Sebastian just laughing at our scuffle. 

"I'm cold blooded; maybe I need to live someplace warm, like Arizona or Texas."

"How about California?" Chris said, his voice a little rougher than usual. "We'll be there next week. Maybe you won't be an icicle there."

Sebastian only laughed harder. "Even in Atlanta you said she was an icicle, buddy. Good luck with that." He rolled closer, resting a hand on my hip and feeling the silky fabric covering it. "Sadie, what color pajamas are you wearing?" he asked suspiciously, running his hand down my leg.

"Blue. Like my cold blood," a smirk curved my lips, knowing he'd put two and two together. I heard him suck in a quick breath, confirming my opinion. This blue nightie was one of his favorites because of how soft and sheer it was. 

"Knock it off and go to sleep, Sadie – and tell Chris you're sorry," Sebastian said, bringing his hand up to pat my face, tapping me on the nose when I nipped at his fingers.

"But I'm not sorry," I said, trying to turn but a hard arm wouldn't let me move, Chris already having had enough of me deliberately torturing him.

"You will be in the morning. That's the tequila talking, doll," Chris sighed, kissing my shoulder. "Good night, Sadie."

I gave up attempting to move and closed my eyes, exhaustion hitting me faster than I thought.

* * 

I woke up before either of the guys did and wriggled my way out of Chris' firm grasp so I could use the bathroom. I climbed back into bed, having determined I wasn't ready to be up for the day yet. Chris opened his eyes as I settled myself back in his arms, tightening them around me so I wouldn't ignore him.

"What did you think you were up to last night?" he asked quietly, his blue eyes holding mine in the predawn light.

"I had a plan; and it was a good plan too, although my brain apparently doesn't agree with that this morning."

"Sure, doll. Keep telling yourself that," he snorted. "Is that the reason you decided to wear this to bed?" he pushed a strap that had slithered down my arm back up where it belonged and raised an eyebrow.

"Or it's my favorite nightie...Steve. I thought you'd removed the stick from your ass already?"

"Sadie," he said warningly, knowing I was lying. "Seb's read the script, right?"

"He read it through before he had my agent give it to me. If there's someone else you'd rather do this with, just let me know and I'll bow out, Chris," I said, reaching up to stroke his stubbled face. "No questions asked."

"It needs to be you, Sadie."

"You're sure?" I rolled up on one elbow to look at him, making sure he knew it wasn't an idle question.

"I've thought long and hard about this and I'm sure on that."

"Will this change things?" I made a gesture indicating the three of us. "Because I don't want that to happen."

"No, never," he said, pulling me close, and resting me on his chest. "That's work. What happens on the set stays on the set."

"What did Scarlett say about it to you? Or hasn't she read it?" 

I wanted to know what Chris thought Scarlett had said to him about it. I'd already talked to her about it before I agreed to even do a preliminary reading, once I knew Chris was going to be involved. It's not nice to step on your girl friends' toes and Scarlett was one of my best friends. I also knew why they were on a hiatus from her point of view.

"She read the script when I first decided to do it almost 2 years ago, but then it was put on the back burner when my Marvel commitments started and the studio couldn't find the right female lead. I guess we were just waiting to find you, Sadie."

"Why not Scarlett? She could easily have done this - it's a little outside her normal choice of film, but still."

"She's got enough irons in the fire," he said slowly.

"She thought this would reveal your true relationship, didn't she?" 

Scarlett and Chris had the kind of charisma together that couldn't be feigned - the kind a director always hoped to find when they cast two leads. They'd tried to play it down in Winter Soldier and it still caught everyone's attention, lending fuel to the Romanogers / Captasha ships. 

When he didn't answer, I poked him in the chest. "How is doing this movie with me going to be any better?"

"I don't know. I don't have an answer for that other than we're going to have to act the hell out of it."

"How about a threesome?" I teased, almost positive he'd turn me down on that one.

"You get Seb on board with that one first and we'll talk," he said to my surprise. 

I looked at him suspiciously, narrowing my eyes at him. "Wow, I think my ears quit working. Did I mishear you or did you just agree with me?"

"Oh, I can take it back," he said with a smirk.

"Nope, no takebacks," I grinned.

"We watch way too many Disney movies together, doll."

"That was your own movie, Chris."

"So were you team Cap or team Iron Man?" he asked. "You never have answered that question for me."

"Team Bucky, obviously," I gestured at the sleeping man beside us. "You weren't serious, were you?"

"Nope. You know me better than that."

"I do. Sorry I teased you earlier; it wasn't very nice of me," I said, leaning down and kissing his cheek.

He stroked my face lightly, playing with a loose curl. "No more tequila for you, doll. Makes you loco."

I snorted. "Like you can talk, el Capitan. Pretty sure I've already proved I can hold my tequila better than you."

"Let's not test that theory again and say we did," Chris said, winking.

"That's my line," I complained, pouting for a moment. Chris flicked my lower lip and I nipped at him before saying, "It'll be fun! Have you ever played 'Never Have I Ever'?"

"Why do I think that sounds like a horrible idea?" Sebastian said, rubbing his hand over his face and rolling over to look at us. "And why the hell are you two awake already?"

"It's about time you woke up, sleeping beauty," Chris said, looking over at him. "We were making plans while you were sleeping. Sadie said she wants a threesome." I smacked Chris on the chest, his hands keeping my legs from straddling him so there was no force behind it.

"She sober yet?" he asked, stretching.

"Nope," Chris said, grinning at me as I stifled a laugh at being thrown under the bus so quickly.

"Then ignore her and hand her over. She needs to be spanked for wearing that to bed."

"What's wrong with this?" I asked innocently, shifting so I could see him better. "I thought you liked the blue one, Sebastian?"

I moved my shoulder so my strap fell down again, prompting Chris to roll over and dump me off him - much to my amusement. I brought one leg up and hooked it over Sebastian's hip, pulling myself closer to him and watching his pupils dilate. I kissed him lightly, holding his eyes and rolling my shoulder to drop the other strap, giving him a good look at my cleavage.

"You are going to be the death of me, doll," he said, his voice rough with desire. He inhaled deeply as I rolled my hips against him. "For the record, I do like the blue one - I just don't think poor Chris is appreciating it right now."

"Poor Chris is going to find some breakfast and leave you two be. Just keep it down - I don't want to hear you," Chris said as he got up and went out of the bedroom, grumbling under his breath.

 

* * *

Sadie's POV

It was well after midnight when I finally got home from LA. This was the longest I'd ever been away from home. I don't know how Sebastian did it all the time, but I guess he really only had himself to worry about, so it wasn't quite the same.

I didn't want to wake him yet, so I showered down stairs and wrapped a towel around myself to go up to our bedroom. Sebastian was still fast asleep, so I dropped the towel and crawled into bed with him. I was delighted to discover that he was only sleeping in his boxers. Kissing his full lips leisurely until he woke up enough to pull me into his arms, holding me tight.

"Hey doll. I thought you weren't getting in until tomorrow?"

I kissed him again. "It is tomorrow. We wrapped on time and after an early dinner with Chris I caught the first flight home. I wanted to surprise you."

"You did - I missed you, doll."

"I missed you too, Sebastian," I said, capturing his lips with mine and showing him how much I'd missed him. That was the last thing we said until morning, having a lot of lost time to make up.

I heard Sebastian get up the next morning to make sure the boys got up and got ready for school, but I didn't move from my covers cocoon. If they didn't know I was here, I wasn't going to let them know I was home already and ruin whatever plans they were making. 

I listened to them chattering in the kitchen as they ate breakfast, the smell of coffee telling me that Sebastian was going to be up for the day. The boys nattered happily at Sebastian, making all kinds of plans for when I got home. I had talked to them every day when I was gone, but I knew they missed having me at home.

It was nice to hear Sebastian encouraging them and giving them the kind of advise that can only come from a guy. It made me so happy to hear this again; I hadn't realized how much I'd missed all of this until now. I didn't know how I'd been so lucky to have him in my life, but I didn't plan on ever letting go of him.

I smiled when I heard the door close and the boys' jeep leaving the garage. Sebastian came back into the bedroom with two cups of coffee. I sat up and took one from him, making room for him next to me. 

"Did you really not put on clothes to make breakfast?" I asked as I leaned my head on his bare shoulder.

"Nope. We have a no pajama rule when you're not home – less laundry."

I laughed and took a drink of my coffee. "You at least made them wear underwear, right? Because otherwise they will happily wander the house naked after they shower. I've been attempting to discourage their nudist tendencies for years, Sebastian."

"Of course; this isn't a locker room," he said with a smirk.

"You didn't go downstairs, did you?"

"Nope," he said, taking a drink. "Didn't know I was supposed to."

"Then they didn't wear underwear if you didn't check on them. Now you know for next time, I guess. Liam tell you his goal is to have muscles like yours?"

"Yup. They're both starting a new weight lifting regimen through one of the trainers I've been working with here. They came with me to do my workouts on the weekends."

"They said they've never worked so hard before," I laughed. "Liam said it was worse than two-a-days for football, he was so tired. So what do they have planned for me today?"

"They want to go out to supper. I said that was fine as long as you agreed. I'm sure I can find something on the menu that will fit in my meal plan parameters."

"And what did you have planned for today?" I asked, looking at him over the rim of my cup.

"Absolutely nothing. You?"

"I plan on admiring your muscles a little longer. Did I ever tell you how much I like it when you're in Bucky shape?"

"Maybe once or twice," he said, giving me that Bucky grin before kissing me. "Maybe you should remind me."

I finished my coffee and set it on the night stand, moving behind him to kiss his neck and run my hands over his arms and back while he sipped his coffee, just letting me do whatever I wanted to him for once. I knew when he couldn't hold back any more because he set his cup down firmly and turned into me, taking control of the kiss.

"I love you, Sebastian," I whispered as he kissed down my neck, making him pause in shock. He brought his face up to mine and I'd never seen such happiness on his handsome face before.

"I love you too, Sadie. I didn't think you were ever going to tell me that."

"I've loved you for a long time; I'm just not afraid of losing you anymore. If you were going to leave me, you would have by now."

"I'm never leaving you, doll," Sebastian said in a low, fervent voice. "Never. Sadie Wilson, will you marry me?"

I didn't even hesitate, accepting with alacrity. "Yes, Sebastian. Of course I will." I kissed him passionately, and it was a long time before we came up for air. He let go of me long enough to go find a small velvet box and I held out my hand for him to slide the cool metal onto my finger. It was perfect fit, a simple but elegant three stone ring set in white gold.

"How did you know this is what I wanted?" I asked, looking up to see him staring at me with a smile on his face.

"Katie and Maddy. They said this is what you always looked at when you went to get your rings cleaned with them a while back. I know this isn't the current style, but I thought the meaning behind it was fitting."

"Past, present and future. Yes, it's very fitting." I kissed him again and pulled him back to the bed. "Do I want to know how long you've had this planned?" 

"Probably not," he said, flushing slightly. "I actually had a speech planned and everything for when we go back to Germany in a couple weeks."

"Sorry I ruined your epic proposal. We can still do that if you want - I've never had a formal proposal like that before."

"Then we will - complete with pictures. You ready to break the internet again?"

"Only with you, Sebastian. I love you."

"Me too," he replied, making me laugh. I reached for him to kiss him again, so incredibly happy right now I couldn't stay still.

 

* * *

Sebastian's POV

I walked in the door and kicked off my shoes, searching for Sadie. I found her in the kitchen, staring out the window at the frozen city. She smiled when she saw me and gestured for me to come closer. She put her arms around my neck, leaning up to kiss me welcomingly.

"Do you know what today is?" she asked as I kissed her back. 

"I do. Two years ago today I met you for the first time." I couldn't imagine what life would be like without her anymore -and I hoped that I never had to find out. 

"Who knew four little words would change my life forever?" Sadie said, smiling at me.

"And then you saved my life and my best friend's life." I rubbed her shoulder where there was still a scar from the bullet that had hit her shoulder blade. "In more ways than just that one."

"I have something to tell you, Sebastian."

I kissed the tip of her nose and laughed as she scrunched it and rubbed it on me. "That sounds serious, Sadie."

"It might be," she agreed evenly. She pulled me over to a chair at the island. "Maybe you should sit down."

"I'm fine, doll. What is it?"

She smiled and took my hands in hers, setting them on her belly with her hands over mine - something she'd never done before. "We're going to have to move up the wedding," she said. "I'm pregnant, Sebastian."

"What?" I asked and everything went hazy for a moment. I heard Sadie saying my name and snapping her fingers in front of my face. Finally my senses started working again and I realized I was sitting on the floor. "What am I doing down here?"

"You tell me. One minute you were fine and the next you're quite gracefully sinking to the floor. I probably should have filmed it – oh wait, I did." She pointed at the GoPro sitting on the counter that I hadn't noticed earlier.

"You did what?" I asked, my brain still not working yet.

"Filmed your reaction," she said with a grin. "You aren't going to pass out on me or anything, are you?"

I shook my head, clearing it. "I don't think so. Did you tell me what I thought you told me?"

"Depends on what you think I told you. I said we're going to have to move up the wedding."

"Okay with me. I'd marry you today if you'd go for it, you know that."

"And I said that I'm pregnant."

"That's what I thought you said," I said to myself, for some reason having a hard time wrapping my head around that information.

"What are you thinking, Sebastian?" she asked, pulling me to my feet.

"I think I'm still processing. I'm really going to be a daddy?"

"Yeah, you are," she said with a smile.

I picked her up and set her on the counter before sliding my hand under her shirt and lifting it up so I could see her belly. Sliding my thumbs over it, I could tell it was still flat, so she couldn't be very far along. After I'd proposed, we'd had a long, serious discussion of where our relationship and our careers were going. After a little planning, Sadie had agreed after Thanksgiving that we'd start trying to have a baby. 

"That's great news! I thought it would take a lot longer – it's only January."

"It probably would if I wasn't such a freaking fertile turtle."

"So how long have you known?"

"Not very long - since the ski trip to Big Sky before New Year's. I realized it right away when your toothpaste made me gag. None of my babies have liked minty toothpaste."

"I can't believe we're having a baby." I kissed her again, pulling her off the counter and she wrapped her legs around me as I carried her to our room. "Do the boys know?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. You got to be the first one to know, Sebastian; I thought we could tell them together. I want to wait to tell everyone else after the first trimester. I miscarried when I was pregnant with Isaac. He started out as twins and I lost one and kept Isaac." 

"I never knew that," I said as I set her down on our bed, crawling up beside her. She pushed me back so I was laying down and leaned over to kiss me heatedly. 

"I thought I told you, but maybe I didn't. Just to warn you, my memory is going to be horrible for the next 7 or 8 months. I'm going to have to tell the Russo's soon so they can find a stunt double." I pushed her shirt up, and she took it off so I could see her in the weak winter light. Now that I knew what to look for, I could tell her waist was slightly thicker than before and there was a slight natural curve to her belly. I stroked it lightly, looking up at her in wonder.

"I can't believe this is really happening – we're having a baby! I love you so much, Sadie," I said, kissing her deeply. 

"I love you too, Sebastian," Sadie said, smiling. I thanked God yet again for bringing her into my life just when I had needed her the most.


	25. Epilogue

Sebastian's POV

I woke up in a cold sweat, thinking that was the strangest dream I'd ever had. I ran my hands through my long hair and laid back down, trying to decide if it was a dream or a memory because it sure felt real.

One hand reached out of its own accord, my fingers scrabbling at my nightstand, reaching for my phone before I even realized what I was doing. I found myself desperately checking my contacts and messages for a Sadie - any Sadie - and was incredibly upset that there wasn't a contact in my phone for her. What the hell was wrong with me? I missed a woman I'd never even met and probably wasn't even real.

I fought my way out of my tangled covers and went to go get a drink of water from the kitchen in my Manhattan apartment, a glance at the time telling me it was almost time to get up for the day. I still hadn't packed and I had to be at La Guardia soon for my flight to Germany to continue filming Civil War.

The details of the dream faded quickly as I got up and moving for the day. I showered and threw everything I knew I needed in my suitcase and made sure my ticket and passport were in my messenger bag. Traffic was light so I was there plenty early for my flight, checking in and then killing time in the VIP lounge until it was almost time to board my plane. I spent a lot of time on planes these days and absolutely hated sitting on the tarmac forever.

The stewardess smiled as she directed my to my seat in first class and I looked around before heading to my seat, having noticed the pretty brunette that was going to be seated next to me. When I got to what I knew was supposed to be my seat, I saw that someone had already set a bag in it. I looked over at the woman, who was absorbed in her book and hadn't even noticed me yet.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked as I touched my shoulder, startling her out of her book. 

"Ah!" One hand flew to her neck in alarm as she looked up with beautiful wide brown eyes at me. My heart skipped a beat and it felt like time slowed for a minute as her eyes held mine. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I said, recovering first and smiling slightly. "My apologies."

"No, I'm sorry; I was a little too into my book," she replied in a soft voice, "I wasn't expecting anyone. No one else has said anything to me, so it's all yours." She took the backpack from the seat and set it on the floor as I stowed my carry on. "I wasn't sure it was going to be taken, actually." 

"Why's that?" I asked when I sat down.

"The rest of the seats up here have been taken for a while already. Don't we take off really soon?" She asked, putting one finger in her book to mark her place. "I must've been more absorbed than I thought if I missed the announcements."

I gave her a grin, understanding what she meant now. "You didn't miss them yet. I just don't like to have to sit on the plane any longer than I absolutely have to."

"I don't blame you," she said with a smile. "We had a large group that needed to board together for head count, so we've been on here for almost an hour already. Our connection came in ahead of schedule."

"Lucky you," I said, giving her a leisurely once over. 

She was gorgeous in that naturally beautiful kind of way. Her long, curly dark brown hair was loose and she wore a touch of makeup, just enough to let me know she cared about how she looked. Her hair framed a heart shaped face and beautiful golden brown eyes. She was wearing skinny jeans and a light green long sleeved shirt, her jacket rolled up between her and the wall. 

"I'm Sadie, by the way." Her name - she was the woman from my dream this morning. 

She didn't know it yet, but she was going to become the most important person in my life, and I'd be damned if I was going to let her slip through my fingers. She held out her hand and I shook it firmly, my long fingers wrapping all the way around her much smaller hand, a shock running over my skin at the contact.

"Sebastian," I said with a smile. "A pleasure to meet you."


End file.
